Don't Just Focus On IQ. Why Emotional Intelligence Is Also Important For Future Success

In order to succeed in life, kids need to increase and develop their intelligence. However, reading books or gaining academic excellence, which translates to a high intelligence quotient (IQ), is not the only way to achieve success. It also involves one's emotional intelligence, also known as emotional quotient (EQ). 

This was the topic discussed in the first episode of the podcast series, Raising IQ & EQ-Ready Kids, hosted by Angel Jacob with celebrity guests Rica Peralejo and her husband, Joseph Bonifacio. There, they tackled how to nurture children's EQ in a constantly changing world.

What is emotional quotient?

In a Berkeley article, Director Marc Brackett of Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence described EQ as the 'ability to identify your feelings and emotional responses, regulate them, and empathize with others' feelings.'

Dr. Laura Markham, a psychologist and parenting expert, says in an article on Aha! Parenting that “emotional intelligence will be a crucial factor throughout your child’s life in his or her eventual academic and career success.”

Tips for developing children's emotional intelligence

In the podcast, Rica, who has been homeschooling her kids, talked about the importance of EQ.
"'Yung IQ, EQ... these come from studies eh. Na kailangan natin 'to sa buhay natin. Kailangan natin 'yung both knowledge, information, the logical part. Also, at the same time 'I need socialization, I need to feel,'" Rica said.

Rica shared that she enrolled her eldest son in an online soccer class. She said that although it's just a virtual class, it still helps her kid socialize and improve his EQ.

"How will soccer work through a screen?...A few weeks in, sabi ko 'Ang galing ha.' Because he enjoys. It's just the mere talking and seeing other people even if it's through a screen... It's very good for him," the actress recounts.

Here are some more of their tips to help nurture a child's EQ.

1. Be a good example

Before anything else, you should work on your IQ and EQ first. Remember that your emotional development can also help your child's growth.

Kids are observant, so they will quickly pick up how their parents react to certain things. When you are being honest with your own feelings, your children will learn that other people are finite and have feelings as well.

2. Know your child

Knowing your child's age and which stage of development he is going through is not enough. It would help if you also try to understand his way of thinking, personal preferences, surroundings, and other things involving him. This way, you can build a good relationship and get to know how you should talk and explain things to him. 

3. Give them alternatives

It's always challenging for parents not to give in to their child's requests. But learning how to say "no" is a crucial part of parenting.

If you don't want to say it outright, the best thing to do is offer alternatives. For example, give picky eaters a choice between two vegetables, so they feel empowered. If they want to do something but you cannot allow them, think of an alternative that is associated with a good experience so they would still like to choose it.  

4. Avoid negativity

It's easy to feel annoyed whenever your kids throw a tantrum. But tantrums are a normal part of development and it will likely happen from time to time. Instead of letting it get the best of you, listen to your child and encourage them to express themselves, including their feelings of anger and frustration.

5. Help them verbalize their emotions

When your kids feel frustrated, this feeling could be overwhelming for them. Communicate patiently and offer a safe space where he can express his feelings. Then, help him address those feelings.

Ask him, "Are you angry?", "Are you frustrated?", "Are you hating on someone or anything?" This will help you and your child make sense of what he's going through.

6. Let them understand you

It is common for parents to think that they should always appear strong in front of their children. But exhibiting your EQ as a parent can be a learning curve for your child.

If you need quiet time or rest, explain to him and help him understand that you are tired so you can't play right now. This will help them grasp the concept of empathy.

7. Respect their feelings

A part of a child's EQ development is letting them refuse or say "no" to certain things. Acknowledging their feelings helps them know that their preferences and insights are respected. It will also help if you try asking them what they want to do when they are frustrated or sad, so you could help them regulate their emotions.

Raising IQ & EQ-Ready Kids is a podcast series for parents by parents. Listen to the podcast here and watch out for more episodes on Spotify.

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