Heartwarming Interaction Between Two Kids Lends An Important Lesson Against Body-Shaming

Welcome to Real Parenting, a space where parents can share the joys, pain, and the mess of parenthood. Want to get something off your chest? Share your parenting journey? Email us at smartparentingsubmissions@gmail with the subject "Real Parenting." Click here to read more 'Real Parenting' stories. 

Promoting a culture where body positivity thrives continues to be a challenge today. Despite all the messages shattering unrealistic beauty standards set on women, unfortunately, some still resort to body-shaming comments.

This has been a dilemma for one of the mommies on our online parenting community, Smart Parenting Village. Mommy Abigail Sadie shares her daughter's experience being a frequent subject of bullying by other kids because of her weight.

'Yung anak ko po mataba so madalas talaga nabu-bully siya ng mga nakakalaro niya and malaki talaga si anak ko at her age," Abigail shares. "So, minsan magku-kwento siya kung ano sinasabi sa kaniya ng ibang tao o ibang kalaro niya, nakakalungkot."

This is why, it's been a relief for Abigail to hear her daughter, Aloha, receive a compliment from her playmate. Below is an excerpt from a heartwarming interaction between Aloha and her kind-hearted playmate, Bella:

During our stay sa Sofitel may nakilala 'yung anak ko sa pool na kalaro niya named Bella. 

Anak ko: Mama sabi po ni Bella sa akin maganda daw po mukha ko *with smiling face*.

Me: Wow, then what did you say to her?

Anak ko: I said, 'Thank you' and siya rin maganda sabi ko po.

This time nakakatuwa lang marinig na sinabi 'yun ni Bella sa kaniya kasi mas napansin niya 'yung maganda sa anak ko kaysa 'yung mapipintas. Kudos sa parents mo Bella!

Teaching children body positivity

Abigail was right to credit Bella's parents for raising a body-positive child. At every stage, parents are responsible for guiding their children to have positive self-esteem and self-perception that they can reflect on as they interact with other people. 

Parents' guidance and support are vital in how their kids view their bodies, especially in this age of social media. (Read how social media can be toxic to children's body image and well-being here)

This is why parents must be open to having a conversation about appearance and weight in a compassionate manner. By setting a good example to your children on how to conduct healthy conversations about physical appearances, you become a role model to evoke empathy when they face other people.

As Abigail pointed out, "to all the parents out there, sobrang importante talaga kung paano natin ituturo sa anak natin na 'wag mam-bully kasi para sa akin kapag tinolerate natin 'yun, parents ang may mali."

Thousands of other villagers are touched by this interaction between Aloha and Bella flooding the post with like and love reactions.

In the comment section, many parents agree that building a positive body image starts at home.

"Nasa magulang naman po talaga 'yan. Ang anak ko palaging pinaparinggan ng kapitbahay namin na panget. So sabi ko sa anak ko, 'Maganda ka. Walang pangit sayo. Sa amin ka maniniwala 'wag sa sinasbai ng ibang tao...'," one mom recounts.

Another mom shares, "Tinuro ko rin talaga sa anak ko na huwag mag body-shaming. Minsan nga eh, may dumaan sa house namin na plus size siya talaga sinabi ba naman sa akin ng anak ko or bulong lang naman 'Mom he is too thick!' Sabi ko sa kanya 'Do not body shame others especially the people that you don't even know. Refrain from giving negative comments to others.'"

While one mom always reminds her child that we are all beautiful in our own ways. She shares, "Panganay ko din laging sinasabi na maliit, pero sinasabi ko sakanya 'Everybody is different and everyone is beautiful kasi God made us all.' Kaya 'yun lagi sinasabi niya pag binubully siya."

3 ways parents can promote body positivity

In a previous SmartParenting.com.ph article, we offered three simple ways on how parents can empower their children by practicing ways to instill a positive body image. (Read full article here)

1. Be a role model

Start by being a healthy role model. Learn to love your own flaws and make a list of things you like about yourself. This might be a great start to not only lessen being self-conscious but also to boost your child’s self-confidence and to build a different perspective on how she sees herself.

2. Teach them that nobody is perfect

Be less critical and avoid commenting on others’ shapes and sizes. Teach your kids to appreciate beauty in different forms until it becomes a habit. 

3. Tell them to take good care of their body

Rather than striving to lose weight, a better thing to teach them is the importance of having a healthy mind and body. Begin with a sensible diet and eating nutritious foods, getting enough sleep according to their age, and being active every day while also having fun.

There is more than one way to help our children build positive self-esteem. Click here for 8 tips on how to raise a confident child.