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Dear Momma, Just Because You Had A C-Section Does Not Mean You Are Less Of A Mother
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  • Dear Momma,

    I know how you feel.

    The morning after your Cesarean delivery, you are encouraged to shift positions, to lie on your left or right side. Even this little movement hurts. It feels like there are a thousand dull knives stabbing you over and over again.

    The world seems to slow down. You don’t feel like yourself because the things that come naturally — standing up and sitting down — hurts.

    How did it become like this? At some point before your due date, you fervently prayed to have a vaginal birth. The moment your doctor told you that you needed to go under the knife, you felt a bit disappointed.

    You feel that your body has failed you. Your excitement over seeing your little one was perhaps replaced with anxiety and even fear.

    Momma, take the time to feel these emotions — cry if you want to. At the end of the day, if having a C-section is the safest way to deliver your precious baby, then there is no need for regrets.

    When D-day comes, I assure you that all your anxieties and worries will be replaced by a spectrum of beautiful emotions — love, joy, and excitement.

    Always remember: You are never less of a mother if you give birth via C-section.

    I have an android-shaped pelvic bone and my doctor told me that there is a fifty percent chance that I will deliver through C-section. I clung to that other fifty percent chance of having a vaginal delivery — after all, the women in our family have given birth vaginally. I thought that with my wide hips, it would be an abomination if I’ll go through a C-section.


    However, during D-day, my labor did not progress. I had to undergo an emergency C-section because my baby had already pooped inside, and it would be detrimental to both our health if I insisted on pushing baby out.

    The morning after the operation, everything felt sore. When I would pee, it burns.

    I blamed my hips for being uselessly wide. I blamed my baby for being huge at 8.25lbs.

    But then I realized, nobody is to be blamed but my mind for caring so much about what other people would say or think.

    Momma, the days may seem long and endless, but I promise that every new day takes you closer to your old self or maybe an even better version of yourself. For now, take your sweet time recovering. Nobody is rushing you.

    If you feel tired from trying so hard to sit down or stand up, listen to your body. Take that much needed rest.

    If you can’t pick up baby or you need to sleep through the night and let your husband do the hard work, then sleep and take things easy. After all, the people who really care for you will understand and won’t pass judgment.

    In your moment of weakness, you can draw strength from your family. They will always help you in their own little ways, just don’t be afraid to ask for help.

    Only pessimists would say insensitive things that might dampen your healing spirit. Always remember: You are never less of a mother if you give birth via C-section.

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    Giving birth is not about who does it better. It is not about vaginal birth versus C-section. Motherhood is not a competition.

    At the end of the day, how a baby is brought to this world won’t matter. What matters is that both you and baby are healthy and that each day you try to be the best momma to your little babe despite the pain, the exhaustion, and personal struggles.

    This piece was submitted by SmartParenting.com.ph reader Ana Carina K. Morales and first appeared on her blog Mommy Rhapsody. Edits have been made by Smart Parenting editors.

    An AB Literature graduate, Ana is a former software technical writer turned work-at-home mom. A daydreamer, Ana believes that fiction is better than real life. She is a mother of two, a home maker, and has an obsession with cleaning the spots and stains in the house.

    Got something to share? Email us at smartparentingsubmissions@gmail.com. Click here for more stories on having a Cesarean delivery

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