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  • 12 Situations When Toddlers Become Their Parents' #1 Health Hazard

    Get ready for the pain and learn a few blocking techniques.
    by Rachel Perez .
12 Situations When Toddlers Become Their Parents' #1 Health Hazard
PHOTO BY iStock
  • Oh, toddlerhood! It will definitely make you miss the times when your child is just sleeping and feeding, and sometimes crying for the most predictable reasons (yes, they throw tantrums for the weirdest reasons, too, as you will read here). Being a parent to a toddler is not only a test of your patience, but it is also a threat to your...physical health.

    For evidence, we turn to Weng Chen, a video game developer from Seattle, Washington, and the woman behind The Messy Cow comics series. She draws from her experience as a mom of two, and we've featured her comics on the differences between having your first- and second-born kids. This time, we're showing off her series that prove toddlers are very, well, effective weapons of destruction, and based on the comments, you know parents agree.

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    You're reading with your toddler, and he suddenly lifts his head — that's an uppercut right there. 

    "My toddler daughter decided to try to wake me up by jumping on my chest. While standing on my chest, she slips and head-butts my face, breaking my nose. I woke up in a pool of my own blood. True story," wrote one parent in the comments.

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    And the head is a debilitating weapon when aimed at the crotch. "My 3-year-old daughter did this once. I felt the pain on my nuts. I could feel my soul leaving me to my ancestor could feel it, too," shared another dad.

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    Your little one wanted to use your bottom as a seat cushion but accidentally lands hard on your lower back instead.

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    You would think it's not painful as the butt cheeks are probably the meatiest (or fattiest?) part of the human anatomy. It's not the butt per se that's damaging, but the amount of force upon impact.

    For example, you're quietly reading or keeping to yourself, and your toddler suddenly decides to dive and sit on your belly. "I've actually hurt my back for life this way. I can't lie on my side to sleep for longer than just a little while," shared another parent.

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    Admittedly, this could provide some kind of relief for some parents, as one mentioned in the comments. "This would feel like a massage for me though!" revealed one mom.

    You're sleeping, and your toddler suddenly gives you a kick on the face (or other parts of the body).

    One mom shares, "I was innocently sleeping when I felt a very sharp pain in my eye, I was kicked by my son right in the eye. I woke up confused yelling in pain...Lord!"

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    "I got to the point that my hands just instinctively cover my crotch area every time the kids get near me," wrote one dad.

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    Those tiny little hands can be a menace.

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    "My daughter used to sit on my chest and open my eyelids when I pretended to be asleep at 2:00 a.m. in the morning. I have no clue how I survived two children two years apart," wrote one mom.

    It could also wreak havoc in things that you've put so much time in, like for example, your hair and carefully put together OOTD. "The damage plus time wasted," one parent summed it up.

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    Sometimes your tot burrows his nails on your skin.

    And it requires first-aid treatment. "When daughter was 2 years old, she scratched my eye with her yet uncut nails. I had to go to the emergency [room] to get medication [because] it just really hurt. I had blurred vision for a week."

    A child's teeth can be sharp

    "When my son was 2, he fell head straight into his father forehead with his mouth open. We saw blood and thought it came from his teeth, but his teeth were fine. My husband's forehead, on the other hand, had two large holes dripping blood. Toddler's teeth, the sharpest of blades," shared one parent.

    Your child's voice can be his superpower

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    Maybe it's not physically damaging when your toddler screams right near your eardrums, but as one mom shared, "Dealing with this right now... Drove me insane."

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    Toddlers are such as workout, but it can take a severe toll on your body.

    Sometimes your body takes a hit every time you're wrestling with your toddler as he throws a fit. "Every mom on the planet can relate to this. I never recovered from my back," one mom wrote in the comments.

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    "This is the reason why I don't need gym exercise. I already have my weights," another mom chimed in.

    Sure, pee sprinkles aren't as damaging unless it shoots right through your mouth.

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    And we all know about diaper explosions and the scent of baby poop and farts. "The wet ones are bad. Those hard rounds ones are the ones that make you gag," read one comment. "I swear smell of baby s**t is insanely horrible," read another.

    There are no words to say how sorry we are when your toddler delivers this when you're out in public. Many parents learn to deal, though, by getting used to the smell or learning to hold their breath longer.

    Cuteness is a weapon. How can you stay mad for so long when you see that cherubic face? 

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    "So tiring the whole day you are just chasing him," one mom shared. "But at the end of the day, if you see him sleeping soundly and hugs you because he doesn't want you to be separated from him, it is so heart fulfilling," she added.

    "All for the ultimate reward one can ever have for having a 2-year-old!" a dad wrote in the comments. "The feeling of contentment, happiness, and completeness...in a child, your own child!" he added.

    Toddlers can make you panic, hurt you, and make you feel frustrated a lot of times. "But with all that, they hug you, they never want to lose you, they value you. And by the end of the day, they heal you, lighten up your soul, and make you act like them at any age," as one dad summed it up.

    There are more reasons why no matter how tired or hurt you are, you get up and brush it off. But maybe get insured and learn to adapt to your tot's wea-puns!

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