4 Kids, 4 And Under: Mom Says,'Kinakaya At Kakayanin'

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Being a mother of four is a unique experience that offers immense rewards but also presents a number of challenges that can test one's patience, energy, and emotional resilience. But being a mother of four kids aged 4 and under–well, that’s definitely another story. Managing the varying needs, emotions, and developmental stages of four young children requires an extraordinary level of dedication and multitasking.

Meet Mommy Jasmin Peredo, 26, also known as Twinmom PH on TikTok, who leads a brood of 4 young kids: Jacob (4), Jamie (3), Janelle and Jamila (twins turning 2). 

Could have been two pairs of twins

Jacob was supposed to have a twin, but Jasmin said on the day of her congenital anomaly scan on her 6th month, they found the other sac empty. Her pregnancy was considered high-risk at the time because the empty sac can pose a lot of threats against Jacob’s life and limbs. When Jacob was 6 months old, Jasmin found out that she was pregnant again, this time with Jamie. When they became toddlers, people would often mistake them for twins. On her third pregnancy, she was expecting a single baby because that’s what the transvaginal ultrasound captured–until she and her husband received the biggest shock of their lives according to, again, congenital anomaly scan: they've got twins!

Fast forward to today: terrible twos, terrifying 3s, freaking fours–name it, she has it! Here's a closer look at the joys and struggles of being a mother of four, and how Jasmin tries to keep everything balanced (with an emphasis on the word, “tries”).

‘Kinakaya, kakayanin’: A day in a life of a busy household

One of the greatest rewards of having four children is the overwhelming amount of love and joy in the home. Jasmin’s mother died when she was 10 or 11 years old and since then, she’s been switching from one home to another and has lived separately from her siblings. “Nagkawatak-watak na po talaga kami,” she recalls. When she became an adult, she would often come home to an empty nest and would be reminded how lonely and cold it was.

Now with a full house, their abode is filled with constant laughter (and bickering), dancing, and singing with Ms. Rachel, a YouTuber and educator who is extremely popular with very young kids. Their day starts at 8 in the morning, where Jasmin gives the kids a bath, lets them have their breakfast, joins them for playtime and cleans the house while Ms. Rachel keeps the living room under control. They would have snacks and playtime afterwards, and soon enough, it’s time for lunch. Jasmin prepares lunch and later puts the twins to sleep for their afternoon nap. She would continue cleaning the house and when husband is ready to take care of the kids, she’ll do her daily workout. After dinner, she’ll clean and wash the bottles then prepare their milk for bedtime.

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A post shared by Jasmin Pactoranan Peredo (@twinmomph)

Nights are for moments of connection that create a special bond between Jasmin and her children. She would love to read to them but recently, the kids tore their storybooks apart, and she’s yet to buy a new set. Keeping the energy subdued at night is a challenge–it typically winds down to around 10 in the evening before all four would finally reach 'La-La land.'

This is the picture of their life in a carousel. Jasmin recalls, “Dati mag-isa lang ako umuuwi galing work, walang handang pagkain, walang kausap. Sabi ko talaga Lord, ayoko na mag-isa. Ngayon binigyan ako, hindi lang isa, apat pa!”

 “'Di ko talaga alam kung pagiging Nanay pa ba ginagampanan ko, madalas kasi parang nagiging referee nalang talaga ko.” - Mommy Jasmin

Daily challenges of a mom to 4 kids aged 4 and under

Along with the joys come practical challenges. The daily logistics of managing a young family can be overwhelming. From getting ready for the day, including meal preparations, to handling and completing household chores: the workload is just immense. In Jasmin’s household, there’s no kid that you can ask to 'do this and that,' since they’re all very young. Structure, time management, and patience are essential for mothers like her who navigate their daily routines depending on how one kid feels for the day.

Giving due attention. With their age comes the attachment phase, where kids constantly seek her attention, and no matter how difficult, she doesn’t want any of her kids to perceive any form of favoritism.

