Parents Can't Afford To Skip Netflix's Adolescence

This article may contain spoilers.

We are just trying to be better parents.

That’s one of the lines Stephen Graham uttered in the new Netflix series Adolescence. The show has broken records, amassing 66.3 million viewers as of writing, making it the most-watched UK show for Netflix. Graham, who co-created and co-wrote the show, also stars as Eddie Miller—the father of 13-year-old Jamie (Owen Cooper), who is accused of murdering his schoolmate, Katie. The show explores the aftermath of the crime: Jamie’s arrest and its effects on his school, community, and family.

The four-part series’ raw and gut-wrenching scenes are jarring for any parent. It asks us questions we don’t have answers to and reveals a world we didn’t even know existed. By the end, like Jamie’s parents, we’re left trying to piece it all together: Can we be better parents? How do we really help our kids? Can we do anything to keep them safe?

Adolescence captured everyone's attention, most especially parents. It sheds light on what our children deal with in today’s digital world—one we are still learning to navigate. And it's a terrifying truth we don't know how to face.

Dr. Gail Reyes-Galang, psychologist, child and family expert, and member of the Smart Parenting Board of Experts, recommends the show. She says it offers a glimpse into the young generation's reality.

“I encourage parents and educators to check out Adolescence, as it gives a clear look into the troubling ‘incel culture’ that is all over the Internet, often in places we can’t see,” she emphasized. “By watching it, adults—especially those who work with kids—can learn to spot signs of bullying, recognize incel slang, beef up safety measures for our teens, and remind them that it’s important to report any concerns they have.”

Should parents watch it with their teens? Dr. Galang says, yes: "It’s especially crucial for parents to watch this series with their younger teens, as it covers sensitive topics like discrimination, violence, and inappropriate language. If your teen is hesitant to watch it with you because they feel it’s an invasion of their personal space, try to come up with creative ways to talk about the issues and language found in the series. This way, you can open up a dialogue and help them navigate these important topics."

Because the show touches on many challenging but relevant issues, Smart Parenting compiled key takeaways for parents.

Parenting realizations from Netflix’s Adolescence

1. We cannot overdo monitoring screen time.

Research shows that screen time affects kids’ development and overall health. For Smart Parenting Village member Ericka Mercado, Adolescence validated her family’s screen time rules. A mom of a 9-year-old boy and 4-year-old girl, Ericka shared:

“Very strict kami sa screen time, it’s okay if we do it as a family like movie nights. Madaming games that my son is not allowed to play. Kahit na sabihin niya minsan na, ‘Everyone is playing it in school!’ We always say na iba-iba ang rules per household.”

We realize that the Internet and social media have rendered the walls of our homes useless against harmful online content and ideologies.

Ericka knows that they can’t keep their children off screens forever, but she emphasized:

“If we can delay it as much as possible na ma-explain namin sa kanya na there are age-appropriate things like social media. And there’s a reason for it [our rules].” While she also doubts their decision sometimes, considering that they might alienate their son from his peers, she said Adolescence strengthened their decision. “Because of this show, we realized it’s a good decision that we’re delaying it as much as we can, hanggang maging age-appropriate siya for him. Close monitoring and conversations are also important.”

ALSO READ: SG, Sweden, Netherlands Are Limiting Childrens' Screen Time

2. Kids are not necessarily safe at home.

One of the most disturbing truths from the show: In this digital age, our children are not necessarily safe when they're home. As Jamie’s mom, Mand (Christine Tremarco), sobs, “We thought he was safe because he’s just in his room, on his computer.” We realize that the Internet and social media have rendered the walls of our homes useless against harmful online content and ideologies.

Erin Galoso, a mom of a 15-year-old boy and a 7-year-old girl, shared:

“You can’t assume that your child is safe in your home. You need to be involved, especially in this age of technology, where everything is on the Internet. Monitor your kid’s online activities, talk to them constantly, and let them know that they can talk to you about anything… Nowadays, monsters can be inside the screens, and if you or your child doesn't know better, they can attack your family before you know it.”

Adolescence's star and co-writer Stephen Graham said, "When we were kids, if you got sent to your room or if Kenny Everett was on the telly, and it got a bit racy, you'd be sent to your room and then you couldn't watch it." He continued, "But today even within the context of that home, when lads and girls go to their bedrooms, they have the world at their fingertips.”

RELATED READ: Why 'Dumb Phones' For Kids Might Be A Smart Move

3. Kids speak a different language, and parents must listen and learn.

If our generation had our coded messages at school, it’s no wonder that today’s youth have established their own. Adam (Amari Bacchus), DI Luke Bascombe's (Ashley Walters) son, explains to his father the true meanings of the emojis that were not even part of the detective's investigation. Each heart color has its meaning: red for love, purple for horny, yellow means ‘I’m interested but not in sex,’ and orange means ‘You’re going to be fine.’ The seemingly simple red pill carries the loaded message of “‘I see the truth.’ It’s a call to action by the manosphere.”

'It’s important because it shows how some vulnerable boys can get pulled into this mindset, especially because it thrives online.' —Dr. Gail Galang, psychologist, on the subculture 'Adolescence' tackles

Dr. Galang thinks that this insight into emojis is advantageous for parents. She said, "The series is a helpful tool for parents to understand that some emojis can have underlying meanings related to bullying. For example, a snake can mean someone who backstabs you, a snowflake might suggest that someone is weak or fragile, two boys can imply a gay relationship, a long nose usually indicates a liar, a frog may be used to call someone ugly, and a skull can even mean 'go die.' It’s really important for parents to recognize these meanings and talk about them with their kids. If they don’t, kids might face loneliness, isolation, social anxiety, etc."

