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  • Happy Couples Do These 6 Things Before Sleeping To Strengthen Their Relationship

    The minutes before bedtime give you the chance to connect with each other.
    by Kate Borbon .
Happy Couples Do These 6 Things Before Sleeping To Strengthen Their Relationship
PHOTO BY iStock
  • Once couples become parents, it can be easy to get overwhelmed by responsibilities. Still, it’s important to not forget to take care of your relationship. One of the best chances to spend some quality time with your spouse is right before you go to sleep. Solidify your bond by starting (or continuing!) these five habits.

    6 things to do with your partner before bed every night

    1. Connect with one another.

    Chances are, you’ve both been busy the whole day, so before you go to sleep, take the time to connect. This doesn’t just mean having sex; having a conversation can work just as well. Just telling each other about what happened to you that day can be more than enough!

    On Smart Parenting Village (SPV), one mom wrote about the importance of “kwentuhan at kamustahan,” writing, “Even a few minutes of talking can make a world of difference. [It] keeps you updates sa nangyayari sa partner mo [and] at the same time it can open up topics or issues that need resolving na hindi nag-aaway.”

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    2. Go to sleep at the same time whenever you can.

    It’s typical for couples to have different bedtimes, especially when you come home late from work or try to finish a few more household tasks before sleeping. While this is unavoidable, experts recommend trying to go to bed at the same time at least a few times per week.

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    Therapist Kurt Smith tells HuffPost that separate bedtimes can create a disconnect between couples. “Happy couples, however, are intentional about coming back together at bedtime and reconnecting, if only for the few minutes of brushing teeth and getting under the covers. Going to bed together builds connection and provides opportunity for more intimate connecting.”

    3. Put your devices away.

    Ditching your devices before bed will not just help you sleep better but also let you and your partner to connect face-to-face. This is a recommendation made by some SPV moms as well. Mental health professional Tiiu Lutter tells Fatherly, “Electronics and TV should be used briefly in bed. They pull us apart.”

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    4. Set boundaries with your kids.

    Parents are supposed to prioritize their marriage over their children. Doing so will help you build a strong relationship and a loving home, which will allow your kids to thrive. For this reason, try to establish your marital bedroom as a place for Mom and Dad only.

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    “Your bedroom should be a sanctuary for the two of you. Although nightmares and illnesses might trigger children to climb into bed with you, in general, if intimacy and connection [are] your goal, encourage children to stay in their own rooms. Couples need privacy and boundaries to stay connected,” therapist Michele Weiner-Davis tells HuffPost.

    5. Resolve your issues.

    Some say it’s important not to let a day pass without couples resolving their issues. If this helps you avoid feeling resentful towards your spouse, do it. “If you just got into an argument with your partner before bed, try to mend it just enough where you can find a little common ground before going to sleep,” Melissa Divaris Thompson tells Bustle.

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    6. Say “I love you.”

    Many moms on SPV say that before they go to bed, they never forget to say those three words to their spouses! Some also recommend expressing appreciation for each other every night. “Assure your partner that she or he is enough, appreciated and loved,” one mom said. “Minsan kasi feeling ng isa’t isa, di na sila naa-appreciate. Simple thanks for the day’s achievements mean [the] most.”

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