Gender Reveal: Yes Or No?

It’s almost automatic. When you tell people that you’re pregnant, there’s usually joy and excitement, followed by, “Boy or girl?”

Some parents choose to make a big announcement, either online or with a party with family and friends. Other parents feel that it’s not really necessary, that it’s just an added expense. And some parents don’t even want to know if they’re having a girl or a boy, until the day the baby is born! 

Traditionally called a gender reveal, some have switched to calling it a “sex reveal.” Mom and physician Nina Natalia Bautista, aged 39, explains, “Ang mas appropriate talaga na term is ‘sex reveal’, kasi ‘gender’ is a social construct.” Because there is more discussion about gender and sexuality these days, some parents feel that the term ‘gender reveal’ is closer to what members of the LGBTQIA+ community do when they come out.

Some people might wonder: how do you do a sex reveal anyway? Joyce Cai, 31-year-old entrepreneur, explained, “Sinabi ko sa OB ilagay sa envelope, and binigay ko sa sister ko, para sya mag-organize. So di talaga namin alam. Corny naman kung acting lang!”

Janella Marie Superal, 28-year-old stenographic reporter, did the same. “Yung result [ng ultrasound] isusulat, tutupiin at i-stapler, tapos ibibigay sa gagawa ng cake. Ganto ginawa namin, para wala talaga kaming idea.”

We asked some parents what they did when they were expecting their baby, and what they thought of the “sex reveal” idea.

READ ALSO: Practical Guide To Talking To Your Kids About Gender, Sexuality, and Condoms

Big reveal

Some parents share the fun ways that their family did sex reveals, and the reasons behind their decision. A popular option–which you’ve probably seen on social media–is a cake.

“These reveal ‘parties’ don’t need to be expensive. If you have to spend a ton para ma-appreciate ng iba, then you’re with the wrong crowd." —Rann

Angelu Dianne Bulseco, 25-year-old entrepreneur, shares, “We had a very simple cake. We went to our OB for a check up, then she asked if we wanted to know. Sabi ko wag muna sabihin. Nilagay niya lang sa envelope. Punta kami sa cake shop. Pag-uwi tsaka lang namin binuksan yung cake. Then after a few weeks kami nagpa-baby shower. Mas madali kasi yung mga gustong magbigay ng gift, hindi na mahirapan sa pag bili kasi alam na nila yung gender.”

Rann, a 37-year-old freelancer, shares how they did it for their two children. “Sa eldest, 2 balloons lang, tas yong kain nakisabay sa birthday nang Auntie ko. Request nang family ko talaga, kasi super excited. Gusto lang nila ma-experience yong mag guessing game. Sa youngest naman, palayok and candies lang, kasi timing din na may family affair na.” 

READ ALSO: Low-Budget Gender Reveal Via Toilet Flush? This Dad's Idea Is Like Nothing We've Ever Seen

Roanne Duran-Pascual, a 36-year-old communications professional, is currently pregnant, and she shares, ‘We revealed our baby’s sex to family and close friends, for no reason other than the joy of getting to know the would-be new member of the family. It really didn’t matter to us whether we’re having a boy or girl, as long as they’re healthy. When we found out we’re having a son we got excited, not because we preferred a boy, but because both sides of our families are mostly girls. We would’ve had the same reaction if it were the other way around. Actually, madami nagsasabi na ‘sige alamin niyo na para ma-prepare yung baby stuff.’ Pero honestly, OK lang naman kami, tatanggapin namin yung mga baby stuff ng ibang pamangkin namin kahit pink pa yan!”

If you choose to do a sex reveal, Rann reminds parents, “These reveal ‘parties’ don’t need to be expensive. If you have to spend a ton para ma-appreciate ng iba, then you’re with the wrong crowd–kahit ‘family’ pa yan.”

No need for a big announcement

Some parents feel that making a big fuss over revealing their baby’s sex is just a lot of unnecessary expense and stress. Lai, a 29-year-old SAHM, and her husband felt this way, “Parehas kami tamad sa social gatherings. Gastos lang siya para samin that time, at ayaw namin mapagod. Saka mas gusto namin yung kami lang at pamilya lang muna makakaalam hehe, ayaw din namin ng surprise.” 

"After my ultrasound, I immediately told them the gender, kasi what’s the point of keeping it a secret or prolonging their excitement?" —Mel Astilla

Mel Astilla, 30-year-old Senior L&D Specialist, feels that there’s no need to make an announcement to all their friends and relatives. “I opted not to have one, kahit some relatives are suggesting. Why? Kasi, I’ve waited long enough to know the gender of my baby, tapos bibitinin ko pa sarili ko? Plus effort, plus gastos! After my ultrasound, I immediately told them the gender, kasi what’s the point of keeping it a secret or prolonging their excitement? Lastly, I also know how to read the ultrasound. Pag-scan pa lang ng OB ko, sabi ko agad, uyy boy!"

Some parents do not want their children to be affected by any social expectations or pressures associated with their sex or gender. Gen Cera-Pico, 28-year-old cloud engineer, explained that this is why they didn’t do a big reveal. “Di ko trip na naka-associate sa color yung sex ng baby ko. I’m not a fan, na since birth bakit kailangan may naka-assign na color, heavily normalized. I don’t want my child to grow sa role na nakadikit ng color, kasi what if he’s gay diba? Tapos it’s irking kasi traditional yung mom ko, sinasabi niya wag daw bilhan ng pink.”

It’s the same for Judy Santiago-Aladin, 33, Smart Parenting section editor. “When I was pregnant, I didn't bother arranging a gender reveal event for my baby. I believe that, whether a child's biological sex is male or female, we don't have to make a big deal out of it since their preferences could change. I have amazing friends from the LGBTQIA+ community, and I am responsible to teach my child, as early as possible, that they can be who they want to be--girls can play with robots, boys can play with dolls, and it's okay.”

Whatever the decision, Mel reminds parents, “Follow your heart and ask yourself about the end goal. Gusto mo ba siya, or pressured lang because you need to go along with the trend? You’re the one carrying the baby. Definitely, you have the final say and decision.”

Join the Facebook group, Smart Parenting Village, and share your thoughts about having a gender reveal, here.