Dear Husbands: It’s Time To Appreciate Stay-At-Home Moms

Dear husbands,

With all that you do everyday–navigating the traffic, managing work responsibilities, and juggling  life’s demands–it’s understandable that when you ge home, you just want to relax. It’s easy to kick off your shoes, enjoy dinner, and unwind in front of the TV or scroll though your phone. But have you ever stopped to think about what it takes to have that dinner prepared and that clean, comfortable home waiting for you?

A Facebook post offers a stark reminder of the sacrifices and frustrations stay at home mothers (SAHMs) often face. Many mothers feel unappreciated, unheard, and taken for granted. This post serves as a powerful wake-up call to husbands to recognize the contributions their wives make–not just in maintaining their household but in raising their children and supporting their families in ways that often go unnoticed.

The role of SAHMs

“Ang misis na walang naipapasok na pera, tingin nila ay walang kwenta.”

The post begins with a sad but common sentiment, where a stay-at-home mom’s worth is often judged by her financial contribution–or lack thereof. In a society that frequently measures value by money or income, it’s easy to overlook the immense work done by those who manage he home and care for the children.

Stay-at-home moms take on roles that go beyond the traditional idea of “housework.” They’re the caregiver, educators, nurse, cooks, cleaners, and emotional support for the entire family. The post captures this by saying:

“Kapag uuwi ka galing trabaho, kakain ka na lang kasi may luto na yung asawa mo. Magbibihis ka na lang ng malinis na damit na nilabhan ng misis mo at hihiga sa malinis na kama na kakalaba lang din ng misis mo.” 

While husbands relax after a day at work, stay-at-home moms often continue their duties late into the night, caringfor the children, cleaning up, and preparing for the next day. The post continues:

“Habang nakahiga ka sa kama at naglalaro sa cellphone mo eh nandun yung misis mo, nasa lababo. Kailangan pa pala niyang hugasan yung platong kinainan niyo.”

A full-time, thankless job

But here’s the truth that everyone should know: A full-time family caregiver’s role is a full-time, thankless job. They are the ones who wake up early every morning to prepare breakfast and baon for the children to go to school and for the partner to go to work. They are the ones who drop off and pick up the kids at school. They are the ones who do the laundry and the grocery every weekend to ensure that there’s always clean clothes and food on the table. They are the ones who stay up late into the night whenever someone is sick.

“Habang ikaw humihilik na eh gising pa rin yung misis mo, binabantayan yung anak niyong full of energy parin kahit gabing-gabi na. Kahit pagod at antok na si Misis ay hindi magawang ipikit ang mga mata.”

Stay-at-home mom don’t have the luxury of a set schedule. They don’t get weekends off, sick days, or vacation leaves. They work even with a fever, constantly juggling the needs of their family. And yet, without a paycheck, this work often goes unnoticed.

Doing all these means that you, working husbands can then focus on your work entirely. You can wake up a little bit late because you know that breakfast is waiting for you and you don’t have to prepare your kids for school. You can go to work without worries because you know that your children are well-taken care of as they go to school and throughout the day. You don’t have to take a leave or worry when your children are sick because someone is nursing them back to health.

They are the pillars holding up your home.

Remember what they gave up

“Nakilala mo yang misi mo noon na nagta-trabaho o nag-aaral, naghahanap ng pwedeng ikabuhay at pagkakitaan. Pero inasawa mo eh, di ba? Nagka-anak kayo kaya lagi nang nasa bahay para alagaan at bantayan ang anak niyo. Ayaw mo rin naman kumuha ng ibang mag-aalaga sa anak mo kaya ayan siya, 24/7 nag-aalaga sa anak niyo.”

Moreover, the post emphasizes that most stay-at-home moms once had their own careers, ambitions, and goals. And most of the time, they didn’t “choose” to be confined to the house on their own. It might have been a decision both of you had a hand in–along with factors such as lack in childcare, family support, and even both of your desire to not let strangers raise your kids. This means that her shift to being a full-time caregiver for the family was one borne not just of necessity, but of love and care for the family.

So no, a paycheck does not automatically mean that you contribute more to the family. Nor does it mean that you are more valued in the family. That paycheck and your successes in your career are partly her successes too. You can focus and thrive in your work because you don’t worry about your family, thanks to her work.

It’s not just about the money

To the husbands, this is a wake-up call. Appreciate the unseen labor that your wives put in. Understand that while your contribution is financial, hers is emotional, physical, and relentless. Don’t take for granted the sacrifices she makes everyday to care for your children and keep your home running.

As the post reads, “Minsan isipin at i-appreciate mo rin yung misis mo na grabe din ang sakripisyo. Huwag mo siyang sumbatan. Hindi lang ikaw ang nagta-trabaho, hindi lang ikaw ang napapagod. Parehas kayo.”

In a healthy marriage, both partners acknowledge the value of each other and contributions. True partnership comes from mutual respect, support, and appreciation for each other’s sacrifices.

And with more than 16,000 reactions, 1,000 comments, and 10,000 shares, this post resonates with many families. It’s clear that many women feel their contributions are undervalued.

Husbands, it’s time to change that. Take a moment to acknowledge and appreciate all the work your wife puts into running the household and raising your children. Next time you come home o a clean home, a warm meal, and happy children, remember: You are not doing all this alone. Appreciate your partner–your wife. You are equals in this journey.

Read here about equal partnership and how it can make you better parents.