‘Kailangan Nila Kaming Pagkatiwalaan Sa Mga Decisions Namin,’ Amy Perez On In-Laws’ Pangingialam

“Hanggang kelan ka makikinig at susunod sa sinasabi ng magulang mo… Kelan mahihinto yung pangigialam mo sa desisyon ng anak?"

Vice Ganda recently posed this question to his co-host, Amy Perez, during one of It’s Showtime’s segments.

The hosts were discussing the extent to which parents can influence their adult children, even when they are in relationships or married, and how this can sometimes negatively impact those relationships.

“Kasi, meron talagang magulang na simula palang hindi na nila bet,” he added, referring to instances when parents express their dislike for their child’s partner.

“Nagsusumbong ako sa mother-in-law ko”

Amy’s initial response focuses on offering advice to couples when facing misunderstandings. She said, “Nung nag-asawa na ako, natutunan ko na kapag nag-aaway kaming mag-asawa, hindi ako nagsusumbong sa mama ko. Nagsusumbong ako sa mother-in-law ko, kasi siya ang nanay ng asawa ko. So walang ibang nakakakilala sa asawa ko kung hindi yung nanay niya, so siya yung makakatulong sa akin kapag may problema ako sa asawa ko.”

Amy also explained why it might be a bad idea to share your relationship issues with your own parents, “Kasi, kapag sinumbong ko iyun sa nanay ko, bati na kami ng asawa ko, baka sa susunod na pumunta yung asawa ko sa bahay ng mama ko, eh baka hindi niya pagsilbihan, batuhin niya ng plato, hindi ba? Ganon ang mangyayari, kasi syempre galit siya kasi na-hurt yung anak niya eh, hindi ba? So it’s best, kahit boyfriend-girlfriend, it’s best that you tell yung mga concerns at yung problems mo doon sa jowa mo sa parents nung jowa mo.”

Vice then asked what should the couple do if their parents dislike their partner or prefer someone else.

Amy emphasized having good communication and teamwork in such instances, saying, “Need ng couple to work together as a team, na sabihin mo dun sa partner mo na, ‘I feel na hindi ako gusto ng mommy mo, but since I love you, I will make this work. Pero kailangan tulungan mo ako. Tulungan tayong dalawa. Kasi mas makikilala ako ng parents mo through you.’”

Desisyon mo dapat

When it comes to parents influencing their married kids’ decisions, Amy’s answer revolves around trust and honor. She said, “Ako, I honor my parents, si Carlo, hinohonor ko din parents niya.

“Pero dumating kami sa punto na we have to prove to them that kailangan nila kaming pagkatiwalaan sa mga decisions na ginagawa namin bilang magulang na sa mga anak namin. We ask them, anong opinion niyo, tapos sasabihin nila sa amin, but at the end, kami pa din yung nagdedesisyon, pero hino-honor namin ang mga magulang namin.”

Vice agreed with this, and said, “At the end, dapat desisyon mo, hindi nila desisyon. Maaari kang makinig, pero siguro desisyon mo pa din dapat. Kasi hindi mo pwede, kapag nagka-problema, hindi mo pwede sabihin, ‘Eh kasi, iyun ang sabi ng magulang ko eh.’ Desisyon mo dapat.”

To learn more about dealing with in-laws, check out these links:

• Difficult In-Laws? Be Kind and Trust Yourself, Says This Celeb Mom
• Regine Velasquez On Dealing With In-Laws: Ang Importante Kayong Mag-asawa
• In-Laws 101: The Basics of Dealing with your Spouses Family
• How to Deal with Opinionated In-Laws