'Wala Ka Bang Pambili Ng Gatas?' And Other Comments This Tandem-Feeding Mom Had To Overcome

"Nakakapagod," is the first word that Mommy Regina Jaen Singian said when Smart Parenting asked her about her breastfeeding journey. 

Regina, 26, is a hands-on mom of two from Rodriguez, Rizal. She works in a BPO company, and also manages an online business and side hustles. On top of these, she is a proud padede mom, who is tandem-feeding her children, Luna, 2; and Rain, 10 months.

"Na-reach na namin yung peak [ni Luna], yung first 1000 days, pero continuous pa rin. It's freeing, fulfilling, rewarding, and empowering at the same time, especially when you know that you provide the best food that you can give your children."

However, Regina said, the journey wasn't all smooth and easy, especially in her case, when it was people who are closest to her are the last ones to support her.

"Madalas kino-compare nila si Luna sa ibang bata, or sila na daw ang bibili ng gatas para sa kanya. Nasi-sway na rin yung asawa ko na pati siya nag-doubt na din sa akin kasi nga petite yung katawan ni Luna. 'Yung expression pa nila na 'Dumedede pa rin siya sayo?' 'Wala ka bang pambili ng gatas?' o 'Kawawa naman si Luna,' Akala mo harmless lang."

Despite the negative comments, she perseveres in her breastfeeding journey. She also accepted the fact that maybe it's her calling to educate other people, starting with her relatives, about breastfeeding.

Recently, she underwent training to become a certified breastfeeding peer counselor through LATCH, a non-profit organization that offers quality lactation education and mother-to-mother breastfeeding counseling services since 2006.

"This is my personal advocacy. I want to share that anyone can succeed. I wanted to be someone that I needed, especially nung naging mother ako."

Breastfeeding while pregnant is safe

Regina said the negative comments started when she continued breastfeeding her daughter even when she was pregnant. She said that it was her choice, but it was very hard. She realized she didn't have a strong support system, but she powered through.

Regina shared, "Nakatulong [yung breastfeeding] sa akin na mag-adjust yung katawan ko. Nakatulong sa contractions ko, parang yung katawan ko ready na agad sumabak sa laban. Napadede ko agad si Rain, kay Luna hindi ko nagawa yun."

Robyn Horsager-Boehrer, M.D. an obstetrician-gynecologist in UT Southwestern Medical Center said, "The only time we ever recommend that a mom not breastfeed during pregnancy is if she has risk factors. Read here the conditions.

She added, "Before you commit to breastfeeding while pregnant, make sure you can get enough healthy calories to meet this need every day."

According to Healthline, "Colostrum will still exist for your newborn no matter how much your older child feeds. Still, to ease your concerns, consider offering your newborn the breast first at each feed."

For those who are concerned if the older child is taking away the nutrition that the younger child needs, experts say that the only way to ensure that the mom is producing the best possible milk is to keep her healthy.

How to support other breastfeeding moms

Regina said, "If you don't really have a strong support system, even though dedicated ka talaga in doing this, if you don't have the support you need, kahit madami kang supply, magdedeteriorate talaga." 

She admits that although she cannot count on much on the support of her family, she has found refuge from fellow moms she met online who share their breastfeeding stories and experiences.

"Breastfeeding success is 10% supply, 30% dedication, and 60% support system."

If you are a breastfeeding mom or someone who wants to support other breastfeeding moms, Regina shared some tips that she learned along the way.

1. Don't give unsolicited advice

If you want to support a mom in her breastfeeding journey, let them open up to you. "It will be their choice if they will let you in. Listen to their story first. Kung magbibigay ka ng advice, as much as possible, be neutral."

Regina reminds, "It's not about you. For example, may lip-tie yung baby, at wala kang experience doon, do your research first."

2. Respect their process

As much as possible, Regina doesn't want her counselees to feel that breastfeeding is easy. Every breastfeeding mother's journey is unique. What worked for you may not work for them, and it's okay. "The way na ma-encourage sila is step-by-step. Hindi lang siya isang upuan, if you want to help them."

And if you don't encourage them to continue breastfeeding, don't blame yourself. The best you can do is to refer them to seek professional help.

3. If the mother is dedicated, support her.

For Regina, she learned that the best way to encourage a mother whether to breastfeed or to tandem-feed is to let her know that she is supported. "I have to know her first and ask her if she really wants to, at gusto rin ng mga anak niya, we'll do it. I'll be there for her, kung hindi niya makuha yung support sa family."

Dede-cation

Now, as a breastfeeding peer counselor, Regina is on a mission to help moms all over the Philippines to succeed on their breastfeeding journey through support, education, and empowerment. 

To moms who are doubting their capability to breastfeed their child, Regina reminds them, "You are wonderfully made. You can provide. You are enough."

She hopes that more husbands and families will support breastfeeding moms. "It's more than just breastfeeding. It's giving life to another human being."

She added, "Sana huwag nila isipin na breastfeeding is just about the mom and child. Meron ding role yung family, especially dads.

"What breastfeeding gives is a happier community, a closer and happier family."

If you want to become a breastfeeding peer counselor like Regina, learn more about LATCH Philippines here.

If you need to talk to other parents about breastfeeding and all things parenting, join the Smart Parenting Village.