Smart Parenting February 2025 Cover: Jim and Saab Magalona-Bacarro with Pancho and Vito
Just before the photo shoot on a Monday morning in February begins, husband and wife Jim and Saab Magalona Bacarro are entangled in an embrace while speaking in low, hushed tones only meant for each other until Saab jolted up suddenty to ask, is it time to start the shoot? Not yet, the Smart Parenting team answered, and we asked them to carry on along with their canoodling. The popular podcasting couple's sweetness is apparent when listening to their episodes and browsing their social media accounts, but in real life, they truly just can't keep their hands off each other.
And maybe that's the secret sauce to all their endeavors. Apart from podcasting and raising two kids together, Pancho and Vito, Jim and Saab are also in business. "How can you work together despite being in love?" interviewers often ask couples who work together. But speaking—and maybe listening—to this couple will tell you that the better question is: how could these two do anything but work together when their combination begs for it?
Jim and Saab just celebrated their 10th wedding anniversary. They carry with them a bit more maturity, calm, and gratitude after weathering the challenges of raising kids, child loss, and a number of health concerns for Saab—quite a few hurdles for just their first decade in marriage. It might also be why love overflows from the 'podparents' to their children. During the shoot, when Jim or Saab reunites with either of their sons, they are warm and enthusiastic and lavish both kids with hugs and kisses. When they need to address their kids' behavior, they speak to them in private or redirect.
A few days after the shoot, we spoke to the Bacarros on a video call, away from the kids, the business, and even the shoot. Their screen opens up to the exact current setup of their podcast: Jim is seated on the left, and Saab on the right. Both take time to answer each question thoroughly, a default as an articulate pair. However, what was remarkable to see was their non-verbal communication, like when Jim gently laid his hand on Saab's back when she answered questions he knew could make her emotional. Or how intently Saab would gaze into Jim's eyes, turning her entire body towards him when he would follow up on her answer with his clarification.
Whether audibly, in a social photo or video snippet, or in a quick personal conversation, Jim and Saab's admiration for and devotion to each other comes rushing out. It is no surprise that raising deeply loved children is their intention as parents. It simplifies a role that can often feel overwhelming. While love requires effort, to quote the couple in their interview below, the goal is actually uncomplicated. —RCB
Jim and Saab Magalona Bacarro on love and marriage
Ten years married, how do you remain madly in love with each other?'
Saab: I mean, how could you not? Charot! Honestly, I wouldn't recommend just, love will just keep it alive, right? The one thing I'm afraid of, and I think what all couples don't want to have, is for you to have a sibling relationship. Kasi most of the time, when you're super comfortable, everything becomes free for all. You got to leave a little bit of mystery. You've got to still send each other invitations to go on dates, and set time for stuff that you used to do before. We take that for granted, now that we're living together. We've got to set that time that kept the spark alive back then, till now. I love our dates, even if it's just a quick lunch at the mall. We always have to remind each other—no business talk! Let's do other stuff. It's fun. It keeps us young.
Jim: I think when we started dating, I guess the best thing about our relationship was that we were friends. I always tell our couple friends—you will have multiple phases with your partner. Ang advice ko lagi is learn to fix and talk, and be honest with each other in your relationship, especially at the early stages, because life gets harder and harder.
For example, Saab and I, we have had so many iterations of our relationship from super landian to best friends, to madly in love, and then newlyweds. And then something as traumatic as losing a kid and then, becoming business partners and having two kids. I guess it's true that our friendship is what keeps us [grounded]. I always say to Saab, in all our biggest milestones, whether good or bad, we've always found a way to laugh with each other. So yes, fundamentally, the friendship is the most important thing—the care and the genuine friendship.
"We discovered new versions of ourselves. Thankfully, those new versions actually love each other even more." —Jim Bacarro, on celebrating a decade of marriage
Saab: We see the importance of setting time just for us. Lalo na kapag nagkaka-initan kami ng ulo and we're like, 'Wait, let's check the calendar. Oh my gosh, ang tagal na natin hindi nag-one-on-one time!' That makes sense. Just the same as with the kids, if you don't have a connection, there are going to be hard conversations. You have to connect first before you can get anything done.
Jim: Friendship-wise, we realized that it's something you still work on. If you asked us five years ago, we never needed to designate time or really talk about it. We're trying to establish this new thing, which is 10-minute feelings a day, where both of us will just say, 'I'm feeling ____ because _____.' So when the craziness of the day pours in, you kind of know that, 'Oh, this is Saab. This is the Saab the person. She's not Saab the mom who is in-charge of the pickup,' or 'This is Jim who's in-charge of cooking.' It's 'Oh, this is Jim who's stressed today,' or 'This is Jim who's happy today.' Ayokong basagin yung trip niya.
