Isabelle Daza Didn’t Want To Pass Down Low Self-Esteem To Sons, Wants Kids To Have High EQ

Becoming a parent is often equated to receiving unsolicited advice, and for Isabelle Daza, actress, host, entrepreneur and mom of two boys, motherhood also came with questions about her self-worth.

During the latest episode of Toni Gonzaga’s vlog Toni Talks, Isabelle looked back on her first two months as a mom and how she struggled with postpartum depression. She gained 70 pounds during her first pregnancy and as a celebrity, found herself on the receiving end of naysayers who said her career was over. 

“I just couldn’t look at myself in the mirror,” she said. Isabelle also asked herself, “Babalik ba ako? Am I going to have a career after this? Lagi silang ganiyan–‘Ay, mommy ka na. Wala ka nang career. Hindi ka na magiging sexy,’ she said. 

It didn’t help that when she was looking at her friends’ activities, they were busy traveling, closing endorsement deals, and she had just entered motherhood.

It was at that point that Isabelle sought professional help and received her therapist’s advice to learn to love herself.

She said today, love yourself has becoming easier to understand to the point of being used loosely. But what her therapist meant was “You have to know that you are enough so that your son will know that he is enough.

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“Because if you look at yourself in the mirror, ‘I have big legs,’ ‘I have that,’… when your son does that he will have that same self-esteem. And you don’t want to pass it down to them, Isabelle said about her therapist’s lessons.

Since then she’s started saying affirmations. But the first time her therapist suggested it, Isabelle was hesitant. ‘Sabi ko, ‘I’m not going to say that.’ Talagang nagtatalo kami. I felt so silly talaga. Her affirmations are: I am beautiful. I am enough.

And to this day, Isabelle uses the same affirmations. To the point that her husband Adrien would sometimes affirm her affirmations–‘Yeah, you’re beautiful–when he hears her speaking to herself in the mirror. Even while brushing his teeth.

“When you pull yourself down, at marami kang sinasabi, ‘Di ko naman kaya ‘to’, that’s what creates you, Isabelle said.

The kids’ emotional intelligence is her priority

When Toni asked Isabelle what she wants to make sure to teach her kids, she first answers manners. “To have manners, try to say please and thank you. Respecting other people,” Isabelle said.

She explains that her oldest son Baltie, who is now four years old, is a very emotional child. And she embraces it and wants to give him a safe space to feel his feelings without judgment.

“Kasi there’s a study na boys especially, when they’re growing up and they’re told not to cry, not to show their emotions, pag lake na nila, hindi na sila in touch,” she explained.

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“Kaya hindi expressing ang boys eh,” Toni added.

Isabelle, who has experience has a preschool teacher said, “Crying as a child is related to shame and weakness. In-e-encourage ko siya, I create a safe space for them.

A safe space means that her children are allowed to express their feelings but in the end, they still need to follow what their parents Isabelle and Adrien have set.

She gives an example: if she sets their bedtime but they don’t want to go to sleep. “I’ll allow him to express that he doesn’t want to sleep, but in the end he has to sleep. But he can show me he doesn’t want to.

Isabelle says this practice is allowing them freedom within the boundaries parents have set, a concept she learned from parenting educator Janet Lansbury.

“I want them to develop a positive relationship with their emotions. I want them to have a high emotional quotient. Because I think these are skills needed to cope when they get older.

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Her mother Gloria Diaz’s parenting continues to make an impact on Isabelle’s parenting choices today, one of which is allowing Baltie to wear a dress when he wants to.

“He loves Elsa. Everybody was so disturbed,” she said. “Alam mo, when I was four, I wanted to be a cowboy. Lalaki talaga. My mom allowed me.

Isabelle says it’s also her mom who taught her how important it is to save money, saying it’s not how much one earns that matters. What matters is how much one saves.

She also didn’t feel she was “mayaman” when she was growing up with her “traditional” mom. But she understands that she is in a privileged position because her mom’s name has opened doors for her.

Her mom reminds her however, “You have to prove yourself and make your own mark.” With her style of parenting inspiring today’s families and her mental health advocacy alone, it’s safe to say Isabelle is making a mark that’s all her own.

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