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Tom Rodriguez After Split With Carla Abellana: 'I'm With People Who Will Love Me Unconditionally'
  • A day after Carla Abellana broke her silence by leaving a reply to a comment on her YouTube vlog about their separation issue, her now ex-husband Tom Rodriguez released his statement through his lawyer, Atty. Popoy Caritativo.

    On June 17, Tom explained that he left the Philippines last March 13 and is now in the US with the realization that despite all his efforts, Carla had already given up on their marriage.

    To his defense, the actor said, "A lot has been said against me, but in the end, Carla and I are the only two people who know the truth." 

    He emphasizes, "It was not a perfect relationship, but we both know how much he loved each other."

    He didn't dwell into the specifics on why their marriage fell apart. But he admits he have fallen short as a partner when he lost all his money to someone who preyed on his gullibility.

    He stresses, "At no time did I ever lay a hand on Carla."

    In Carla's statement, it appeared that during their 7-year relationship, she was put in a position where she's afraid to show Tom her real emotions.

    "7 na taon po akong bawal magalit, magtampo, masaktan, mabigo, malungkot, madismaya dahil hindi po pwede. Sa dami po ng binigay ko kay Tom, wala na pong natira sa akin," said Carla.

    She added, "Makakatikim po ako kahit subukan ko pong ipaliwanag sa kanya na nasasaktan niya ako at hindi po tama ang mga ginagawa niya. Paulit-ulit ko pong pinapaalala sa kanya na hindi po ako kalaban at mabuti po ang kalooban at intensyon ko. 7 taon pong naipon sa loob ko lahat yun."


    READ ALSO: 3 Moms Speak Up Why They Stayed Despite Domestic Violence

    Tom assured that he has the strongest support system right now, which is his family in the US.

    "I am with people who will never judge, and who will only love me unconditionally."

    Tom adds, the divorce decree is final, and he wishes Carla's birthday wish be granted: to be happy.

    According to Atty. Joji Alonso through a report by PEP.ph, since Tom filed for divorce in the US, they are now both legally single, as far as the US law is concerned. 

    However, he said, Carla would need to have a foreign judgment (divorce decree) recognized before the Regional Trial Court in the Philippines.

    "Once the court recognizes the decree, the same will be annotated on their marriage contract. Therefore, she will be single again and may legally remarry."

    Tom concludes, "This will be the last you will hear from me on the matter. He stresses, he didn't want to violate the gag order issued to him and his lawyers.

    READ ALSO: According to the Law: Can my Spouse Divorce me Abroad

    In a recent vlog by Ogie Diaz, he revealed that according to his sources, the amount that Tom lost was around P24M. He adds, Carla is aware of this. This information remains to be verified, and Tom and Carla are yet to speak about this isuse.

    How to heal after separation

    While a turning point in one's life like separation can take a toll on one's health and well-being, here are some tips to start the healing process:

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    1. Stop blaming yourself

    According to Marriage.com, finding peace is the first step towards healing. "When two partners end the relationship, both carry some responsibility for its ending." Remember that a failed marriage doesn't make one a failure. 

    2. Take time to grieve

    If you need to cry, then do so. Suppressing your emotions can lead to more harm than good.

    READ ALSO: You Don't Have To Hide From Your Child Every Time You Need To Cry. This Is Why

    3. Focus on yourself

    Enjoy spending time with yourself. Go back to doing the things that bring joy and focus on that.

    4. Know the law

    In a previous Smart Parenting article, family psychologist and author Michele Alignay, Ph.D, RPsy, RGC said, when there is mental, emotional, or physical abuse, Republic Act 9262 or the Anti-Violence Against Women and Children Act can provide you protection so that you don’t have to be the party that leaves home.

    5. When you are ready, talk about it 

    Maybe it would take time before you can finally be comfortable to talk about it, but remember that if you need to, you can confide to your support system, whether your family or some trusted friends.

    If you need to just vent out something that's in your chest, over 80,000 parents in the Smart Parenting Village are ready to listen and to comfort you. You can start by posting an #SPConfessions anonymously just so you can share the load.

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