Parents know this common scenario well: we want to respond calmly and with patience, as suggested by experts and parenting articles,but sometimes we do lose our cool and snap at our kids. Even celebrity parents who share openly about family and parenting on their social media accounts experience this too, as evidenced by host and mom of two Bianca Gonzalez's recent parenting story she shared on Instagram.
On April 23, Bianca posted a picture with her two daughters Lucia and Carmen and told a story about them in the caption. "My daughters inspire me to be a better person every day, and a lot of times, they actually teach me how to do that, she wrote.
She recounted an instance when Carmen, their youngest daughter grew frustrated that her drink had no straw attached to it and they had forgotten her reusable straw too. "She was overwhelmed with how she felt and started crying and kicking, demanding for her straw. I told her to wait until we get home, but she kept whining and wasn't hearing anything at that point.
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Bianca continued, "I tried my best to keep my cool despite the meltdown, but I failed. I raised my voice and told Carmen off and instantly felt terrible after. Carmen continued to cry, but everyone was silent.
What turned this familiar scenario into a moment of humility for Bianca was what happened next. Her older daughter Lucia tapped mom Bianca's forehead using her pointer and middle finger.
"Lucia then went closer to me and started tapping my forehead lightly using her pointer and middle finger, with a concerned look on her face.
Bianca's caption then breaks to share another story, this time about Lucia. The mom of two girls always asks Lucia what interesting thingshe learned in school that day and a few weeks ago, she answered what her Homeroom Guidance teacher taught her class about managingbig emotions. "For example, when they get so excited, to not shout and scream in class, and instead show their excitement in a less loud way as to not bother other students. She said that when any of them would be too loud or disruptive, Teacher would gently remind them to practice self-control by tapping two fingers on their forehead.
RELATED: Bianca Gonzalez Gets Tattoos Of Daughters' Names: Their Names On My Skin 'Feels Magical’
Lucia tapped her mom's forehead the same way her teacher would tap hers to remind her mom to practice self-control with her sister Carmen."As Lucia tapped my forehead, my heart melted. I teared up as I gave her a big hug and told her, 'Thank you for reminding mommy to do better.'
Bianca made sure to apologize to Carmen for how she behaved after her daughter had calmed down. "She hugged me in the tightest hug ever, and went on with her day.
She ended her story with the realization that kids, too, can be a source of what's good and right. "In my 7 years of being a mom, I've come to realize that I have my version of that famous line: Mothers know best a lot of times, but there are times that kids know best, too."
Why repairing and apologizing to your child is important
Bianca's story is touching and relatable for parents because many of us have had moments when our kids have humbled us, such as when they remind us to practice what we preach to them.
Experts say apologizing to kids, just like Bianca did is important because it actually strengthens the parent-child bond. Parents model accountability when we practice apologizing to our kids, according to this previous Smart Parenting article.
This article explains that after behaving or reacting poorly towards one's child, parents may miss out on important step that can spellthe difference between a healthy and unhealthy parent-child relationship. This is called 'repairing'. “When we don’t repair after conflict occurs, kids and parents are left with those negative feelings stuffed inside. Over time, those negative feelings accumulate and eventually explode," reports Motherly as quoted in the same previous Smart Parenting article.
Remember that repairing is important to have a healthy relationship with your child, as well as for your child's emotional wellness as she grows older.
Know more about how to repair with your child in six easy steps after a conflict here.
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