To You Who Felt Like You've Lost Yourself, Iya Villania Says, 'Find Yourself Again'

It doesn't have to be New Year's to reset. It takes only a tired, unmotivated, stuck, and lost mama to feel the need to reset.

As moms, we all go through phases when all felt lost—including losing touch with the our previous selves because motherhood can be incredibly challenging. When the pandemic hit and my firstborn turned three years old, I had the chance to reflect on how my life had changed since becoming a mom. It was a mix of feeling like there was a whole new sense of me, yet losing the best version of myself. I did a motherhood reset that could help me bring back or find the best version of myself. 

To reset means "to set again differently." Moms need to reset when they feel stuck, overwhelmed, burned out, stressed, lost, disorganized, and lacking a clear vision for themselves and their family. The first step to making a motherhood reset is recognizing the need for change. When you do this, life becomes better, moment by moment, day by day, and step by step.

In a recent interview with Smart Parenting, mom of three Iya Villania shared a valuable tip for moms who felt like they've lost themselves in motherhood: "I know that this whole parenting thing can be really tough, can be really hard, and can really bring out the worst in all of us. But I'm asking you to please don't lose yourself. Find yourself again. Work on yourself. Love yourself. Because the only way for you to be the best parent is to be at your best self. So find something to do for yourself…. Don't feel bad about it. You need that too. You deserve it."

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10 tips on how to make a motherhood reset

Here are some universal tips that worked for me ever since I became mindful of my bad habits. To avoid distractions and stay focused on your reset goals, here are ten tips:

1. Write down your to-do list and habits that you want to automate.

Think about the things you do from the moment you wake up until the next two hours of your day.  Is it truly productive? Probably not. I imagine you scrolling through the reels on social media and lying wide awake, wasting precious time. As James Clear, author of "Atomic Habits," said, it is essential to track our habits so we can become aware of what we want to stop and what we want to start.

This weekly planner helps parents track their habits and most important tasks. It's essential to divide your monthly plan into a week plan. Set intentions daily on how to achieve them.

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2. Hydrate! Hydrate! Hydrate!

It's hard to believe, but I started tracking my daily water intake. As a mom without a helper, even staying hydrated can become a challenge. Staying hydrated has improved my energy levels as a breastfeeding mom. Research suggests that we should aim to drink at least 8 glasses of water a day.

This tumbler is best for moms who want to bring their cups anywhere without worrying about spilling the drink. Invest in quality brands that will last longer and remain aesthetic over time.

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3. Get enough sleep.

Binge-watching after the babies sleep? Oh, yes! We've all been there, and it's one excuse that most moms give as they say it's their time for self-care. But, really, after doing so, you wake up the next day feeling unmotivated and tired after staying awake for so long. Getting enough sleep includes improving your waking-up time and sleeping hours. Get as much as 8 hours of sleep when possible.

One of the recommended sleep rituals is applying this aromatic balm from Garden Lab. All you need to do is rub and massage your shoulders, back, chest, and forehead to help relax you before sleep.

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4. Eat a healthy breakfast.

If you have no time to prepare for a hearty meal, just like me, I started by drinking my favorite cup of chocolate drink and oats.Every new mom's favorite is the pioneering lactation drink in the country. This FDA-approved and Halal-certified brand offers healthy and delicious beverages for breastfeeding moms (and the entire family). It is available in coffee and chocolate flavors.

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5. Do a simple walking exercise.

Iya added, "And yeah, I highly encourage you to get active not just for yourself but for your kids. When you are strong and have a good set of lungs, you will be able to enjoy this life with your children for a little while longer. You can do it."

Try using this set and hold yourself accountable for when you will stay active during the day or the week. A simple walking exercise can boost your mind and energy. The best time to exercise is any time of the day.

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6. Dress up on your regular days.

Dressing up doesn't mean wearing elegant clothes on regular days, but simply finding time to have a routine of taking a bath first thing in the morning as it sets the mood to carry on during our day. Wear clothes that will help you feel at best, even at home.

These statement shirts are designed by a Filipina mom for mamas, who creates beautiful art from her heart. 

Buy this Studio Maria Statement Shirt for Moms (Php 480) on Shopee here

7. Organize and declutter that one spot in your home.

Thanks to Marie Kondo and other home improvement shows on Netflix that help moms get obsessed (in a good way) with cleaning up. I have two-year-old and five-year-old daughters, yet they aren't an excuse to stay organized. When they see me organizing their things, I saw that they started copying me. It truly sparks joy when things are in order, and you think more clearly too.

Give this multipurpose organizer a purpose: may it be your personal nook, reading corner, pantry space, or more. Just do anything to re-organize your stuff to clear your head ahead. 

Buy this 4-Tier Metal Multipurpose Shelf (Php 665) on Lazada here

8. Stress less about money.

Money may not be the root of evil, but it is the source of most parents' stress and worries. When you don't know how to handle your finances well, you may feel controlled by how you use it instead of taking control of the money.

One good way to start managing your money is by organizing it with these cute and cheap budget organizer that helps you separate bills, savings, or investments. Staying traditional helps you a long way.

Buy this Budget Organizer (Php 79) on Shopee here

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9. Create a mindfulness ritual that works for you.

It's hard to be mindful when multitasking becomes the norm, but being aware at one moment of our day takes effort instead of always being "mind full." I am not good at painting, but I recently tried painting by numbers to make time for creativity. It does work wonders! I've never felt so focused until I painted by numbers, and once you finish it, it feels so motivating and freeing at the same time.

Buy this Creative Paint By Numbers (Php 129) on Shopee

10. Write down your intentions and thoughts.

There is a therapeutic experience when you write a sentence or two in a day or month. Writing in your journal about things you're grateful for, something you're worried about, or intentions and visions for your personal and family life will help you get through the day. They say that when we write down our dreams, they're more likely to happen as they're etched in our minds.

Check out this personalized bamboo notebook and set your intentions on how to stay mindful as a parent. 

Buy this Personalized Bamboo Notebook (Php 156) on Lazada here

You could add these to the list: cooking a new meal, trying a new restaurant, going out with friends, finding a part-time job, or shopping for your favorite shoes! The list goes on, depending on your hobbies, but always work on yourself. Never feel guilty for prioritizing yourself every once in a while, because, as the saying goes, we cannot pour from an empty cup.

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