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The excitement of having a new baby in the household inevitably puts everything else on hold, including getting intimate in the bedroom. Coupled with postpartum healing, it could take some time before you and your partner get your groove back, and it is totally normal. The "first time" after childbirth will definitely be different. If you want a preview of what it can be like, check out these moms who shared their experiences through SmartParenting.com.ph's "Parent Chat":
It really does take a while
Doctors often advise you to wait at least six weeks to give your body a chance to heal, especially if you gave birth via C-section or had an episiotomy. You need time for your cervix to close, postpartum bleeding to stop, and any tears to heal. Logan Levkoff, Ph.D. says you can wait even longer until you’re fully comfortable.
You might not feel the urge either since your hormones won’t be back to normal until you get your period back, which is around four to 12 weeks after delivery. This can take even longer for breastfeeding moms. Plus, you and your partner might be too tired from caring for a newborn. During this time, you’ll already be getting sleepless nights, though not in bed!
"It was three months for me kasi cesarean section ako. Hinay hinay pa ‘yun. Parang nakakapanibago kasi since malaman ko na preggy ako, (which was four weeks in) ‘di na kami nagcontact. But now after 14 months, back to normal na."
-- ParentChatter Eva
"After four months ulit kami nag-contact. Mula nung nagbuntis ako hindi na kami nag-contact ni hubby. First time kasi naming magkaanak at four years naming inaantay na makabuo. Cesarean section din ako kaya nagpahilom pa ako ng tahi. Ayan, nanibago kami pareho. Parang first!"
--ParentChatter qt_mom_c
"We’re busy kasi with work tapos feeling ko kulang na ang time sa isang araw to be a working mom. Eight months na si baby. May one year na din wala kaming ganyan. We never tried nung malaman kong I was pregnant."
-- ParentChatter MommyniAddie
"Sa totoo lang, parang medyo nabawasan din ang libido ko, after giving birth. Siyempre sama-sama na yung pagod ka sa buong maghapon."
-- ParentChatter eloytski
If you can’t wait to get back in action, consult with your doctor. He can give you the go signal as early as when the flow of lochia (leftover blood discharge after childbirth) has stopped, which can be after three or four weeks after giving birth.What other parents are reading
Expect physical changes
Making love will be different for the first few months after giving birth, a lot of which is due to the physical changes your body went through. Even if you no longer feel as sore, the hormonal changes might leave you drier and more tender down there so sex will be have to be gentle -- plus, it can be a little scary for C-section moms too! Pain is expected, so take it slow. Start with A LOT of makeout sessions to gradually ease you into the sexy mood again.
"As far as I remember hindi naman gano’n kasakit kasi careful naman kami both especially si hubby. Alalay lang. We resumed more than a month after as our OB advised after six weeks."
-- ParentChatter amieh
"We were advised to have a safe sex 45 days after delivery, pero when we tried may pain talaga so ‘di namin tinuloy. Nag-wait na lang muna kami ni hubby na maging prepared. There was really pain pero at first lang naman."
-- ParentChatter erich84
"We did it almost three months after I gave birth and, in all honesty, ang sakit talaga. During the deed, hindi ko napansin as much kasi siyempre feel na feel ko na and kahit papano I was feeling some pleasure pero after, diyos ko. Halos hindi na ata ako nag-pee and nag-poop for the rest of the day."
-- ParentChatter kulotski
"Nahirapan ako dito since super dry ko at wala sa mood parati after giving birth. Meron palang sex postpartum deficiency! Hehe!"
-- ParentChatter jayeshael
Different positions can take pressure off any sore areas during sex and lubricating cream can help with dryness. You may want to try do do the following beforehand to relieve the discomfort you may feel during sex: take a pee, have a warm bath or drink an over-the-counter pain reliever, says Mayo Clinic. After intercourse, you can wrap some ice in a small towel to the area to relieve burning. As always, consult with your doctor if the pain is intense or doesn’t go away.Sources: BabyCentre, Mayo Clinic, Parents
