Heartbreaking Childhood Memories Parents Won't Pass On To Their Kids

Trigger Warning: This article discusses topics related to childhood trauma, abuse, and sensitive experiences. Reader discretion is advised.

"Anong childhood experiences niyo na ayaw niyong maulit sa kids niyo?"

This was a question posed by Smart Parenting to its Facebook group, Smart Parenting Village, recently. Serving as a safe space for over 105K parent members, the comment section became an emotional outpouring due to the heart-wrenching stories shared. 

They say that today's generation of parents might be overdoing it—we go the extra mile to be present in our kids' milestones and school activities, take them to Disneyland even though they're too young to remember, and tell them that they are loved, and they can be whoever they want to be. 

Yes, millennial parents are raising their children differently, responding to how they were raised by their own parents. We can't blame them, because, going through our childhood memories we don't want to pass on to our kids, we didn't have it easy. 

Here are the heartbreaking childhood experiences that today's parents vow will not let their kids to go through.

5 Childhood experiences parents don't want to pass on to their kids

1. Having absent parents

Among the top comments that received the most reactions was being left with relatives or caregivers because both parents are working. Most of the parents say that they strive to be present with their kids even if it would cost them their jobs.

"Maiwan kung kani-kanino habang nagtatrabaho ang magulang ko. Hindi kasi natin alam kung ano bang nararanasan nila or pakiramdam nila tuwing naiiwan sila sa ibang tao. Kung safe ba sila or hindi. Kahit na sa kamag-anak pa iwan, minsan kamag-anak pa yung gumagawa ng hindi maganda sa sarili nilang kapamilya.

"Kaya ako nag-aalaga sa mga anak ko ngayon. Hangga't maari, palagi akong andyan sa tabi nila. Gusto kong maramdaman nila na safe sila. Kahit na hindi na muna ako makapag-trabaho basta maalagaan ko sila." - Mommy Maica

"Paalagaan sa ibang kamag-anak dahil walang pangarap ang sariling magulang para sa aming magkakapatid." —Mommy Nikka

"'Yung PTA (Parents-Teachers Association meeting) niyo sa classroom pero ikaw yung mag-aatend, from elementary to high school." - Mommy Charie

"'Yung wala man lang present na parents or family sa mga activities and events sa school, especially nung elementary. Super active ko pa naman sumali lalo na sa mga sayaw noon. Hay." - Mommy Ela

"Traumatic yung masasaktan ka at yung kapatid mo ng mismong kamag-anak. Walang kang ibang choice kasi di naman kami pinanganak na mayaman, kailangan mag work both parents as OFW and policeman. Nasampal, hinampas, at pinagsalitaan ng masasakit na salita dahil lang sa maliliit na maling nagawa. Kaya sobrang takot ako iwan yung anak ko sa kahit na sino." - Mommy Lira

"Paalagaan sa ibang kamag-anak dahil walang pangarap ang sariling magulang para sa aming magkakapatid." - Mommy Nikka

"Naiiwan mag-isa sa bahay as early as 5 years old dahil working ang single parent." - Mommy Lia

2. Lacking money and resources

A lot of parents said that they experience poverty growing up, and they are doing their best to provide for their kids today.

"Hindi makasama sa mga field trip ng school dahil walang budget." - Daddy Cezar

Ayokong maranasan nilang mangutang sa tindahan tapos hihindian dahil puno na yung listahan." —Mommy Ella

"Hindi makakasama sa fieldtrip at JS Prom. Kasi never na mauulit yun pagtanda. Kaya gagawan at gagawan ko ng paraan para lahat yan makasama mga anak ko." - Mommy Niña 

"'Yung lumiliban sa school dahil mag-aalaga ng kapatid na bunso. Mag-uulam ng nilagang itlog, hati kami sa isa. Hindi makasali sa mga school activities dahil walang gagamiting damit o costumes. Salat sa maraming bagay sa kahirapan ng buhay." - Mommy Jennifer

"'Yung mangutang sa tindahan ng biscuits, sabong panlaba at panligo, at mga delata. Never kong ipaparanas sa kanila yun kaya ang number one goal ko sa bahay namin, bawal na bawal kaming mawalan ng stocks, lalo na food ng mga bata. Ayokong maranasan nilang mangutang sa tindahan tapos hihindian dahil puno na yung listahan." - Mommy Ella

