Bo Sanchez Says His Mother-In-Law Is The 'Best' Because She 'Never Meddles'The life coach also reminds parents to set a healthy boundary with kids.by Angela Baylon .
Building a good relationship with your in-laws does not happen in an instant. There are still a lot of adjustments that would take place between two families after marriage. And while there's no definite guide on how to get along with your in-laws, life coach Bo Sanchez and his mother-in-law offer some advice you could find helpful.
In a Facebook live, Bo sat down with his wife Marowe Sanchez and mother-in-law, Linda Lopez, to discuss what it means to be a good in-law.
A good in-law helps but never oversteps
Bo describes Mommy Linda as the "best" mother-in-law. The inspirational speaker recounts how lucky he and Marowe are to have Linda, who is always one call away if they need help.
"You never meddled. You never interfered with our decisions." — Bo Sanchez
Despite being always present in their lives, Mommy Linda was never critical of their decisions as a married couple.
"When we're married, you and daddy would always be available to us, any kind of help you're there. But you never imposed," Bo shared. "You never meddled. You never interfered with our decisions."ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW
Marowe went on to tell a specific scenario when her parents were super supportive instead of being judgmental. It was when the couple decided to homeschool their two kids.
"I was also hesitant to share our decision with mommy pero of course we had to share that decision... Your only reaction I remember, nagtanong lang kayo, because you wanted to understand better what homeschooling was... You just supported. Wala talagang any kontra," Marowe shared.
Mommy Linda remembers this instance and said that while she actually had apprehensions back then about homeschooling, she only aired this sentiment to her husband.
"Honestly, sinabi ko rin sa Daddy Ruben, 'Dad tama ba 'yun? Hindi papaaralin sa mga normal school?'" To which, according to Mommy Linda, Ruben replied: "Hindi naman siyempre papayag si Bo... siyempre kinonsulta din naman 'yung parents sa kabila kaya mommy, cool ka lang."
For Mommy Linda, in-laws must keep an open mind and refrain from imposing their own opinions on the younger couple.
Three hats parents wear as kids grow older
In relation to setting child-parent boundaries, Bo introduced what he calls the "three hats" parents wear during different stages of their kids' lives. These hats are the:
- Controlling hat
- Coaching hat
- Consultant hat
According to Bo, parents should change the "hat" they wear as their kids grow older. The controlling hat is worn when the child is still a baby or a toddler.
Meanwhile, coaching hat is worn when the child is approaching his teen years.
"Ang coaching hat, parang coach sa basketball, hindi ka pumapasok sa court sa labas ka lang and then you call the players and then you coach...You lessen the control," Bo explains.ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOWRecommended Videos
Lastly, the consultant hat is what in-laws should wear.
Bo said: "The consultant hat speaks only when hired. And the parents need to switch from coaching to consulting pag may asawa na or when the child already leaves the house."
Bo's "three hats" metaphor is a simple but perfect guide on how parents should assume their roles on their kids' lives. It's a gentle reminder that our kids will eventually grow to become their own persons. It's also important to remember that loosening up our control over our kids does not lessen our value as their parents.
Are you wearing the right hat at the right moment? Join our Facebook group, Smart Parenting Village, and share with us your experiences with your in-laws and how you maintain a good relationship with them.
Click here to get tips on how to improve your love-hate relationship with your mother-in-law.
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