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I will start this essay with a confession–it’s less than a few hours until the Christmas long weekend officially starts but I’m not at all ready.
I still have gifts that need to be wrapped, presents that need to be bought, and our noche buena ingredients aren’t complete yet.
While my kids excitedly countdown to “Christmas Eve’s eve”, or December 23, I experience dread in my stomach because of how unprepared I am this year. I want my kids to have a magical Christmas but I can already count all the things I haven’t done or will never get around to doing.
As a team, Smart Parenting thought of bringing your family this simple message: Presence over presents. That being with each other is what matters during this season. But I too need to remind myself of this message just as much as I want to share it with you.
'Let us not look what's on the table, but who still sits at the table with us to enjoy our simple but hard-earned spread.
This is the first year since the pandemic began that our homes have not become as central as in the past three years. Parents have returned to offices and schools have finally opened its doors. The busyness we craved in 2020 has come back with a vengeance, and the holiday traffic situation is our first reminder.
So how do we practice presence over presents?
At a time when most of us are still reeling from layoffs and are reminded to brace for recession impact, we mustn’t look at what’s on our tables with longing. Let’s look at who still sits at the table with us today to enjoy our simple but hard-earned spread.
When we aren’t able to buy exactly what’s on our child’s wishlist, may we take comfort in knowing that what kids remember years later won’t be the gifts. Their core memories will be the consistent celebration with the family no matter what we’ve been through.
RELATED: Presence Over Presents: How Your Child Can Benefit From Fewer Toys This Christmas
Set aside the tablets and phones this Christmas season and try reading a book aloud. It might not be an activity you’re used to, but see how this simple activity can be a low-cost bonding time that doesn’t need preparations.
Part of valuing presence over presents might mean bringing healing to your family: saying sorry to our children together with our ‘I love you’. It might just be what we need to rid ourselves of parental guilt. If Christmas is a time for mending with others, why not start with our own families and with the (tiny) people who matter most to us, the ones who follow what we do more than what we say?
If your Christmas celebration looks back at the birth of the baby in a stable filled with animals, it’s the prime example of presence over presents, isn’t it? It’s not what does or doesn’t surround us that matters, it’s who we’re with.
It’s no wonder that our country is infamous for celebrating Christmas four out of twelve months in a year–it’s because we know that this holiday points us back to one of the Filipino's major values: family.
From your Smart Parenting fam, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Thank you for welcoming us into your family. You are a gift to us.
Ronna Capili Bonifacio is the acting editor-in-chief of Smart Parenting. She has three children.