Saab: I love it when we're honest with each other because when Jim opens up to me and says, 'I'm feeling this.' I will ask him, 'Do you want me to help you or do you want me to just listen?' That's crucial. 'Do you want me to just shut up and listen?' Because I could do that or I could offer something and then he'll say yes. I love it kasi hindi niya bini-bury lang inside of him and mailalabas niya sa akin yung stress niya. So honesty is really important, too.
Pero one more thing from me, what I'm trying to learn now is to not fall into gender stereotypes na it has to be Jim planning the date every week. Tapos mag-tampo ako na hindi ka nagpa-plan ng date. There are so many other things that he does for the family. Same as me, I do a lot of things. So if he is to overlook setting a date or making that decision, we're part of a team. So ako yung magre-remind na, 'Oh, where do you want to go? What do you want to do this week?' 'Do you want to just watch something at home or do you want to go out?' And then maybe just sharing that mission to keep the spark alive. Remembering that you're on the same team and not expecting something and then being disappointed when it doesn't happen exactly the way you want. You gotta speak up. That's a soundbite.
Given the challenges you encountered—losing a child and Saab's recent hospitalization due to a rare congenital condition, how has your love evolved over the years?
Jim: Two Decembers ago, Saab almost died—again. So, obviously, if you were in my position that you see the person whom you love the most, that you could almost lose them, definitely, that will shift your perspective. There are days when it centers us with a lot of things. For example, the stuff that we would fight about before, it's easier to let go now. But I want to go beyond that. I think in the two traumatic events, even my view of our relationship changed. Not just my view towards Saab. I think seeing our relationship go through something like that and survive, and again, find pockets of laughter, find pockets of joy. It's reassuring. It's crazy.
Saab: I would say the love is just way deeper after going through stuff like that.
It's two things: One, I was so enamored. It's so hot to see someone being in control because I was, in both times, in the ICU (intensive care unit). I can't really do anything. And then he's taking charge of everything in our family and everything. I found that, 'Look at this guy. I made the right choice. He's so hot!'
But also, two, something that we learned later on is he had to work on not seeing me as something so fragile. There was a point in our relationship, even in this new life-threatening situation, that he wouldn't open up to me because he was so afraid that I've gone through so much. If I could share it to other parents, married couples, any couple, who went through something traumatizing, even traumatic birth experiences, do not discredit the dad's role there and what they went through because it gets overlooked a lot. It's the mom who went through the trauma. But it's also very traumatizing for the father. So just a reminder to also check in with their mental health because it also affects the marriage.
Jim: I think the answer to the question is, we discovered new versions of ourselves. Thankfully, those new versions actually love each other even more.
Why is it important for parents to love each other deeply?
Saab: I don't think we were consciously doing that. But I think that is something automatic. I would like my kids to know and experience what true love is in a romantic relationship. I hope that they don't settle for less than true love. Like how it is to be properly treated, how it is to be able to feel safe enough to communicate your needs and your desires and your dreams and your goals without feeling like you would be judged, and just to be kind to your partner. I would like them to learn that.
Jim: We're just very, very madly in love with our kids. They're the funniest people we know. They're hilarious, and they're incredibly fun. That's natural. But I do want to share, just like with the relationship that we have, me, Pancho, and Vito, and Saab, masuwerte kami. We're fortunate that there's a natural connection. For some reason, the chemistry is awesome. We find each other funny. We're all empaths.
The strongest empath is Pancho. Pancho knows when I have a bad day. And he can't communicate it right now, but he does in his own way. And I think what's beautiful about having Pancho, we've developed our own language, literally and figuratively, I think it represents what I want to say, that we continue to listen. We continue to want to get to know them.
In relation to what I said earlier about Saab and me, it's constantly trying.
"No matter what happens, my relationship with Jim will be so much better if I have a good relationship with myself." —Saab Magalona-Bacarro
Admittedly, I did not read a baby book when Saab was pregnant. I just didn't like it. Now, I'm reading so many books. I did a deep dive on fitness, music, geeking out about stuff. I'm learning about childhood trauma. Dr. Becky Kennedy is like my LeBron James now. Ang point ko lang is, there's this deliberate effort to getting better and keep trying to make the relationship even better. If there is a natural and there's a baseline, that's great. But like any relationship, you have to keep working on it.