"Magutom kasi walang baon. Makatulog sa klase kasi puyat sa night job. Maglakad ng malayo kasi walang pamasahe. Maghirap." - Mommy Cherry

"'Yung kailangan ko pa magbiyahe ng pedicab para lang magkabaon sa school. Minsan maghanap ng mga bakal o kalakal para maibenta." - Daddy Ayban

"Promissory note during exams. 'Yung pipila ka sa cashier and instead na ibibigay mo cash, love letter galing sa magulang, tapos ituturo ka ng cashier na pumunta sa loob ng Office of the Dean/Registrar para makiusap. Awa ng Diyos never naranasan ng mga anak ko yun." - Mommy Anthea

"'Yung ni tinapay sasabihin na walang pambili. Kaya ngayon ini-i-spoil ko ang anak ko sa pagkain." - Mommy Adz

3. Abuse

It was heartbreaking to read comments that some of the parents experienced abuse growing up, from the hands of their own relatives. They swear to never let their kids experience this.

"Getting sexually abused by a family member. Yung hindi makapag-sabi kahit kanino kasi parang there was no one you can trust, at parang walang nandiyan for you to back you up." - Mommy Vee

"Maabuso ng ibang tao kasi walang magulang sa tabi." - Mommy Evelyn

"Any kind of assault specially sexual assault kasi it will consume everything on you. It takes years or decade to heal, it wasn’t easy at all since I never asked for help, and it will never be forgotten. Kaya siguro takot ako magkaroon ng baby girl because of it. Or kaya siguro baby boy binigay sa akin ni Lord. To all the parents na may anak na babae, protect them at all cost, please. One touch can change their lives forever." - Mommy Jon

"Pinapalo at pinapahiya sa kalsada." - Mommy Nariza

"Maabuso ng ibang tao kasi walang magulang sa tabi." - Mommy Evelyn

4. Bullying

A lot of parents also shared that they experienced bullying, not only in school, but at home, and hope that their kids will never go through it. 

"'Yung pagtatawanan mismo yung course na gusto mong kunin sana." - Mommy Jam

"Comparing to other kids, lalo sa relatives." —Mommy Ludee

"Binu-bully kasi mataba. Kaso mana sa akin anak ko. Hopefully pagpasok niya ng Kinder, hindi siya ma-bully." - Mommy Monica

"'Yung sariling kamag-anak sasabihan kang maitim at pagkakaitan ng sunscreen kasi maitim na nga daw. - Mommy Alyssa

"Ma-compare sa ibang cousins lalo dun sa mga mas nag-eexcel kasi magkaklase kami. Lalong nakakawalang gana mag-aral." - Mommy Laksmi

"Comparing to other kids, lalo sa relatives. It's degrading the self esteem." - Mommy Ludee

"Ma-bully sa school dahil palaging walang baon at school supplies 'di tulad ng sa mga kaklase." - Mommy Jovy

"Rigorous study habits. Need maging top always. My parents have valid reasons, pero it’s very exhausting. Pagdating ng college, wala na akong gana at all. The moment my eldest child stepped foot at school, I let him be na, okay lang, no pressure at all as long as merong natutunan sa school." - Mommy Mara

5. Having a broken family

Probably one of the most heartbreaking responses were from those who grew up in dysfunctional families. While some mentioned working hard on their marriages to ensure their children wouldn't endure the same, others found themselves unable to break the cycle.

"Broken family. 'Yung pinapili kaming magkapatid kung kanino kami sasama: kay mama ba o papa." - Daddy John

'Yung mga lolo/lola, tita/tito, mama ko, etc. ay may mga anak pala sa labas. Masakit sobra sa puso 'yung may mga ganyang lihim at rebelasyon sa generations namin. Kaya sabi ko sa sarili ko, never again. I'll break that cycle." - Mommy Patricia

I trust our generation, striving to be mindful parents, will rewrite the narrative for our children. By acknowledging our past hardships and creating safer, nurturing environments, we break the cycle of intergenerational trauma.

Let's build a future where our children feel loved, supported, and empowered to thrive, unburdened by our past scars. Together, let's raise happy and healthy families.