Parents Are Humans, Too: How To Manage Our Own Emotions

Parents are often hailed as superheroes. In reality, nothing makes us more human than parenting. We experience a full spectrum of emotions—from joy, excitement, and pride to fear, anger, and guilt.

We know that the emotions we feel throughout the day can have an impact on our well-being as well as our family’s. But when little humans depend on us for their existence, these complex emotions can be overwhelming.

That’s why understanding and managing our emotions can be transformative, turning our homes from chaotic to calm.

Difficult emotions are integral to the human experience

There are no good or bad emotions. Acknowledging an emotion without judgment is key to managing it. When you feel a difficult emotion, you can notice how it shows up in your body. Do you feel a tightness in your chest or a stiffness in your shoulders?

Next, you can try to identify the emotion. Are you feeling stressed? Anxious? Overwhelmed? It helps to use a feelings wheel if you’re struggling to put a name on the emotion.

Then, accept the feeling as a natural response and not as a judge of your character. “It’s normal to feel frustrated. That does not mean I’m a bad parent.”

Express yourself in a healthy way

We often feel the pressure to be a constant source of positivity and strength for our children, but that is unrealistic and unhealthy. Many studies highlight the negative effects of emotional suppression on our well-being.

Being honest about how you feel and explaining it in an age-appropriate manner can be a powerful teaching tool. This sets a good example for your children and provides an opportunity for open communication.

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However, not all emotional experiences are for sharing within the family. In such cases, consider speaking with a trusted friend, counselor, or therapist to avoid bottling up these emotions.

Get curious about your emotions

Sometimes, an emotion is the message, but often, it’s the messenger. There is more to an emotion than the initial feeling and it often gives us a clue about our values, motivations, or even trauma.

Parenting is an emotional journey. Acknowledging, expressing, and understanding our emotions is key to a healthier, happier family life.

For example, if you get angry when your child gets a failing grade at school, are you just angry? Or are you also frustrated that he hasn’t been diligent with his schoolwork despite your reminders? Or scared of how he will do next term? Or ashamed of how this will reflect on your parenting?

Emotions are data points that give you information about yourself. With expert guidance, you can turn these data points into insight to help improve your well-being and relationships.

Check your tank

When parents neglect self-care, emotions can quickly spiral out of control. Proper sleep, nutrition, exercise, social connection, and mindfulness all have a positive impact on emotional well-being.

Research also shows that, when parents take care of their mental health, their children reap the benefits, too. They perform better at school, relate well with peers, and grow healthily. How’s that for efficiency?

Reach out for support

Multiple studies underscore the effectiveness of counseling and therapy in promoting emotional well-being. Therapists collaborate with you to develop healthy coping mechanisms to enhance your emotional resilience. Some also offer parent coaching to guide you in tough situations with your children.

If you’d like to speak with a therapist, it’s easier now to choose one online. One way to do that is through Beacon, a mental health platform dedicated to Filipino parents. On their website, you can browse the profiles and schedules of therapists who can help with concerns such as depression, anxiety, stress, grief, mental disorders, etc.

When you seek professional support, you will be more equipped to handle your emotions.

Embrace the experience

Parenting is an emotional journey. Acknowledging, expressing, and understanding our emotions is key to a healthier, happier family life. By embracing the human experience of parenthood, we not only enhance our well-being but also model valuable emotional intelligence for our children. With time, patience, and self-awareness, we can be masters of our own emotions and create a life of more meaning.