What are the odds that you and hubby are going to have really amazing sex on your family vacation? Honestly, about as much as you would if you stayed at home.
The kids are still going to barge into the bedroom any second. You are still going to be tired and distracted, especially if you left yaya at home. And if your vacation involves a road trip, a plane ride, a busy itinerary or visiting relatives, honey, I hate to to burst your bubble, but you’ll probably prefer the hotel spa (or SLEEP!) over sex.
But is great vacation sex possible? Yes! It’s just going to take a bit of sneaky planning. Some smart moms share their tips!
Spend the afternoon by the pool Schedule any tourist attractions in the morning, and keep your afternoons relaxing and light, especially if you have kids below the age of 7. Tired, hungry and overstimulated kids tend to act up and have difficulty sleeping in the evening (and the goal is to get them to sleep early).
How to make it happen: Get a cabana by the pool and let the kids swim the whole afternoon. Have an early dinner served by the pool, so they’re full and pleasantly tired by the time you go up to the hotel room. “My husband and I also order cocktails and chat while we watch the kids swim. We’re both feeling mellow, relaxed and more romantic by the time the kids fall asleep,” says Trisha, mom to kids aged 7 and 5.
Get fun and flirty Honestly, there’s little time for foreplay when the kids are just a few meters away. That doesn’t mean that sex should feel like a drive-through! Hold hands, give your guy a compliment, flirt. Acting like boyfriend/girlfriend – even if it’s a date with your kids tagging along – can help you both make that “mental switch” back to the time when you were first dating.
How to make it happen: Mags, mom to an 8-year-old, remembers a great advice she got at a couple’s retreat. “Even ‘rushed’ sex can feel intimate if you have rekindled the emotional and physical connection – the warm, fuzzy feelings of being with your crush!” she said. So when she and her husband go on family vacations, she tries to be extra sweet and avoids talking about bills, errands or the kids. “I initiate and set the mood by being affectionate to him, which helps him feel more romantic towards me.”
Make good use of the bathroom “First of all, shower sex is overrated. My hubby and I tried it once, and I just felt cold and kept wondering if the tiles were clean – nakakasira ng mood talaga!” laughs Gina, mom to three kids.
How to make it happen: However, Gina is a big fan of bathroom foreplay before moving on to the bed unless there’s a big bathtub built for two. But even if there isn’t, there are mirrors and counters and complimentary scented lotions…oh, you get our drift.
Don’t do it in the evening Many of the couples we interviewed said that during vacations, they were often too tired by night time to have really good sex. “After all the sightseeing or activities, I just want to sleep or have alone time,” says Carrie, mom of a toddler.
How to make it happen: Best time for a quickie is early in the morning or after lunch – just work it around your kids’ usual nap schedules. “I usually threaten my kids that they can’t swim in the pool if they don’t take siesta. It’s the perfect excuse to get them to stay in bed while we have our own fun,” laughs Jenny, mom of two.
Bring a toy We don’t mean for the kids. You can surprise hubby or shop for one together (it’ll be part of the foreplay). Aside from toys, there are oils and lubricants, lingerie, and accessories for him and for her.
How to make it happen: If you’re shy, there’s plenty of online stores where you can discreetly place your order. If you need a recommendation, see this story by SmartParenting.com.ph.
Don’t take the sex too seriously Vacation sex (like married life) rarely goes according to plan. But don’t overburden it with too many romantic expectations that make it feel like another item on your itinerary. Just relax, laugh it off if something happens (or not), and enjoy.
While interviewing for this article, so many moms shared their vacation sex fails – kids walking into the bedroom, ordering wine and then both being asleep by the time the room service arrived, or hubby being too tired and tipsy that he couldn’t get it up. Bad sex happens to the best of us.
The important thing is to enjoy the vacation and each other’s company.