All moms deal with a lot of things on a daily basis, and it doesn’t just involve raising the kids. There’s running the household, managing the budget, and nurturing a relationship with your partner. No wonder mothers are always tired and frustrated.
It doesn’t help that the moms we see on social media always seem to have it all together. Meredith Bodgas laments as much in her article for Working Mother. “The moms I know who don’t work have these super fun plans every single summer weekend, according to the brightly colored photos they post to Facebook and Instagram,” she writes.
“They’re going to a water park. Or the zoo. Or a farm. Or even just the playground. Me? I’m sitting on the couch with a Paw Patrol marathon on for my 3-year-old because I can’t bear to move. I’m counting opening the windows as outdoor time,” the mom adds.
Meredith expresses her guilt for not being able to make weekends more fun for her son, since working five days a week can be mentally exhausting, and she still has household chores to attend to on weekends. “Come Saturday, walking from my bed to the bathroom is a chore,” she writes.
Her experience is heartbreaking, but we’re sure a lot of moms are feeling the same way. Moms do a lot of invisible work — keeping tabs on every member of the family, worrying about everyone’s mood and needs, the chores that need to get done, obligations to fulfill, and more.
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Most of the time, the work that goes on behind the go unnoticed and uncounted. And it's taking a toll: the cost of emotional labor — the effort moms put in to make sure everything is running smoothly — is burnout. And yet, stay-at-home or not, moms are always expected to pull themselves together even when they’re feeling too damn tired.
To that we say: It’s okay to rest and feel lazy, mom. There is no need to feel guilty or ashamed. Your kids will be all right, so go ahead and take that break. You owe it to yourself.
“As guilty as I feel for not doing nearly as much as my less-lazy counterparts, my son is going to be OK, as will all the children of exhausted but loving working moms,” Meredith writes.
Remember that quality time with you is what your kids will remember the most. “The happiest, most successful adults don't wax poetic about their jam-packed summer weekends, but rather the support they had from their families throughout their lives,” says Meredith.
Do you ever feel like a mean mom? Click here to find out just what might be the cause.