Drew And Iya On What Makes A Good Marriage: ‘Communication Is Key’

In a time when break-up news floods the Internet–celebrity couples separating, marriages ending, and engagements being canceled–it can be disheartening. Such news often makes us wonder, “Does true love really exist?”

However, celebrity couple Drew and Iya Arellano continue to show and prove that true love does exist. One of the longest couples together in the entertainment industry, the Arellano couple proudly shared that they recently celebrated their 20th anniversary as boyfriend and girlfriend.

This milestone is impressive for anyone, but especially for Drew and Iya, who have spent their relationship in the showbiz spotlight.

At a recent event and a new endorsement for the whole Arellano family, the couple was as sweet and playful as ever. They joked around like teenagers in love. They willingly played the classic newspaper dance, dancing goofily with Drew carrying Iya while standing on tiptoe.

Recently, Drew playfully hinted on social media about how their youngest child, Astro, came to be.

Communication is Key

After four kids and 20 years together, Drew and Iya revealed their secret to their enduring relationship, “Number one talaga, communication,” Drew said.

He emphasized its importance, explaining, “Kasi kapag meron kang konting hinanakit or tampo, hahanap kami ng magandang oras para pag-usapan yun. Not at that particular point in time. Kasi hindi natin alam kung yung isa mainit yung ulo, o medyo stressed, o galing sa trabaho, or ang daming iniisip.”

Contrary to the popular marriage advice “Huwag kayong matutulog ng hindi pinag-uusapan ang away”, Drew and Iya take their time to talk when they are ready.

Drew shared their approach and what worked for them all these years, “Yung style namin ni misis, probably the next day, magwo-work out kami. When endorphins are high, happy hormones are high, and then that’s the time when we actually try to communicate better with each other.”

He added, “And I think that’s one of the best plus points ng exercise also. And exercising together.” The couple shares their fitness journey on their social media pages.

The TV host also highlighted how open communication has always been their practice. “It’s very easy for us to deal with things. I have to share and be proud of it because right from the very beginning, we were like, wala kaming tinatago from each other. Minsan nga, too much information na eh. Oh kumusta ang ihi mo, okay ba?”

Drew laughingly said, “Seriously, communication is such a huge factor in our relationship. And that’s probably why we have four kids.”

Iya agreed, adding that sometimes communication isn’t spoken, “We are very sensitive to our energy. We can feel when there is bad energy and the moment that we feel that there’s something that needs to be dealt with, we deal with it. We don’t want that energy to grow and take over and contaminate the joy in the house and family.”

For Iya, prayer also helps her communicate better. “For me, it’s also having a prayerful life. I think that helps me also. ‘Coz you know, I mean, in parenting, in marriage, in whatever situation, you’re always gonna be faced with challenges, and sometimes, your heart is not winning, so I always just pray for grace and that helps me. When I meditate and pray in the morning, I feel it helps me think over the things that I can change, and think of the things I can do better, and that sets the tone for my day. That helps me be a better wife to my husband.”

Date Lunches

Another secret Drew and Iya shared is they don’t do date nights - they do date lunches.

“Probably not date nights, but we do date lunches. Because most often than not, nasa 24-Oras ang asawa ko, so ang ka-date ko ay ang mga chikiting. ‘Coz we sleep really early at night. But when we do have our date lunches, it’s normally like Monday lunch,” Drew explained. The couple chose their just-us-no-kids (JUNK) date on what worked for their schedule.

The couple also shared that due to their busy schedule, they sometimes miss their date lunches. In this case, Drew praised Iya’s intuition, “I think mas magaling ang asawa ko sa pakiramdaman.”

Iya elaborated on when they know a JUNK date is due, “I’m mindful kapag hindi kami in sync, kapag medyo mainit yung ulo. Kunwari, simple lang na bagay pero feeling ko ang heated niya, or mainit yung ulo ko, I pause and think, ‘Uy teka lang’, I think we have to reconnect and kelangan natin mag-in sync ulit and we go for a date. It’s just being sensitive.”

Their advice to young couples is simple, “Communication is number one talaga,” Drew reiterated.

He ended with a piece of advice that’s both validating and reassuring, “Parenting is tough, I'm sure you guys can relate kasi you have kids. It’s never a perfect journey being a parent. Kami rin, even though we have four kids, they’re still young, and we’re still trying to be the best parents we could be.”

Drew and Iya tied the knot in 2014 after being in a relationship for 10 years. They have four beautiful children, Primo, Leon, Alana, and Astro. In their cover story for Smart Parenting, the couple revealed that they tend to focus on the strengths of each of their children, saying, “It’s really just about focusing and recognizing both strengths and weaknesses so that you know what to further nurture and what you also need to work on.”

Read here for Drew and Iya’s take on raising boys and a girl.