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What is it like to raise eight kids in this day and age? Joel Cruz, entrepreneur revealed that as most would imagine, it’s not easy. “Mahirap talaga. Pag nag-s-swimming kami, bilang ako ng bilang nung walo kasi baka mamaya wala na yung isa, nalulunod na, he said. And that’s just a picture of what it’s like when they’re having fun.
As with all kids, arguing can take place when they’re playing too and Joel said he makes sure to talk to his kids especially when they’re fighting. "Alam mo may meeting kami palagi kapag may problema sila, para kaming kompanya. Kahit bata ang mga kausap, nagmi-meeting kami para nagkakaintindihan ang lahat. Sanay sila na may meeting kami at nag-uusap kami lahat para maayos namin agad ang problema, he said.
Does he take sides? Joel tries to stay as neutral as possible but makes sure to explain to his child who was in the wrong why his actions were wrong. “Sa bata na mali, ipinapaliwanag ko talaga yung mali at kung bakit mali yun.
He adds, "Sa magulang ko noon parang papaluin ka na lang agad na hindi mo minsan maintindihan, hindi naipaliwanag sa iyo. Ito ang challenge sa akin ngayon bilang ama na ipinapaliwanag ko sa mga anak ko mabuti ano ang pagkakamali mo, bakit hindi mo na dapat gawin ito, huwag mo na dapat uulitin ito o magpasensiya ka.
“Yun ang maganda sa akin. Ngayon naipapaliwanag ko sa mga anak ko para matuwid nila ang mga pagkakamali nila. Joel explained in the same TeleRadyo interview on June 15, 2023 that his undergraduate degree in psychology helps him understand his children and to talk to them.
RELATED: Joel Cruz Writes to His Kids: 'Filipino Values and Traditions Should Be Within Your Heart'
How he keeps his kids grounded and grateful
Joel acknowledges that his children are fortunate and experience a number of good opportunities such as traveling. He makes sure to teach them to value what they have by reminding them that it’s a fruit of his hard work.
"Una, sabi ko don't waste daddy's money. So kapag kumakain sila, gusto ko ay maubos nila ang pagkain nila at huwag sila silang magsasayang, he said.
Just like most parents, Joel sets a budget for his children to follow when they buy from the toy store. And most importantly, that not every visit to the toy store means they can buy something for themselves.
RELATED: Raise a Child Who Will Grow Up Without the 'Bili Mo 'Ko' Attitude
“Kung may binibili silang toys ay binibigyan ko lang sila ng budget, kunwari not to exceed P100 or P500. ...Behave sila kapag sinabi ko na this is not the time for buying toys. So alam nila 'yon. Pupunta lang kami sa toy section para umikot sila, maglaro sila, pero pagkatapos ng pag-iikot namin paglalaro nila, wala kaming binili kahit isa, he said.
Joel also makes them share the food they order when their family eats out. “Kunwari bibili kami ng isang ramen para sa dalawa o tatlong bata 'yon. Tapos pinapaubos ko sa kanila at sinasbi ko na mahirap din kasi ang magtrabaho. Nakita niyo kung paano ako magtrabaho minsan wala akong masyadong time sa niyo, 'yun 'yon, nagtatrabaho ako kaya huwag niyong sayangin ang pera na kinikita ko.
He adds, “Ganun ako magpalaki sa kanila. Alam nila na blessed sila kasi ang daming travels na nangyayari. Sabi ko i-value nila ang ginagawa ko na 'yon kasi hanggang ngayon maayos pa ang buhay, kasi 'di mo kasi alam ang pwedeng mangyari sa kinabukasan,
“Yung role ko bilang parent, yung alamin ang kanilang mga personalidad at paano ako mag-b-blend in sa personalidad nila. At sila rin, kasi pag may interaksyon sila sa isa't isa, kailangan mag-blend in din sila. So dapat maganda yung pakikisama nila, yung rapport nila,” he says about raising eight kids.
Joel, who had his children via surrogacy and in-vitro fertilization says he is not saying no to adding more kids. He may just have to try in a different country like Singapore, India, or the US, because the agency he used in Russia is no longer operational.
Read this story about a father whose heart breaks because his son with autism has no playmates.
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