‘Hindi Ako Binabati Ng Husband Ko ‘Pag Mother’s Day, Ang Lungkot’

A day before Mother’s Day, Smart Parenting Village, a parenting community of 105,000 plus Filipino parents, an anonymous post of a mom looking for fellow mothers in a similar situation caught the members’ eye. She asks if there are other moms whose husbands do not greet them “Happy Mother’s Day”

Anonymous mom asks, “Meron ba kayong husband na hindi nag gi-greet or hindi big deal ang Mother’s Day? Hay ang lungkot pala ng ganun. Nasanay kasi ako sa bahay namin na laging cinecelebrate at gini-greet ang Mama ko kapag Mother’s Day. Ang lungkot pala and ang sakit sa pakiramdam na hindi ko nafefeel na mahalaga yung day na yun para sa asawa ko.”

The post was short and she did not provide too much context, but it was enough for fellow parents to empathize with her.

'Tell him na importante sayo. Husband ko di rin ma-celebrate ng ganiyan. So sinasabi ko. Pinapaalala ko nalang na malapit na para mag-prepare na siya.' -Smart Parenting Villager mom

Husbands not greeting their wives on Mother’s Day

Fellow moms rushed to greet Anonymous Mom “Happy Mother’s Day!” since it was obvious that she desired to be recognized. Some could not help but share that they are in the same situation.

“Alam mo Ma, ‘yung husband ko ganiyan before. Parang ‘yung mahalaga sa akin, wala lang sa kanya. Sa paglipas ng panahon ng pagsasama namin, madaming nag-bago in a positive way. Pinapakita ko lang sa kanya yung pagmamahal na gusto ko ibigay, at sana ibalik din niya sakin. Nung pareho namin natutunan yung language of love, dun namin mas nakilala sarili namin at yun ang kailangan namin punan araw araw.

She advises anonymous mom to learn about love languages. “Alamin mo ‘yung language of love niya at sana magkaroon siya ng interest na pagtuunan ang sa ‘yo. Happy Mother's Day, Mommy!”

Another mom said she extended her understanding towards her husband, trying to consider that perhaps he is not the type to be showy of his love and appreciation.

“Ako sanay na rin na hindi binabati or minsan i-remind ko pa siya, pero it's okay. I understand na siguro hindi lang talaga showy... Ang importante sakin he is a good provider and a good husband and father sa amin ng anak ko. Talk to him siguro he appreciates you naman iba lang siguro siya ng way.”

Another mom shared similar sentiments of being considerate of her husband’s upbringing.

“Depende po ata talaga sa background. If hindi naman na-uso sa lugar nila mag-celebrate ng ganun, maninibago din sila na may ganun pala. Asawa ko din ganyan. Gini-greet niya naman ako pero walang big celebration or anything. Sa side ko naman ng family gustong-gusto mag celebrate ng events, so doon na lang ako nag-cecelebrate din.”

Celebrate yourself, mom!

A number of moms encouraged anonymous mom to initiate her own Mother’s Day celebration.

“Ikaw nalang mag-start or initiate na i-celebrate ang Mother’s Day, Mommy. Don’t stress yourself. May mga lalaki talaga na hindi ganun ka-sensitive sa mga mahahalagang occasions sa buhay natin.”

Another mom advised for anonymous mom to be vocal about what she wants, and if he still doesn’t make any effort, then that’s when she can get upset.

“Tell him na importante sayo. Husband ko di rin ma-celebrate ng ganiyan. So sinasabi ko. Going 10 years married na kami, and ever since talaga siya nag-e-effort. Nung una sinasabi ko mismo sa kanya ano gusto ko. Ngayon, kahit papaano alam na niya. Pinapaalala ko nalang na malapit na para mag-prepare na siya.”

This commenter goes on to explain that she reminds her husband when special occasions such as Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, birthdays, anniversaries, and Christmas are around the corner. “Papaalala ko one month before, two weeks before, one week before.”

She adds, “Kasi kung i-e-expect ko na automatic may gagawin siya, ma-di-disappoint lang ako. Kaya better to communicate and be vocal about your needs. Pag vocal ka na at wala parin, ‘yun dun ka na mainis o magalit.”

It’s the same sentiments Smart Parenting had for mothers this year.

Give him a dose of his own medicine

Another mom shared she’s now used to her husband’s lack of Mother’s Day greeting, teasing that Father’s Day is up next—give him a dose of his own medicine.

“Siguro sanayan yan para di na masakit, tapos reciprocate na lang. If they don't make you feel special or don't celebrate your day, do the same. Ikaw na lang gumawa ng alam mong ikaliligaya mo,” a commenter said.

“‘Di ka nag-iisa, kaya ‘wag ka na sad. Malapit naman na ang Father’s Day. Ganti-ganti din. Joke! Happy Mother’s Day to us.”

One mom shared that she redirects her attention to her kids’ greetings. “Ako, sanay na ako sa LIP (live-in partner) ko. Ngayon mga anak ko na bumabati sa akin. ‘Yung isa namitas pa ng bulaklak ng kapit-bahay bago binigay sakin at binati ako ng "Ma, Happy Mother’s Day."

Another Smart Parenting Village member shared another perspective. “Not a big deal. Siguro dahil iniisip niya hindi ka naman niya nanay, ok lang ‘di mag effort at bumati. As long as mga anak natin ang bumabati at nag-e-effort during Mother's Day, sapat na. Pero kung other occasions like anniversary etc., wala pa din, something is wrong talaga.”

Want to improve your communication skills? Read this article.