#SP Confessions: I Work Hard and I Don't Spend Time with my Child

This story is based on a true #SPConfessions sent to us at Smart Parenting Village. Some details have been slightly altered to protect the sender's identity.

My daughter finished her school year early this April. I decided not to enroll her in any summer classes—I felt she was still too young for a packed schedule. Since I work from home most of the time and my husband reports onsite, I thought I could manage.

But the truth is, even though I'm physically present, I’m often mentally absent—buried in deadlines, creative work, and endless tasks.

One evening, we asked her to take a break from watching on her gadget. We were worried about her eyesight—my husband and I both wear glasses. She immediately said, “What will I do now? I’m so bored.” Then she started to cry.

I gently reminded her about her coloring books and toys, but none seemed to matter. What she really wanted was a playmate.

I told her, “How about Mama plays with you before bed?”

Through sobs, she replied, “No... I want Mama and Papa to still do their job eh… I just want a playmate. I want a yaya.”

'I’ve been pouring myself into work, thinking I was doing it all for her. But the one thing she needed—my time and attention—was the one thing I couldn’t give.'

That moment hit me like a ton of bricks. She wasn’t asking for more screen time or new toys. She just wanted someone—anyone—to spend time with her. I broke down in tears.

It hurt so much. I’ve been pouring myself into work, thinking I was doing it all for her. But the one thing she needed—my time and attention—was the one thing I couldn’t give.

What broke me even more was her kindness. She didn’t complain or demand. She understood. She still wanted us to keep working. She just wished she had someone who could be there for her. And that realization cut deep.

I know what I need to do. But knowing doesn’t make it any easier. I keep asking myself: What am I really chasing? And who am I doing all this for?

After that whole cryfest, my husband and I hugged her tightly and told her we were sorry. That night, he gave in to her favorite after-bath game—throwing water balloons on the X mark. She became happy and lively again, as if nothing had happened.

But for me, that moment stayed. It was hard to move on.

I know what we must do—it’s just easier said than done. I’m sharing this because maybe other parents feel the same way. I want you to know you’re not alone.

Tomorrow is another chance to try to be better. We may struggle, but it’s never too late to try again. I'm grateful that our children's love for us is pure and precious. I want to fill her days with even more love.

 

Do you have your own #SPConfessions that you’d like to share with us? Send them to Sara Palma at Smart Parenting Village or at smartparentingsubmissions@gmail.com.

Read data on how much time we spend with our kids while they're young to help you put their childhood years into perspective.