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  • Expert: Raise Confident, Happy, And Respectful Kids By Using This ‘Magic Word’

    What if there was a ‘magic word’ that can make parenting a little bit easier?
    by Kitty Elicay .
Expert: Raise Confident, Happy, And Respectful Kids By Using This ‘Magic Word’
PHOTO BY Shutterstock/ucchie79
  • We know there’s no clear-cut guide to raising our children, but what if there was a ‘magic word’ that can make parenting a little bit easier? According to Janet Lansbury, a parenting educator, author, and host of the popular podcast Respectful Parenting, these words do exist.

    One of these words: Prepare. We know that kids thrive when there is structure or when they follow a routine — it makes them feel secure and it boosts their confidence. As it turns out, your little one will benefit a lot from hearing this magic word starting from infancy.

    “We might experience the power of prepare by informing our two-week-old infant that we will pick her up, pausing for the moment she needs to take this in, then noticing her stiffening her body, readying h.erself to be lifted,” writes Lansbury on her website.

    As you continue to prepare your child as he grows — let him know that you can only visit the park for a few hours, or that you will be visiting the doctor today — you might notice his improved mood. Maybe he’s throwing even fewer tantrums!

    Lansbury also suggests talking your kids through their nighttime routine step by step in advance. “After dinner, you can have some playtime. Then, we’ll take a bath and we’ll brush our teeth together. Then, we’ll snuggle in bed, read a book, and say our prayers. I’ll kiss you goodnight and we will see each other when you wake up in the morning.”

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    You’ll be surprised that they’ll soon be looking forward to bedtime and falling asleep with a smile!

    The benefits of preparing our children

    A child’s behavior improves when they know what to expect and also what is expected of them. Here are the other benefits of using the magic word prepare.

    1. It makes him feel more secure.

    Children feel safe and comforted when they follow a routine. It eases their fear and provides a sense of security, says Lansbury.

    “Children need reasonable limits to feel safe, and having a routine is part of setting limits,” says developmental pediatrician Dr. Victoria Ang-Nolasco.

    2. It makes them more confident.

    Young kids love repetition and knowing what to expect can help boost their confidence. “It helps them accept and even look forward to new, challenging, uncomfortable, or seemingly unpleasant situations and transitions,” adds Lansbury.

    3. It improves their language and communication skills.

    Each time we describe to our kids what happens next, we are teaching language “organically and respectfully, because we are using words that are authentic, pertinent, and meaningful to our babies,” says Lansbury.

    4. It builds trust and nurtures our relationship with our kids.

    “Your child needs some consistency to her day, a predictable sequence that lets her explore the world without worry,” said child and family therapist Victoria Manion Fleming, Ph.D., to Parents.

    When you prepare your child and she realizes that what you tell her is true, it deepens your connection with one another. It gives the sense “that we’re in this together,” adds Lansbury.

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    This way, your toddler becomes more cooperative and it builds up success!

    Routines make the whole family happier! Click here for an easy-to-follow schedule for your child.

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