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Two Dads Get Candid About Life After Their Wives' Miscarriages
PHOTO BY courtesy of Henry Chua, Charles Salutan
  • Sitti, Mariel, Nadine. These are just some of the celebrities who have been vocal about their journey in battling a condition known as reproductive-immune disorders or RID. It is a condition that can be loosely defined as the body rejecting one's pregnancy.

    Every day, more and more women are diagnosed with RID. In 2013 when I lost my second pregnancy, I found the APAS Support Group and there were only less than 2,000 members. Six years later, the number has grown exponentially and more and more couples are aware of the condition. There are two sides to this: we have achieved our goal in promoting awareness about the condition by leaps and bounds. On the down side, the numbers also represent the many couples who suffer through tremendous heartaches losing their babies.

    Women are plagued by this condition but behind the scenes, manly hearts suffer in silence as well. How do our husbands share our challenging journey?

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    Charles Salutan's story came all the way from Davao. Charles and his wife, Riza, went through two losses as well before they were able to hold their rainbow sons, Tory and Coco. When asked how Charles dealt with his wife's miscarriages, he said, "It was the most difficult thing we had to go through. It was harder on my wife than it was for me. We overcame the grief with God's help through strong family and spiritual support groups who were with us all throughout the journey."

    Charles and his wife Riza went through a long and rocky journey before they had their two babies.
    PHOTO BY courtesy of Charles Salutan

    "I was there in almost all the doctor's visits and treatment sessions (IVIG). After each visit, we would eat out to satisfy her cravings since her condition does not give her much time to go out of the house. Most importantly, I would pray for a safe pregnancy."

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    Asked what his biggest challenge was, Charles quipped, "The financial challenge was the greatest since treatments and medicines are not cheap. I never felt any fear or apprehension regarding the outcome of all our pregnancies as I know that God is in control. Things happen for a reason that whatever may happen, we will overcome. The only thing I can do is make sure she gets all the treatments on time and let God do the rest."

    Most men are not so vocal about their spirituality and faith. But the challenge of having a baby brings couples near to God, as can be seen in the journey of Henry Chua.

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    Henry's face is bright with joy as he finally cradles his baby for the first time!
    PHOTO BY courtesy of Henry Chua

    Henry's and his wife's journey towards their rainbow baby, Amare Henderson, was a long one. They had to endure the pain of four miscarriages, three of them were via in vitro fertilization (IVF). On their last try for IVF, the husband and wife prepared their mind and heart for what was their last chance.

    Henry recalled, "This time, we decided to try ibang OB and immunologist, and regardless kung mahal ang mga professional fee nila, dun na kami pumunta sa alam namin na the best ob and immunologist. This time, we put in all the efforts: nag-exercise kami, healthy diet, acupunctures, bawal mapuyat, sobrang dinisiplina namin yun lifestyle namin at the same time, yun mindset namin is no expectation. We just have to what we have to and trust the process then leave it all to God."

    Their last embryo is now a healthy and energetic 11-month old baby boy named Amare.

    Henry reflected, "Through the darkest times that we had, I made sure na maparamdam ko kay wife na sinusuportahan ko sya and whatever decision she made ay all out support ako." 
    PHOTO BY courtesy of Henry Chua

    Click here for everything you need to know about APAS.

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