Do you fight with each other? What's one thing you learned about fighting and conflict in the past 10 years?
Saab: Siyempre nag-aaway kami. I think it's very important to communicate that because I don't want it to seem like we're so perfect, we never fight. Now that I think about it, we haven't had a podcast na we had to scrap because, nag-away kami. That used to happen a lot, right? Now, we don't anymore. I think we do fight well. The worst thing you could do is be afraid to fight and be afraid of conflict. Good conflict exists. That's how you grow, right? Fighting is not a bad thing. If we weren't fighting, that probably means we don't really care about this relationship. There's bound to be friction because you wanted to go somewhere, and you're different people. Don't take that for granted that you're different human beings.
I think, what happens is, when you are in a really good relationship, you take it for granted na parang sa tingin mo, iisang mind na lang kayo because, you are so in sync. But, you have to remember, you're not the same person. So, you have to communicate what you want. You have to communicate these things.
And, my biggest learning is, no matter what happens, my relationship with Jim will be so much better if I have a good relationship with myself. Because, no matter what he says, I know that I love myself, and I'm a good person. So, if he's saying something that's rubbing me the wrong way, I get curious, 'He's not communicating this very well. Is he going through something?' Because, I know I'm actually like a really great person. I love me. That self-love translates to me loving him. Na parang, 'I'm sorry that that happened. Is there anything I can do to help?' So, definitely, you got to fix your relationship with yourself if you want your relationship with someone else to be stronger.
Jim: I think mine would be the same. Our relationship got better when we started working on ourselves. Therapy, meditation. There are more stops than pauses that are so valuable. So, while we're saying, yes, please go fight, embrace conflict. But there is also beauty in those pauses because that's something we've had to learn.
In an Instagram reel, Saab shared that "The goal was never to have a perfect child. The goal has always been to raise a child who feels deeply loved." Why should parents make this their goal too?
Saab: Because it will translate into everything else. When you feel loved, you'll pay it forward. You will also be a loving person. You will also want the best for the people around you. And we have to keep remembering that there's no such thing as perfect, and I'm so glad that my parents never made a big deal about like good grades—not that all parents who cared about grades were selfish. They were showing love in the best way that they could, making sure that you're set up for success.
Apparently, that is a big thing for our generation na parang we are extensions of our parents, and the way we show up is a representation of them. We have to remember that our children are not us. They're their own person, and it's not about you. It's not about you. The more that the goal is for your child to feel deeply loved, the more you will know what to do. Parang, 'I just want them to feel loved. I don't have to be perfect. I don't have to know the best brand of whatever, or the best school. I just want them to feel deeply loved. That's the most important thing to me.' And you follow your intuition. You follow your gut based on that North Star. It just makes things easier for the parent if that's the goal.
Jim: Actually, I was going to say, I've had to adjust because our parents knew that as long as your kid is set up for security, financial safety, or if your kid is not sick, then you've done your duty. Our parents raised us or most of us were raised to the best of their knowledge. I would like to get the best out of everything. So let's say, for my parents, I learned from them that there are virtues that I need to instill, and then I will adjust with what is Generation Alpha.
Our kids are growing up in a different world from what we grew up in. And me, getting the best of both worlds, would set it up. But again, the ending is the North Star, like what Saab said, are we loving them? Do they feel loved? I want them to live a life not afraid. I think that's what most of our generation felt.
Saab: But there's a condition. I think that's the difference, Jim. Iba yung, 'I'm going to love my child,' sa 'I want my child to feel my love and to feel deeply loved.' Meaning, I will not just show them love the way that I know. I will check with them, ask them what's going on, and not just assume, 'I love you ha. Alam mo na yan. Because I gave you this, I gave you that. So dapat alam mong mahal kita.' The goal is to make them feel your love.
Editor's note: Quotes have been edited for clarity and brevity.
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Photography by Ronan Capili
Makeup by Jill Felix
Hairstyle by Merlette Bucatan
Styling by Debra Bernales
Editor-in-Chief: Ronna Capili Bonifacio
Assisted by Em Cruz and Iya Merquita
Creative Direction by Stephanie Ocampo
Associate Video Director: Cherrie Julian
Videographers: Rolando Pingco Jr. and Richford Unciano
Video Editor: Rolando Pingco Jr.
Shoot Assistant: Alfred Locsin
Social Media by Zen Arganda
Associate Publisher: Bettina Santos
Interview by Judy Santiago-Aladin
Special thanks to Gingersnaps
Shot on location at Puddy Rock Studio
