Grades Are Not Everything: ‘Tama Ba Na Hindi Kami Mahigpit Sa Grades?’

Ang kwentong ito ay hango sa isang tunay na #SPConfessions na ipinadala sa amin sa Smart Parenting Village. Ang ilang mga detalye ay bahagya naming binago upang bigyang proteksyon ang nagpadala nito.

‘Do grades come second sa inyo, SPV parents? Hindi ko alam if tama ba na hindi kami mahigpit ng asawa ko sa grades ng anak namin na 5 years old.

Sinabihan ako ng kinder teacher ng anak namin na, “Mommy, perfect lahat ng exams niyo pero hindi siya nakapag-pasa ng portfolio kaya hindi siya nakasama sa with honors this grading period. Sayang po.” At kapag nalalaman din ito ng ibang tao, same reaction nila: Sayang daw. Sana nakapasok.

Hindi siya nakapag-pasa ng portfolio because she was sick for almost a week. Sa mismong exam day, lumabas siya from their classroom after less than an hour na kumakanta at nag-ho-hop pa kasi she’s like a frog daw.

Hindi kami na-disappoint ng asawa ko when we heard this. Instead, we asked the teacher kung ano ang behavior niya at kamusta siya sa loob ng classroom.

Sabi ni teacher, she can go on her own na sa CR at kaya na niya ang sarili niya. She can clean herself basta naka-on ang ilaw. She can also eat by herself and she shares her baon with her classmates na walang snacks, tinatabi ang mga gamit after gamitin sa tamang lugar, nagwawalis gamit ang maliit nilang broom, at nasusuot mag-isa ang shoe rug. Hindi nagsisimula ng away sa klase pero kapag may mga asaran na, she calls out her classmate’s actions. At kapag may umiiyak sa klase, she comforts them.

Dito na kami napangiting mag-asawa. Okay na kami learning na our child is growing up in a way that we prayed for–may empathy sa kapwa, independent, at nag-eenjoy sa pag-aaral unlike kami noon na pressured.

We also asked her if masaya ba siya sa school, at oo naman daw kaya ayaw niya uma-absent. 

Kaya grades come second for us. Fulfilled ang puso namin na maayos siyang student at mag-aaral inside their classroom. Dito palang proud parents na kami.’

Grades are Not Everything

We applaud students and their parents who excel in school, but it is very heartwarming to see that many parents these days do not consider grades as the end-all, be-all of their child’s accomplishments. This mom’s story of being proud of the person her child is becoming–beyond grades–resonated with many parents in the Smart Parenting Village.

Karen Talenjale, another parent, shared how they focused on their child’s actual learning and understanding over grades or honors: “High grades or honors are not priority. Mas nagcoconcentrate kami sa actual learning like kung naiintindihan ba niya talaga. Also, yung socialization and how to handle different situations, mas importante yun sa amin.”

K.R. Samson, another parent, said she prioritizes teaching life skills and values over grades, writing, “Ako rin, hindi ako masyado magiging strict sa grades. Ang mas importante sa akin, maging street smart ang anak ko, marunong sa gawaing bahay, marunong dumiskarte sa buhay nang patas at tama, marunong ipagtanggol ang sarili niya, and to stand firm sa values na ininstill namin sa kanya. And most of all, yung hindi niya kailangan mag-heal ng inner child in her adult life.”

Rey Chel pointed out that while grades may not be the priority, teaching responsibility–such as meeting school requirements–is vital: “You are doing a great job. But for me, while grades are the least of your priority, teaching our kids to comply with all the requirements should be part of the discipline.” She added, “Hindi naman para sa magka-honor siya, but to teach this to her at an early age will help her have the mindset when she grows up, na kahit gaano kahirap o kapanget ng gawa ko, isusubmit ko ito because this is part of my tasks.”

The original author clarified that her child was able to submit her portfolio at a later date since she had been sick. However, the delay meant her grades weren’t computed in time for the awardees list.

Another parent agreed with the author’s main points, but emphasized that parents should also strive for balance to raise well-rounded kids. “Totoo naman na mas mahalaga lahat ng nabanggit mo over good grades per se. However, I would also like to strike a balance,” Jacqueline Tiu wrote. “Sometimes kasi, grades are a reflection of how work ethics are developed through time. Responsibility, accountability, and perseverance–all of which are life skills that our children can use sa buong buhay nila. I used to be very lax sa kid ko sa school until nakita ko na he can do more. So I give him a little push, not for the grades pero para matutunan niya na hindi lahat will come easy.”

What Experts Say

Educators and experts have long spoken out about the effects of academic pressure on children and parents. Irah Maliwat, a playschool co-owner and educator, pointed out that lessons in schools are often fast-paced and overwhelming, especially for young kids: “Sometimes, the kids cry and refuse to study, and I’ve heard that they are even made to stand if they don’t answer the questions correctly during recitations.” Irah emphasized that for young children, parents should focus on “fostering a love for learning through play and exploration, rather than pushing academic skills too soon.”

Life coach, homeschool coach, and educator Ivy Marquez, also known as Coach Ivy, touches on “the curse of grade slavery.” She points out that parents sometimes tend to obsess over numbers and how one number on a report card can either make or break us. However, a number grade is not an exact measure of a person’s learning or development. “If we stop and think about it, does it really show what we’ve learned,” she asked. “The number doesn’t explain where we struggled, what concepts we didn’t understand, how hard we worked to get there, how well the material was taught, what’s going on in our personal lives, or how we handle stress in the moment.”

“The truth is, grades don’t paint the full picture of their understanding, their effort, or their potential. Learning–real learning–is so much more than that,” Coach Ivy emphasized.

While academic grades aren’t everything, educators remind parents that teaching kids to aim for excellence without undue pressure is key. Carol Ann Tomlinson, an educator and author, says: “Excellence in education is when we do everything we can to make sure they become everything they can.” 

The challenge lies in striking the right balance: encouraging excellence while focusing on what truly matters–the kind of person children are growing up to be.

Read here to learn why this magna cum laude mom says ‘Grades are not everything.’