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  • Look Only, Okay Lang Ba? Dad Speaks Up On Fantasizing And Marriage

    This husband says it goes back to security in marriage, which he says is something you can build in your relationship.
    by Joey Ong of DadbudPH . Published May 27, 2023
Look Only, Okay Lang Ba? Dad Speaks Up On Fantasizing And Marriage
  • In a perfect world, feelings won’t get hurt and there will be no issue if a man or a woman admires another person but sadly, the world is still a work in progress and we need to navigate through this issue with an open mind. This issue of “fantasizing” about other women seems to be such a hot topic in many groups and communities, even in Dadbudph. So let’s try to understand better the issue, kung okay lang ba talaga na may ibang babae sa isip nating mga lalake.

    Siguro just to get this out of the way, the choice of word na “fantasize” may have been the major issue here, but that’s water under the bridge. Let’s move on to discussing the bigger issue. Bakit ba kailangan intindihin kung paano mag-isip ang mga lalake pag dating sa issue na ito? Ok, bago mag react, please understand that there is a deeper issue behind this and it goes back to security. How secure is your partner and what do you do to make sure she doesn’t feel any insecurity towards other women. Ok diba? Ang pogi naman nating mga daddy at kailangan natin maging concerned sa security ng partner natin #ikawna.

    RELATED: Husbands Fantasizing About Other Women–Normal or Not? Parents And A Sex Therapist Weigh In

    But this is a major thing that couples fight about and honestly, it’s also a problem that can be resolved or avoided. Read up to find out. 

    Naalala niyo pa ba nung nanliligaw ka palang kay misis at talagang siya lang ang pinaka-magandang babae sa balat ng lupa para sa iyo? Siguro majority naman satin na mga Dads, dumaan dito sa stage na ito. Halos sinasamba natin ang mga girlfriends natin dahil nanliligaw palang tayo. Let’s not forget to remind our partners that sila lang ang babae sa puso natin because we are in control of how we can make our partners feel. Those little gestures of appreciation can go a long way and this leads to a more peaceful life. 

    Here are some ideas on how to make your wives feel more secure na sila lang talaga ang number one sa puso at isipan nating mga Dads.


    'Your wife is the most beautiful girl who ever said yes to you, so make sure you take care of that.' —Joey Ong

    How dads can strengthen security in marriage

    1. Make little compliments and mean it.

    You know the little things really do matter and minsan pansinin mo naman yung bagong hairstyle ni misis or kung may bago siyang bili na damit sa Shopee. 

    2. Listen and always try to pay attention.

    Ang pag-suyo, madalas naguumpisa 'yan sa open communication. Baba mo muna ang phone at makipag-usap kay misis and rediscover that connection.

    RELATED: 'Anything Hidden Is Forbidden': Helpful Ways To Build Security In Marriage

    3. Ask for her opinion on certain things like kung maganda ba ang celebrity crush mo.

    Get her two cents and although she might not agree, 'wag ka na makipag-talo kasi alam mo naman na hindi ka mananalo.

    4. Be kind and considerate always with the feelings of your partner.

    Secrets can turn into doubt and will often lead to something malicious. Insecurity is something we tend to overlook and would often think na irrelevant but this is a very serious issue because relationships should be built on trust. Never ever break this because this is the hardest thing to gain back in any relationship.

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    Normal lang ba na magandahan sa ibang babae? I personally think yes and hindi naman siguro fake news kung may magsabing maganda si Liza Soberano or si Pia Wurtzbach, diba? But where do we draw the line between admiration and fantasizing? Hindi mali ang mag sabi na maganda ang isang tao dahil napansin mo siya sa photo or TV. Nagiging mali ito when you take it to the next level of fantasizing, and even worse, when you sexualize. 

    Lalaki tayo kaya ok lang yan? Ganiyan talaga tayo magisip. Ito ang mga bagay na madalas natin narinig and siguro ito din ang dahilan kung bakit tayo nalalagay sa alanganin. Old ways need to be changed for the new generation and this type of toxic masculinity is something we should avoid passing on to our children.

    RELATED: Are We Really Raising Our Sons In A World Where People Still Say 'Men Are Babaero In Nature'?


    Again, admiring is very different from sexualizing another person, this is a challeneg we need to battle. Laban lang! So, okay lang ba to admire another woman or to find another woman beautiful aside from your misis?

    There are many factors that makes this wrong but also many that makes it normal. In the end it will all boil down to how you are with your partner and how secure each person is in the relationship. There are those who admire together and would even have their wives point out a pretty girl passing by. There also those whose feelings need to be considered.

    It is our role as men, or maybe even the roles of our wives as well, to be considerate of each others feelings. It is not a one-size-fits-all and you should be the one to know and be sensitive to your partner. Make your parter feel secure by giving her her much-needed attention before complimenting others. Your wife is the most beautiful girl who ever said yes to you, so make sure you take care of that. Keep the peace. Manage emotions. Secure all feelings. A happy spouse makes a happy house.

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