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  • 'My Child Does't Need A Sibling': Pinoy Parents Share Their Choice To Have One Child

    Many are happy and content raising a solo child.
    by Kitty Elicay .
'My Child Does't Need A Sibling': Pinoy Parents Share Their Choice To Have One Child
PHOTO BY iStock
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    Parents are often told by their elders to have two or more children so their kids will learn to be sociable and won’t grow up lonely or spoiled. But as new moms and dads soon realize, raising a child is both difficult and demanding, not to mention, it can also be very costly. So, it’s not such a bad idea to have an only child, right?

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    4 reasons parents choose to have an only child

    Those who choose to have one child often have to defend their decision to others and are subjected to not-so-nice comments. Sure, these people probably mean no harm, but it can be pretty frustrating. That’s why we asked our parenting community, Smart Parenting Village, to share their reasons for opting to have just one child. The next time someone decides to pressure you, just point them to this article. You are not alone!

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    Financial constraints

    This is the number one reason why parents choose to have an only child. And not just for practical reasons — they want to make sure that they are able to provide for all their child’s needs.

    “Sa hirap ng buhay at gusto niya (hubby) mabigay lahat ng needs ng anak namin. ‘Yung hindi niya mararanasan lahat ng naranasan kong hirap.” — Gerald San

    “Ang hirap ng buhay sa Pinas, kahit todo kayod ka parang kulang pa rin. Sapat lang talaga ang sahod sa mga bills at pang-araw-araw na gastusin.” — An Ge

    “We’re both working and ayoko na sana maranasan ‘yung halos araw-araw nagmamadali kang umuwi, ‘pag may sakit si baby kadalasan wala ka. Nagkaroon ako ng separation anxiety while my little one is growing up kaya kung ‘di lang rin pwede na maging stay at home moa ko… isa na lang.” — Jane Vegim

    “Pareho kami galing sa malaking pamilya kaya alam namin yung feeling ‘pag hindi naibibigay ang gusto sa anak/bata. Ayaw namin mangyari sa baby namin yun kaya we are striving for our baby’s future.” — Angel Cadisal-Tibayan

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    Health-related concerns and pregnancy complications

    Even if they dream of having another child, parents are often held back by their age, health, and for the moms, the fear of having to go through a complicated pregnancy all over again.

    “I went through a lot during my first pregnancy. After ko siya maipanganak, sinabihan na talaga kaming mag-asawa na delikado at hindi na talaga pwede mabuntis. Kaya we are doing our best para mabigay lahat ng needs niya. Spoiling her with our attention and unconditional love.” — Mary Rose Soriano

    “I was 39 when I got pregnant with my now 6-year-old son. After that, the doctor said it will be risky for me to be pregnant again and that it may take my life if it happens.” — Jean Dayang

    “I had a traumatic pregnancy and hindi rin biro ang gastos. We want to give our child everything that she wants and the best na kaya naming i-provide for her kaya todo kayod ang tatay niya. I’m a stay-at-home mom naman. ‘Di pa naming kaya pa physically and mentally na magdagdag pa ng kids.” — Ai Leen Chan

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    A happy family with mom and child

    Single parents already feel complete with their small family of two. So, the thought of having a new partner and child is sometimes out of the question.

    “Umpisa pa lang, kahit ‘di pa ako nakikipagrelasyon, isang anak lang talaga ang gusto ko. I planned it.” — Donna Fava

    “I am a solo parent with a 2-year-old daughter. I don’t see myself with a partner anymore. Sinasabi nila, masyado pa raw maaga para masabi ko ‘yun. But I know for sure na hindi na ako papasok ulit sa relationship dahil ayaw ko i-risk ang paglaki niya sa iba na hindi niya kadugo.” — Cal Jan

    “Hindi naging maganda ang pregnancy ko with my first born. Naiisip ko lang na what if maging maging maganda ung experience ko sa sumunod kong pregnancy, parang ang unfair naman sa first born ko yun. Like I didn't get to have a maternity shoot, baby shower, or even pose for pics with my baby daddy (kahit selfie with him wala). Parang nagiguilty ako ngayon pa lang.” — Fainah Hernandez

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    Happy and content with one

    Parents don’t actually need a reason for choosing to have one child. Many of them are perfectly okay showering love and affection to their solo son or daughter.

    “Pareho kaming only child ng hubby ko pero hindi kami takot kung magiging solong anak din baby boy namin. Pwede naman namin i-prepare ang mga kaya na namin ma-prepare ngayon pa lang for his future — kinukunan ko na siya ng insurance and investments. May stocks na siya! We don’t intend to make him our retirement plan.” — Marvis Asher

    “Ang hirap magbuntis and maging parents sa newborn. Iniisip ko pa lang na mawawalan kami ng time sa firstborn namin nalulungkot na kami.” — Yin Advincula Rodriguez

    “Hindi ko pa kayang magmahal ng dalawa for now. Gusto ko muna mapadama sa anak ko ang 100 percent kong love. Natatakot kasi ako na baka ‘pag nagka-baby na, mafeel niyang mabawasan ‘yung love for him.” — Pauline Rementilla-Cacho

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    “Emotionally, mentally, and physically, I don’t think kaya kong ibigay sa second child ang naibigay ko na sa first.” — Anna Magsino

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    Did you also choose to have one child? What are your reasons? Share it with us in the comments!

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