Pam Remoluna, mom of two, reflects, “There’s still a lot we don’t know about this generation. I’m only 31, pero ang dami nang bagong terms that kids use these days na hindi ko alam.”

4. It would not be misguided to entertain the thought that it could happen here.

Just because Adolescence is a Western series with a primarily Caucasian cast doesn’t mean that it could not happen here in the Philippines or that the issues are too far from home. The fact is, the Internet exposes all children, wherever they are, to the same ideologies, such as the incel culture mentioned in the series. Dr. Gail said Filipino teens already know some of these terms, which adults can easily dismiss and consider harmless.

"Since I didn’t watch the series with my teens, I found myself chatting with them about incel culture and some terms like 'blue pill,' 'red pill,' and the '80-20 rule.' Honestly, I was surprised to discover that things I thought were harmless, like looksmaxxing—basically efforts to improve one’s appearance through haircuts, exercise, and healthy eating—were tied to this culture."

"We were trying present a portrait of complexity of this kid that had been made by all sorts of different influences and the thing about incel culture is there's a logic to it.”  —Stephen Graham, co-writer and actor

She added, "I remember my son and his friends explaining 'mewing' to me, which is a technique for improving jawline definition. It made me realize that such acts, though harmless, seem to pull them into measuring themselves based on a hierarchy of attractiveness."

Dr. Galang, who is a mom to adolescents and adult children said, "Right now, incel culture still feels like a very Western concept. But it’s important because it shows how some vulnerable boys can get pulled into this mindset, especially because it thrives online. This can lead to real dangers like bullying and violence, particularly for those who start to think that feminism has unfairly taken over and robbed them of their 'rightful' status. We must prioritize safeguarding and vigilance to ensure our children don’t fall into this trap."

According to Forbes, Graham said the series is not based on a "single real-life case... but it was inspired by the growing knife-epidemic in the UK." He also said, "We were trying present a portrait of complexity of this kid that had been made by all sorts of different influences and the thing about incel culture is there's a logic to it.”

Another sad truth is that one only needs to look at the news to know that the violence depicted in the series among teens is already happening in our country.

5. Stay true to your values.

Make sure your kids know your family values. In a world overflowing with information available with just one click, strong values might protect our children more than the walls of our homes.

Kindness, integrity, empathy, respect, and seeing worth beyond appearances can serve as shields against toxic ideologies. Incel culture forces us to rethink how parents are to raise boys and the kind of role models they should have.

'Adolescence' forces us to confront a unsettling truth: parents have our work cut out for us, now more than ever. And with the quick advancements of technology, it won't get easier.

Mommy Jane, a teacher in the US, said, “Malaking tulong yung may solid spiritual foundation, kasi yun talaga ang pwede mong pang-hawakan na values system ng anak mo.”

For Dr. Gail, Adolescence holds a very important lesson for parents. "It’s really important to understand how certain cultures, online trends, and language through emojis can affect kids’ feelings and actions. Even if they seem fine at home, they might be dealing with inner struggles that aren’t obvious. Having open conversations about these topics can help them grasp the risks of bullying and harmful beliefs they might encounter. Staying involved and paying attention can make a big difference in keeping children safe and supported."

6. Always check in with your kids.

Especially as they grow older—even if they appear distant, moody, or disinterested. Ask them how they’re doing and keep communication lines open even if you feel you're hitting a wall. Ericka said:

“Habang lumalaki sila (kids), mas dumadami na 'yung ginagawa nila na hindi natin alam. First five years, alam natin. But as they grow up, importante 'yung daily check-ins, especially if parents are busy with work.”

Final thoughts

Hands down, Adolescence is a terrifying series—not because of monsters or scares, but because it gives us a chilling glimpse into a possibility that is unfortunately, not farfetched. It’s disturbing, heartbreaking, and raw—all the things it should be to wake us up. It forces us to confront an unsettling truth: parents have our work cut out for us, now more than ever. And with the quick advancements of technology, it won't get easier.

While it may be tempting to pinpoint a single source to blame just to help make sense of it all, Graham said, “It's just being mindful of the fact that not only we parent our children, and not only the school educates our children, but also there's influences that we have no idea of that are having profound effects on our young culture, profound effects, positive and extremely negative. So it’s having a look at that and seeing that we’re all accountable.”

He added, “Who is to blame? Who is accountable?” The answer, he said, is not as straightforward as we need it to be. “Maybe we're all accountable, family, school, society, community, environment.” And therein lies the reason for our discomfort and anguish.

Gail Reyes Galang is a registered psychologist with a PhD in Child and Family Studies and a member of the Smart Parenting Board of Experts. Follow Dr. Gail on Instagram and TikTok.

Smart Parenting has been committed to helping Filipino parents raise kids in the digital world. We have published articles on delaying social media access for kids 16 and below, how parents can use ChatGPT, and how to help children differentiate between online and offline friends. Visit Smart Parenting Guide to Digital Parenting to stay updated and share the link with other parents.

*Quotes have been edited for clarity.