Illness is not the only thing that’s contagious–’sabay sabay silang umiyak’. It is common in their household that if one catches a cough or a cold, the rest of the brood gets the virus, too. But another challenging situation is when they cry in unison. This needs a lot of patience and self-control. To which in one of her TikTok reels, she captions, “Di ko talaga alam kung pagiging Nanay pa ba ginagampanan ko, madalas kasi parang nagiging referee nalang talaga ko.”

‘Kapag kakain sa labas, sobrang gulo.’ Another challenge is when the family goes out for a day at the mall, it’s hard to keep the kids seated for a meal–unless there’s a high chair for the twins. Or, even before they leave the house, just when everyone’s ready to go–one or two of the kids have gone for number 2 (pooped!). Even the preparation itself is tasking that one netizen commented on one of her TikTok reels, “'Yung di ka pa umaalis, pagod ka na.”

Finances. With the twins, expenses are almost always doubled–make that times two with additional two more kids. But Jasmin is proud to share that a lot of people come to their help even without their asking–relatives would sometimes buy them baby needs or send e-money. Their GP would often give discounted routine check ups and no longer charge the twins, for example. They also get their vaccines from local health center units so they don’t need to pay for the vaccines. They are also happy to receive free diapers, milk, wipes and other baby essentials for creating content on TikTok.

"So, sa mga dads, alagaan n’yo po ang mga asawa n’yo buntis pa lang, samahan nyo po sila sa monthly checkup, paglabas po ni baby full support din po, tulungan n’yo po sila sa pag aalaga. Naramdaman ko po na meron talaga akong katuwang, na binigyan ako ni Lord ng asawa na hindi ipaparamdam na hindi ako kamahal-mahal."

- Mommy Jasmin reminds all dads 

The Power of Support System

The emotional ups and downs of motherhood are amplified with four children. Mothers may feel pulled in different directions, trying to meet each child’s unique needs while maintaining harmony in the home. Physical demands, such as the exhaustion from caring for young children and managing pregnancies, not to mention the upkeep of their home, can also take a toll. Despite these challenges, many mothers like Jasmin find strength in the love they have for their children, drawing energy from the very family that requires so much of them. So Smart Parenting asked her, “What is your message to mothers like you?”

But she wanted to send a message to dads instead. A key factor in thriving as a mother of four is having a strong support network, and she attributes this to her husband, Vincent.

“Yung husband ko po sobrang alaga n’ya, sobrang haba ng pasensya. So, sa mga dads, alagaan n’yo po ang mga asawa n’yo buntis pa lang, samahan nyo po sila sa monthly checkup, paglabas po ni baby full support din po, tulungan n’yo po sila sa pag aalaga. Naramdaman ko po na meron talaga akong katuwang, na binigyan ako ni Lord ng asawa na hindi ipaparamdam na hindi ako kamahal-mahal. 100% ko nararamdaman yung love nya at effort kaya kinakaya ko po araw-araw. Tulungan po talaga kami.“

Jasmin tells Smart Parenting that when husband is done with work, he helps in cleaning the house, taking care of the babies and even cooking meals for the family. Even if she wants to cook for them, he would sometimes insist so she can rest. He also minds the kids while she works out so she can remain strong and happy.

Whether from a partner, extended family, or a circle of friends, a strong support system helps mothers manage the mental and physical challenges. It also allows mothers to prioritize self-care, which is crucial for their emotional well-being.

Embracing imperfection and finding balance

It's impossible to meet every expectation accurately and to strive for unrealistic goals may eventually lead to burnout. Mothers would often find ways to prioritize what truly matters, like spending quality time with the children, rather than striving for an impeccably organized household. “Minsan hinahayaan ko na lang ‘yung mga kalat-kalat na laruan,” says Jasmin.

And while it seems exhausting right now and the days feel unbearably long–the years would go by quickly, and these little kids would be tweens and teens before they know it. So for whatever it’s worth, for Mommy Jasmin, “kayang-kaya, kinakaya, kakayanin!”

Here's a reminder to always be present with your kids.