Is Gentle Parenting Overrated? Parents On Trends They Say No To

In the age of information overload, it feels like there's always a new parenting trend or method emerging every day and everyone seems to have an opinion about it. But are these trendy methods as effective as they're made out to be?

We reached out to parents in our community, the Smart Parenting Village Facebook group, and asked which parenting trends they just can't get behind. Their responses shed light on the reality that parenting isn’t one-size-fits-all, and what works for one family might not be suitable for another.

Early Potty Training? Not for Everyone

One hotly debated topic is early potty training, often linked to the practice of "elimination communication" (EC). This method involves observing and being sensitive to your baby’s cues on when they need to pee or poo, and then sitting them on a “potty” so they can do it without diapers. (Read more about this here)

One parent, Nick Fernandez, found the concept of early potty training or "elimination communication" unappealing. The girl dad explains, “I honestly don't like ‘yung concept ng early potty training or "elimination communication". For me, important milestone kasi yung age-appropriate potty training. It's also a good learning experience for parents. Exciting din at some point.”

He adds, “doing it early (potty training) parang ang corny. Yes nakatipid ka pero wala lang, potty-training kasi has a certain reputation kaya elimination communication just kills the excitement.”

RELATED: The Essential Do's and Don'ts of Potty Training Your Toddler

The Gentle Parenting Misconception

Many parents who are top contributors of the community voiced their concerns about the popular trend of gentle parenting. While many advocate for its benefits, others are wary of where to draw the line between gentleness and leniency.

One parent raised concern about how the lines are sometimes blurred, and what is meant to be gentle becomes overly permissive.

“Gentle parenting vs dismissive parenting. I think sometimes, the distinction becomes blurred between these two. Parent-child boundaries get lost.” Kat Encomienda Pascasio further says, “Some people think na gentle parenting means not enforcing any form of discipline to your child at all. So sadly, mas maraming bata these days ang lumalaking matigas ang ulo and does not know how to recognize boundaries.”

Jo-an Liwanag echoes this saying, "I honestly don't get the concept of gentle parenting up to what extent can we call it gentle parenting or it's becoming a lenient parenting. Not all the time it applies. So when and where should gentle parenting should take its stand so we can balance it.”

RELATED: 3 Gentle Parenting Myths and The Truths Behind Them

Another mom also aired her reasons why she can’t get behind this parenting trend. Ladylyn Grace Flores worries the true meaning of gentle parenting getting lost in translation, “this gentle parenting ng karamihan is not the actual gentle parenting ng mga talagang nakakaalam. I mean gentle parenting ng karamihan is walang disiplinang mangyayare…walang consequence when they (kids) get in trouble cause they might get trauma sa parusa, let them freely express their feelings kahit bastos na ang dating para matuto daw magsabi ng nararamdaman nila, they are actually permissive parenting mask as gentle parenting.”

Choosing A No-Trend Approach

Others, like mom of 4, Brenda Moncada-Olivares believe that parenting defies trends altogether. “I honestly do not follow any trends. Every child is different. There's no specific style or pattern that will fit in them. It's not a one size fits all kind of thing. The style changes for every distinct character of the child and what age he/she is in. I respond according to what is needed for a certain situation.”

Ally Junsay also  share the same sentiment, “I have 3 kids and frankly, there is no trend that I follow. Every single child has his/her own different needs. Their personality and capability (age and emotions) will define what is the best way to discipline or raise them. I have a teenager, a pre teen and the last has ASD. But one thing I learned is you grow with your child. Their firsts are your firsts too so accepting that we will learn with our children is a must.” For Ally, parenting is working in progress you take with your child. “We don't know everything and we must be a listener and a learner too from them (children). Discipline is done at home, from us parents and guardians. Trusting our instincts, our love for them will develop trusting our children eventually,” she explains.

“Parenthood is an open book, you learn along the way. Not all experiences are applicable to each other. It's nice to hear opinions from other moms, but at the end of the day, it's still you, your husband and your kid, figuring what's best for everyone,” is also the same thinking for Jos Anne Samantha.

A Nod to Traditional Parenting

We also got a response on sticking to the 'traditional parenting styles' they grew up to know. A single mom says, “Actually di ko alam mga parenting style na ‘yan kung ano mga tawag nyo dyan kasi ginaya ko lang ‘yung ginagawa ng Mommy ko noon. Since 80's ako alam niyo na medyo terror style noon…Old-fashioned way padin ako na di ibibigay lahat kahit na alam kong kaya ko ibigay. Pinaghihirapan muna nila ang isang bagay bago nila makuha.”

What about you? Are there any parenting trends you don't agree with? Why?