Bernadette Sembrano Is 'Happy' Not Having A Child, But Still Hoping For A 'Miracle Baby'

In 2018, when Bernadette Sembrano and her husband Emilio "Orange" Aguinaldo IV had been married for 10 years, they turned to in vitro fertilization (IVF) to have a child.

Later that year, on December 8, Immaculate Conception Day, they had a successful implantation of what could've been their child Mary Olivia, nicknamed Molly.

“We lost her 9 weeks after,” the broadcast journalist wrote on Facebook on December 8, 2020. “We do have a daughter, and she inspired me to live a life of honoring and remembering.” (Read here about her miscarriage story.)

Nearly four years after losing her daughter, Bernadette remains grateful and optimistic. She tells Ogie Diaz in an interview posted on his vlog how she and her husband are doing since the miscarriage.

"Hindi pa naman sinasabing hindi," she replies when asked how they feel for not having a child yet. "Kasi nago-ovulate pa naman ako. Hindi natin alam baka magka-miracle baby din."

She adds, "So hindi ko pa rin sinasara ang possibility. Nag-attempt naman kami, pero unfortunately nagkaroon kami ng miscarriage. Kaya ko sinasabing kami kasi kami namang mag-asawa ‘yon. So merong magiging baby dapat."

Bernadette admits having reproductive issues: "I don’t mind sharing this. Malaking bagay rin sa mga kababaihan na nanonood at saka sa mga mag-asawa. Meron akong endometriosis, myoma. So meron talagang difficulty bearing a child. Given na ‘yon."

Still, she says, "Nag-try naman kami through in vitro. Kaso ’yon nga lang, nagkaroon ng miscarriage din. ’Yun nga si Molly, back in 2018."

She recalls how she and her husband felt at that time when they had Molly: "Excited, yes, and thankful. Pero at the same time,  binubuksan mo ang ’yung pagkakataon na baka hindi rin matuloy. Parang no expectations.

"Kasi alam mo naman ’yung reality, di ba? Sabi nila, sa third trimester, hanggang and’yan ’yung baby, hindi ka pa rin naman sure. But we were very hopeful."

Bernadette then shares how she and Orange coped with the miscarriage: "Una, pinagpasalamat ko. Ipinagpasalamat namin na nangyari si Molly, and ’yung palagi ko rin pananaw na kapag mahal mo ang isang tao, dapat hindi mo tinatapos sa kamatayan ’yung pagmamahal mo.

"So parang naalala ko no’ng nangyari si Molly parang all the more akong naging bukas sa buhay. What do I mean? Lahat nung mga dreams ko, kasi inililista ko, eh. Kasi nga matanda na ‘ko, naalala ko, 'What if matanda na ‘ko, at lumaki s’ya, e di hindi ko s’ya masyadong nakita ano?' Inililista ko ’yung mga wish ko for her."

She goes on explaining, "Bakit her? Para alam ko lang na Molly ’yung name n’ya. I don’t know. You just know. Meron akong wish list. Inilista ko s’ya."

This is how Bernadette's wish list roughly looks like: "Sana gan’to. Sana, maging maka-Diyos. Sana passionate. Sana marunong kang tumulong sa kapwa."

She points out, "So isinusulat ko ’yung pangarap ko. So no’ng nawala si Molly, sabi ko, the way to love her and continue loving her is to embrace the life that I wished for her. So no’ng nangyari ’yon, naging mas bukas ako sa pag-serve sa church, mas naging bukas ako sa passion ko.

"Iba ‘yung naging grasya sa akin na ginamit ko s’ya para mas yakapin ang buhay, and to allow her to live in my heart. Kung ano ’yong ligaya na idinulot sa akin, parang gusto kong magtuloy-tuloy s’ya by living a good life. Siguro gano’n ang naging ano ko if you call it a coping mechanism. Pero sa sa akin, ’yon ’yung naging grasya."

(Read here on how cope after a miscarriage.)

Bernadette says Orange, whom she describes as "very simple, child-like, madaling i-please, hindi naghahanap," has been her source her strength and equanimity. She remembers her husband reminding her: "Do not waste time, maximize. Ang ikli-ikli na nga ng buhay, magiging nega pa ba tayo? What is important is today."

In fact, she beams, she's "contented," and gamely posits, "Are you happy na wala kayong anak?" Her reply: "Yes. Pero ang tanong naman, may bukas pa, di ba? Habang may bukas pa naman, e di mag-effort ka din. Kasi hindi naman natatapos today.

She adds on behalf of her husband, "Happy kami [na walang anak], pero may bukas pa. Tuloy lang...Matutong maging grateful. Matutong makuntento."

For couple, who, like them, haven't lost in one day having their own children, Bernadette offers compassion, understanding, and prayers.

Read here Rita Avila's story on losing her child just three weeks after giving birth.