Pregnancy Debate: Should Dads Be In The Delivery Room? Moms Answer

Witnessing childbirth can be an emotional roller-coaster not just for moms but also for dads. After all, a day or two witnessing your partner go through a painfully long and excruciating labor, seeing the baby’s head come out through the vaginal canal, and even cutting the umbilical cord are experiences not for the faint-hearted.

Now that we live in a time when allowing dad to be part of the childbirth process is commonplace, it’s just a matter of couples discussing between themselves if they should go for this set-up. Interestingly, many couples realize that the presence of their partners during childbirth impacts their relationship not only during the process but long after the delivery.

We turned to our Smart Parenting Village moms to ask whether they experienced having their partners by their side during childbirth and if the ‘aftermath’ has, in any way, impacted their relationship and how.

Pregnancy debate: Should dad witness the delivery?

Stronger bond with hubby

Mom Jos Anne shares that her husband was with her in the operating room (OR) and he witnessed the entire process which has certainly made her husband more understanding even of her decisions when it comes to having another child. “Medyo kulang iyak ng baby namin nung nilabas siya and nagworry (si hubby) ng konti tapos nakalimutan na niya ko sa OR habang tintend naman ako ng OB ko,” she recalls.

“He knows that delivering a baby is no joke. He saw the process until my healing. Nagkaron pa ako ng distended bladder wherein I was unable to urinate. When I was able to, hawak niya akong nakatayo tapos nago-overflow na sa diaper ko yung urine.” Mommy Jos Anne adds that after witnessing this, her husband gave her a smile and kiss on the forehead, congratulating her for a successful ‘release.’

“I believe, that with my husband being there and seeing the process is helpful and guaranteed na stronger yung bond ng marriage. Plus, what I noticed was he respected my decision to not have another baby right away and will forever respect my decision,” she says.

Traumatized hubby became hands-on dad

Another mom, Shannalene, says her husband was traumatized by the whole birthing process but it made him become a more empathetic partner.

“Nasa delivery room asawa ko for both kids. He assisted me, held my legs, cut the cord and kitang-kita niya lahat ng pangyayari. Sabi niya na-traumatize siya na nakita niya lumalabas yung ulo ng baby pero it gave him a better understanding sa hirap ng pinagdaanan ng mga nanay sa panganganak.” She adds that since then her hubby has become hands on with raising their kids.

‘He respects and values me more’

Mommy Joana revealed that her husband “changed for the better” after seeing the struggle she went through during labor and throughout their baby’s delivery.

“Kasama ko si Hubby while pushing. During that time nahirapan ako ilabas si Baby and he can see me struggling at kita niya rin ang ulo ni baby na palabas na pero ayaw magpush-through for some reason hanggang sa nanghina na ako at humihina narin heartbeat ni Baby.

“Then from normal delivery sana naging emergency ceasarean na ang nangyari. Dun namin nalaman na naka face palm pala si baby sa loob na nagcause ng blockage.

“That is the birth of our second baby and first time din na na-witness ni hubby kaya from then on nalaman niya how hard it is and he really changed a lot, for the better. I feel that we became closer and he respects and values me more than ever after that. Kaya I highly suggest that husband should be present inside delivery rooms talaga kahit for CS kahit sa medyo malayo lang basta nakikita nya.”

This Dad did it ‘all’

Mommy Mayeth’s delivery is one for the books. Not only did her husband take the brunt of her painful labor, but he also willingly stood in to do a nurse aid’s job on the spot.

“Nasa tabi ko lagi asawa ko. Siya taga hawak ng kamay ko kapag humihilab tyan. Nahihigpitan siya sa hawak ko at nasabunutan ko pa ata. Siya din nag-punas at nagtanggal ng poops noon na di ko sadya na nailabas. Nahihiya ako sa mga nurses kaya asawa ko gumawa,” she says, adding a lauging emoji.

“Walang cons until now,” Mommy Mayeth reflects back on their experience as a couple. “Mas tumibay lalo pagsasama kasi alam namin ang hirap. Sarap sa feeling’

She adds that couple should discuss how far their partners are willing to support them in the delivery room. “Ang importante doon is kung saan ka (as a mom) comfortable. Sa akin all out. Siya din taga video sa baby pag labas (ng baby)!” Kabilin-bilinan ko na huwag papakita private area. Sa side lang mag-video,” she jests.

RELATED: Puwede Bang Magpahilot Pagkatapos Manganak?

Labor and delivery without your partner

‘He knew what he was supposed to do’

Mommy B on the other hand shared what it’s like to give birth with and without her husband by her side and realized that hubby’s presence makes a world of difference.

“I gave birth last 2021 to our first child and hindi siya pinapasok sa delivery room. I think this had more effect on me kasi even though he was very willing to support me throughout my delivery, wala naman kaming choice.” Since then, Mommy B was afraid to get pregnant again, fearing she might be alone in the delivery once more for their second child. “Parang natrauma ako kasi mag-isa ako from labor to delivery,” she recalls.

“Fast forward to our second baby, who I delivered last January 12. My husband was with me almost the whole time, from labor to delivery. He was allowed to go around the Delivery Room and see whatever he wanted to see. Nung pushing stage, nasa bandang ulo ko siya kasi ine-encourage niya ako na kaya ko pa, na konti nalang lalabas na. Then I heard the funniest thing from him when he saw na lumalabas na si Baby. Sobrang unforgettable yung reaction niya. It was so precious that we shared that moment.

“Hindi namin napagusapan in detail prior but it seemed that he knew what he was supposed to do with me. Ang nasabi ko lang sa kanya, guide ka naman ni Doc on what you need to do at ikaw mag-cut ng umbilical cord ni baby. He was there from start to finish, it made me so happy. I think he also had a new appreciation sa panganganak,” she adds.

Dads belong in the labor room, too

These stories are a testament to the power of shared childbirth and its positive impact not just on the women in labor but on the supportive dads who saw them through cramps, cries, and complications. And, as this study on “Birth experience from the perspective of fathers,” show such set-up comes with ‘predominant positive emotions’ that impact not just mom and dad but child and relationships as well.

So, here’s a shoutout to all dads, you belong in the labor room, too.