Stay-at-home moms do more than just take care of the kids — they worry about the family meals, the chores that need to get done, their husband and kids’ well-being, and all the other obligations that need to be fulfilled to make sure the whole household is running smoothly. Most of these are invisible work that go unrecognized, and it’s often the reason why moms always seem to be tired and frustrated at the end of the day.
How dads can help stay-at-home moms
Of course, your other half is expected to lend a helping hand, but women will find that the men still need to be told what to do. And this is often why arguments happen: moms really don’t want to have to tell the dads. When they do try and tell their husbands that they need to do more work around the house, dads don’t seem to realize what the “work” actually is.
To give dads a clue what their wives wish they would do more often, here are 5 simple things husbands can do to help stay-at-home moms get through the day.
1. Stop assuming she has everything covered.
“Men know they need to contribute with housework and childcare but often don’t understand how to have a conversation about the emotional work that needs to be done in a relationship,” says Rebecca J. Erickson, a sociology professor, and researcher at the University of Akron. “Love is supposed to come naturally, but it takes work getting outside of yourself to show care and concern for another person by being attentive.”
In other words, don’t wait for mom to tell you what to do. Take the initiative and change your baby’s diaper when she’s soiled it or do the groceries when you see you’re running low on supplies. Pay a little more attention and you’ll already be lifting a ton of burden from her back.
2. Wake up early.
If you have a newborn, mom would likely lack sleep from all the late-night feedings. If you have school-age kids, mom will still lack sleep from making sure the kids are ready for school the next day.
Surprise mom by setting your alarm clock earlier. Let the woman of the house sleep in while you take the baby out for her dose of morning sun, or prepare the kids for school. You got this!
3. Don’t keep tabs on tasks.
Yes, you washed the dishes, fed the baby, and gave the kids a bath, but there’s no reason for you to run down all the things you’ve accomplished for the day to your wife. You’re not competing for the best parent award — marriage is all about teamwork and not about keeping score on who did more tasks.
4. Show more affection.
Being a mom is exhausting but knowing that her partner values the work she does can already ease the load. Show your appreciation by showing more affection. Edric Mendoza, a keynote speaker, and family advocate, says it’s important to “keep romancing your wife.”
“The big romantic gestures don’t always have to be there. But the gestures that really show your wife, ‘Honey, I will still pursue you. I will still show you that you are the most important woman in the world to me.’ However that translates to you, that has to keep going,” he says.
5. Text her during the day.
Being alone in the house with the kids can get maddening, so it’s important to keep your communication lines open to let her know she’s not alone. But don’t just ask about the house and the children — take time to have meaningful conversations with your wife. Ask her how she’s feeling, affirm her and thank her for everything she’s doing, or even send flirty messages to show her you are thinking of her and you can’t wait to see her when you get home. It’s an instant mood booster!
More than gifts, what your wife really needs is a partner who can help ease her load. Click here for more simple but sweet gestures that can show her how much you love her.