'Be Present In Your Play Time,' And Other Tips To Make WFH Work For You And Your Child

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After two years of doing freelance work, I recently got hired for a full-time, output-based, and work-from-home position. I resigned early in 2020 from my regular job so that I can be a full-time mom and wife.

Because of the pandemic, we weren’t able to get any helper and we can’t have my mom or my sisters over due to the restrictions in our condo.

My daughter is turning three in July, and she is at the peak of asking ‘why?’ all the time, and is still breastfeeding. In short, before I signed up for a full-time job, I know I would have to deal with the struggles of working from home, and making it work, with her. 

So when an anonymous mom posted in Smart Parenting Village her woes on how to keep her child busy while she finishes her workload, it resonated with me. I’m only on my second week of employment, and it has been a struggle, but at the end of every day, I can say that I’m grateful for the little things that help us power through.

Don't get me wrong. As moms we know that we need to treasure the moments with our kids because they are only young once, but for some of us who need to work for our sanity and for our needs, we could all use some help.

Tips to make work from home work for you and your child

1. Plan your schedule and work when they are asleep 

Moms would relate - our golden hour to work is when our child is asleep.

This has been working for me: I would wake up at 6am, a few hours earlier than her, so that I can already finish all my to-dos even before she does. Then in the afternoon when she naps, that’s also the time I can do my other tasks for the day. The problem is when they become too overstimulated in the day that they won’t sleep or they want to sleep with you – during work hours. Which brings us to number 2.

2. Train them to sleep on their own. 

The anonymous mom from SPV shares, her kids, especially her 1yo, want to hug her to sleep. She works night shift from home, and she’s asking how moms got their child to have a favorite stuffed toy to hug to sleep. She said, “Minsan iiyak pa siya, “mom, I want to hug you.” So ayun, kamusta ang workload, huhu.” 

Most of the mommies agreed that the key is to let your child pick the stuffed toy that they want. Mommy Triela Zaragoza said, “Isama niyo po ang anak niyo sa pagbili ng stuffed toy at papiliin ng gusto.” She even shared a hack, “Then bihisan mo ng iyong damit para pag niyayakap niya, andun pa rin ang scent mo. Alam nia na kasama ka pa rin.” 

Dr. Roland dela Eva, a sleep specialist and pediatric pulmonologist, agrees with using a transitional toy to help in sleep training. “Instead na magulang yung hahanapin nila. Kadalasan kung magising sila sa gabi at pag nahawakan nila yun secured ang feeling nila at makakabalik sila sa pagtulog ng walang problema.” 

3. Give them supervised AND limited screen time. 

Sometimes, as much as you want to give them your undivided attention, there are meetings that you have to attend with your full attention, and deadlines that you need to beat.

My last resort would be to let her watch YouTube Kids in her phone beside me while I work. I would set the phone’s alarm to 10 minutes, and after that, we will both have a screen break.

Just make sure that although you are immersed in your meeting to look at your child every now and then, because the last time we did, my child chewed my husband’s computer table.  

4. Be present in your play time. 

Make sure that you make time for play time. Put it in your calendar like how you would schedule your meetings. And during that sacred time, be present and keep your work stuff away like laptops and cellphone.

I'm a believer that what your child needs from you is quality over quantity. Having short but focused play times is better than being together all day, but your mind is wandering or you are constantly on your phone. 

Regina C. Licauco, an educator, says, “Set aside time to play with your child and don’t allow interruptions -- no cell phone, no TV, no business calls during this time. Your full attention to him during play time will go a long way for you and him.” 

During playtime, since you have limited breaks, make the most of it by playing role playing games or introducing a new activity that she will find interesting. If she insists on watching, tell her that you will play music instead. 

5. Eat together as a family. 

When you are too focused on your work, it’s easy to forget about your meals. However, I believe that mealtimes should be sacred, and you should make sure to eat together.

According to a study from the Université de Montréal in Canada, children who regularly eat with their family are better at getting along with others and are more physically fit. 

I also noticed that when my child is full, she is in a better mood to play with her toys on her own! It gives me time to check on my emails and do some more work. 

6. Ask for help from people you trust 

As a new working mom from being a stay-at-home mom for two years, mom guilt tends to kick in a lot of times. Every day when I have to attend a meeting and let my child watch YouTube Kids, I think about this: “Did I make the wrong decision? Should I just give this job up again, and be hands-on to my child?”  

 

On my first day at work, I had 4 consecutive meetings that would take 5-6 hours. I knew I needed help, so I asked my sister to come over and help me attend to my child. We were able to conquer that day: I showed up in all the meetings with my full attention, and they spent the day playing and even went out to swim. My sister had a great time bonding with my daughter, and I was happy to know that. 

7. Choose a company that recognizes the needs of parents

I'm grateful for companies who are supportive and accommodating to working moms. There are moments when my child would breastfeed while I'm in a Zoom meeting with the camera on, and it's okay with them. 

It is high time that we support moms who are going back to work because they can. Do not assume what they can and cannot handle.

If you need help, ask for it. It takes a village to raise a child, and you would be surprised that things will work out better than you imagined. You don’t have to be too hard on yourself, but make sure you communicate your needs so that the people around you will know how they can help. 

My husband - who is also working from home - and I also discussed that in order for us to make this work, we need to get a helper. We are still searching for one, and I hope to find her soon.

Til then, I'm using these tips to get by. Good luck to us!

The author is a Senior Staff Writer for SmartParenting.com.ph