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Sex Doesn't Give You Pleasure? This Medical Condition May Be The Reason
  • It's normal for a couple's sex life to take a back seat after having a child for many reasons. Maybe you don't want to get pregnant again right away, or you're exhausted caring for a newborn, or a lot of other reasons. But at some point, you'd get your sex drive back.

    Sex and intimacy remain an essential aspect of a relationship. So it may be a concern for some men and women when they don't have any interest in having sex with their partners. There are many factors to consider. One of them is anorgasmia.

    What is anorgasmia

    Sex is still taboo in Filipino culture, so if you're not sure what it is, an orgasm is a feeling of intense physical pleasure and release of tension, accompanied by involuntary, rhythmic contractions of your pelvic floor muscles. There is no one way to orgasm; it varies for each individual.

    Anorgasmia, on the other hand, is a medical term for a condition that's described as having difficulties in reaching orgasm even after ample sexual stimulation. Plus, this inability to reach orgasms distresses or frustrates you or interferes with your relationship with your partner.

    The condition affects both sexes, but more women, about 4.6 percent, experience anorgasmia than men. Anorgasmia is harder to treat in women who have entered menopause. The condition is exceptionally rare in younger men. If men have it, it's mostly associated with delayed ejaculation.

    Anorgasmia is different from erectile dysfunction (the inability to achieve an erection) in men or low libido (the lack of sexual desire), but these conditions may co-exist.


    Types and causes of anorgasmia

    The medical condition covers a broad spectrum. The types of anorgasmia are based on when the person started experiencing it and factors that may affect an individual's path to orgasm. 

    Lifelong anorgasmia is when a person has never had an orgasm ever. It can also be developed, meaning you used to have orgasms but are now having issues reaching orgasm. This is called acquired anorgasmia.

    Situational anorgasmia happens when you are unable to have an orgasm only in certain circumstances. For example, you're not pleasured by oral sex or with a particular person. Generalized anorgasmia is when a person can't have an orgasm in any situation or with any partner. 

    Anorgasmia can also be classified based on its causes, and there can be several. It can be physical or psychological in nature.

    Physical causes of anorgasmia include illnesses, physical changes, and medications that can interfere with reaching an orgasm. It may also be due to gynecological issues, such as uncomfortable or painful intercourse, hysterectomy, or cancer surgeries. Blood pressure medications, antihistamines, anti-depressants, and psychotic drugs can affect orgasms.

    Vices such as alcohol consumption and smoking can also affect your sex life. Aging, serious illnesses such as multiple sclerosis and Parkinson's disease can also affect sexual satisfaction. 

    Psychological causes of anorgasmia can be focused on the self or the woman's past and current relationship. Many women, most especially moms, may relate to these. Check if you tick one or two in the list below. 

    • Mental health problems, such as anxiety or depression
    • Low self-esteem, poor body image
    • Stress that may be related to financial pressures
    • Cultural and religious beliefs
    • Embarrassment or guilt about enjoying sex
    • Past physical, sexual or emotional abuse
    • Lack of connection with your partner
    • Unresolved conflicts with your partner
    • Inability to talk to your partner about sexual needs and preferences
    • Infidelity or breach of trust
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    Diagnosis and treatment of anorgasmia

    If you want to jumpstart your sex life again, consult with your doctor. But you have to be willing to share everything. The more your doctor knows, the better it can help him/her treat the condition. 

    When you consult your doctor, he/she will ask you for a thorough medical history, including past surgeries, sex history, and past and current relationships. He/She will also conduct a physical exam to check for anatomical causes. 

    Treatment for anorgasmia depends on the cause of your symptoms. If an underlying condition is to blame, then treating it will help. For menopausal women, hormone therapy or medication may help. Often, lifestyle changes and therapy are conducted to address psychological and relationship issues. These may include sex therapy and couples counseling. 

    One of the first things you'll need to do is know what satisfies you during intercourse. Do this by exploring your body using your hands (masturbation) or using toys. When you figure out what works for you, don't be afraid to share it with your partner.

    You can also explore sexual positions and other stimulation types when you're doing the deed with your partner. 

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