Iya and Drew Arellano On Raising Both Boys And A Girl: 'Walang Pang-Babae O Pang-Lalaki Na Laruan'

Celebrity couple Iya Villania and Drew Arellano discussed in their recent podcast what it’s like to raise both boys and girls, joking that it’s pretty much 'raising four boys’ because their sons outnumber their daughter. The couple has four children, Primo, Leon, Alana who is fondly called Duday, and baby Astro. 

From whether or not there are toys for girls or boys to teaching them about the differences of their body parts, here are some important points they raise:  

Gender-specific toys 

Iya and Drew shared that in this day and age when people are more open-minded, they didn’t want their kids to learn that things are gender-specific.  

“There are times that I find myself saying things like, ‘Oh pang-babae yan, pang-lalaki yan.’ Then I realized I need to change that,” Iya said as she shared a story about their experience with toys. 

“My Mom, maybe she really wanted a baby girl, bought Alana baby dolls and pram. But she wanted to play with all the McQueens. Because Alana wasn’t interested in that, I saw Leon, tulak-tulak yung baby dolls and pram. Kaya napa-isip ako, do I let him? Is it just a girl toy?” 

Drew also remembered the same thing with Primo, “It’s the same thing with Primo, with what they watch. May stage na puro Paw Patrol, cars, Toy Story ang pinapanood. Pero minsan nagulat ako nanonood siya ng Little Pony. Kaya mapapatigil ka at mapapa-isip. Is it okay to let him watch? Or do I stop him?”  

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Iya then realized that these things require effort from parents and caregivers because it’s different from what we were taught while growing up, “It’s a contrast effort for parents, kasi we grew up with ‘Huwag ka maglaro niyan o manood niyan, pambabae/panglalaki yan’. Then we have to teach differently to our kids.” 

She added, “The parents and the people around them can explain these things to them properly, para walang confusion.” 

Iya then shared a thorough observation from Leon, “When I saw Leon pushing the pram and the doll, sometimes you have to stop and think about why he’s interested in it. Is it really the doll? Or the pushing? Or the action of being able to take care of a doll the way he sees his parents take care of him? Or if he really likes dolls, so be it.” 

They noticed something different with their only girl, Alana. Since she was born later after Primo and Leon, she was exposed to ‘boy toys’ and was really interested in them. 

“Alana (Duday) got used to watching and playing with other ‘boy toys’, but we don’t really want to label them na ‘pang-boy’ or ‘pang-girl’,” they said.  

RELATED: How to Raise a Child Who Knows Boys Are Not Always Better Than Girls and Vice Versa

Teaching about private parts 

Kids’ curiosity about body parts usually start when taking a bath with a parent or a sibling, when they actually see others’ private parts, and the Arellanos experienced the same. Iya asked Drew when he will stop giving the kids bath, and he answered, “I don’t know, can we cross the bridge when we get there? Siguro it will reach a certain time. Pag awkward na.” 

Another funny and cute story from the Arellanos, shared by Iya, “Kapag naliligo silang lahat, of course, Alana’s starting to realize that she doesn’t have one of those like sa mga kuya niya. Ngayon, gusto niyang hawakan yung sa mga kuya niya, and it happens frequently. 

But it’s not automatic. Bigla lang siyang macu-curious. Si Leon naman, tawa ng tawa. Gustong hawakan din yung kay Alana.” 

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Iya and Drew laughingly shared the story, “It’s hilarious for kids, kasi they’re innocent. And that’s just a moment they can enjoy as siblings.” 

They also know that once they grow up, things will change, too, “Eventually paglaki nila, matututunan nila na they can’t touch each other’s private body parts. And gugustuhin na din nilang maligo mag-isa.” 

Iya reminded parents of boys and girls, “Heads up guys, they can be curious about each other’s body parts, so be prepared for that.” 

“We’re guilty about calling them ‘totoy’, but we’re teaching them the right terms for the private parts.” 

RELATED: How You Protect Your Child When You Stop Using Cutesy Words for His Private Parts

No difference between boys and girls 

For Iya and Drew, there is no difference in life lessons they’re teaching their sons and daughter. “We’re laying the foundation here at home. The values. Knowing right and wrong. Being respectful of others. Being mindful. Then I would feel comfortable to hear them out what they think. It’ll be easier for us to let them go. Decide on their own, make mistakes, and then stand up on their own.” 

How about you, SP Fam, what do you think are the differences of raising girls and boys?