No Money And No Help? Moms Say Kaya Pa Din Mag-Me Time!

This story is inspired by a real #SPConfessions shared with us in the Smart Parenting Village. Some details have been altered to protect the original poster.

“Madaming nagsasabi na dapat daw may me-time, para makapag-recharge at unload ng pressure, lalo na sa mga stay-at-home moms. No offense, pero nakakapanlumo minsan yung reminder na yan kasi sa totoo lang maraming nanay na hindi afford na maglaan ng time at pera para alagaan ang sarili nila. Sabi daw, if gusto, may paraan. True naman, pero paano kung ikaw lang talaga at kids mo ang magkakasama sa araw-araw at malayo ang tatay nila. As in wala ka support sa both sides? Yung tipong kahit tulog ka, nag-aalaga ka pa rin ng anak mo? Saka paano if wala kang budget para i-pamper ang sarili mo? Heto pa masakit, alam naman din yan ng majority ng tao pero wala naman talagang tumutulong para maalagaan ang mga nanay.”

We have long established that moms also need time to recharge and take care of themselves. Because again, how can we pour from an empty cup? But another question is, how can we take care of ourselves and have some needed “me-time” if we don’t have the resources–namely, money, time, and help to do it?

One mom posed this question in the Smart Parenting Village, and other moms came to the rescue. They say, me-time is still possible even with limited to no resources. Here are their recommendations:

Me-Time Without Budget Or Help

Exercise at home

Don’t underestimate the power of endorphins to make you feel better about yourself. Plus, you can do it without spending or leaving your kids behind because you can do it from the comforts of your own home. As one mommy said, “If no budget, exercising at home helps. Do this first thing in the morning, kapag lahat tulog pa. Do it kahit 4-5am mo need gumising.

“No need for gym membership since madami sa YouTube na free workouts that range from 20 to 60 minutes. It’s a form of taking care of yourself. Plus endorphins give you that glow that lessens the feeling of being stressed. Kapagod talaga but since you mentioned na walang budge, I think that’s the only way you can have your me time.”

Do things in peace

“Ang me-time naman, hindi naman need na gumastos. It’s alone time. It’s doing things on your own,” another mom said.

“Ang me-time ko is yung kumain mag-isa habang nanonood ng TV. I sacrifice a few hours of sleep or a few chores for my mental health. Kasama na ang maligo in peace. Mag-skincare saglit bago matulog, I do this kapag tulog na kids ko at kahit ma-sacrifice ko yung konting tulog ko, okay lang. Malaki ang difference ng marami ngang tulog pero sobrang exhausted mentally compared sa nag-me-time ako and a few hours of sleep.”

Another mom shared, “Pinaka-me-time ko yung pag-gising sa umaga na tulog pa mga bata, magkakape at mag-YouTube o Facebook kahit saglit. Kapag tulog naman na sila sa hapon, nanonood naman ako ng movies or series. Or lalabas ng saglit sa bahay at magpapahangin. Yung mga simpleng bagay na gagawin mo mag-isa, me-time na para sa akin.”

“For me, ang pinaka-me-time is panonood ng KDrama or movies sa Netflix while tulog mga baget,” another mom said. “Nakakulong lang kami sa kwarto, habang tulog sila, meryenda while watching.”

One mom agreed that me-time can be a privilege, “Privilege that you have the right support, money, and time. I also struggle with that.” However, she shared what worked for her, saying “But what I also learned over time is very fleeting lang din ang effect ng self-care. Ang best self-care is a moment of silence with our God, knowing na we are loved and we are His child na pwede magpayakap kapag pagod na tayo.”

Do what makes you happy

Moms are also quick to point out that “me-time” can mean different things for everyone. What’s important is that whatever it is, it should make us happy. One mom said, “Minsan kapag may time ako, naglalagay ako ng makeup. Tapos selfie. Tapos buburahin ko din agad. Or I buy mga food na I crave for especially if may extra money.”

“I love this. I agree sa paglalagay ng makeup,” another mom agreed. “Yung kung ano talaga makakapagpasaya sa iyo, yun ang gawin mo. Huwag tayo mag-focus sa nakikita natin sa iba, instead, kung anong available at convenient sa atin, doon tayo. It doesn’t have to be expensive, true luxuries in life are the little moments you enjoy doing, such as pag-inom ng kape sa umaga, dilig ng halaman, or maka-langhap ng sariwang hangin.”

Another mom suggested finding a hobby and to consider “having regular me-times” as advice that moms have the option to take or not. She said, “That's advice lang naman. Kasi totoo naman na nakakagaan yung mag-me-time. Hindi mo naman kailangan gumastos para sa me-time. Find your hobby and gawin mo kapag tulog na ang kids, that’s me-time na. May mga bagay sigurong hindi mo pa magagawa sa ngayon, pero lalaki din ang mga anak mo at sure na magkakaroon ka na rin ng me-time for yourself.”

“It’s your routine and mindset that makes you fresh again. Do exercise at home, drink lots of water, do yoga, read books to forget your problems, watch movies, engage yourself in a small business if you want, and most importantly, pray,” one mom wrote. “Time management lang ang mahirap sa umpisa lalo kung hindi ka sanay. Pero unti-unti, mgagawa mo din at magiging happy ka dahil alam mong may nagagawa ka para sa sarili mo.”

“Me, sanay na,” another mom wrote. “I found my happiness sa coffee, Netflix, side hustles. But I feel you, most of the time wala talaga masyado aalalay sa atin kasi nakikita nila tayong malakas. Kaya we need to look for something na magpapasaya din sa atin, kung nasaan man tayo.”

Ultimately, for most moms, me-time is a matter of perspective. It’s the small things or tasks that make us happy and make us feel the person we were before motherhood overwhelmed us. As one mom said, “Depende sa kung ano ang pwede. Hindi need gayahin and me-time ng iba.”

Read here for more ideas on self-care for moms.

Edited for spelling, punctuation, grammar, and formatting.

Do you have a #SPConfessions that you would like to share with us? Send it to Sara Palma in Smart Parenting Village or email it to us via smartparentingsubmissions@gmail.com.