Marriage Should Be A Renewable Contract, Says Annulled Mom Of 4

Designer, philanthropist, and mother of four, Tessa Prieto, recently shared her insights on the potential divorce law in the Philippines.

In an episode of the Sexy Time Podcast, hosted by sisters Ava Daza Zanirato and Isabelle Daza Semblat, Tessa shared her experience with the annulment of her 26-year marriage to Dennis Valdes, describing the process in the Philippines as "painful, lengthy, and depressing." Her candid discussion provided valuable insights into the challenges of annulment and sparked a meaningful conversation about the differences between annulment and divorce.

Tessa Prieto on annulment and divorce

The House of Representatives recently approved the bill reinstating absolute divorce in the Philippines, and Tessa, a woman who has experienced the complexities of marriage and annulment firsthand, made her voice heard.

She passionately supported the divorce bill, articulating her belief in its significance. Tessa argued that divorce does not necessarily undermine the sanctity of marriage any more than annulment, which is currently available in the Philippines.

Drawing from her personal experience with annulment, Tessa emphasized the emotional toll it took on her family. She shared, “But do you know in an annulment, they make kids stick sides and testify against one parent or another, which destroys the family unit even more.” She pointed out that compared to going through a divorce, which involves only the two spouses, the annulment process had a more detrimental impact on her children and family as a whole.

Tessa is well-known for her dedication to Christianity and is highly respected for her unwavering support of the church and her religious convictions. However, in a recent podcast, she openly expressed her disillusionment with Christianity's stance on divorce. She articulated her confusion about the church's emphasis on preserving marriage and family while also opposing divorce. In her words, “So can you imagine, it’s such a contrary, to the Christianity sort of, what they want to keep and preserve, that’s what I realized while I’m going through annulment.”

Isabelle, one of the podcast hosts and a mom of three, emphasized that divorce safeguards the financial assets and the entire family's well-being, benefiting both parties involved rather than favoring one gender over the other.

Tessa further highlighted that due to the lack of legislation protecting both spouses in the Philippines, men often engage in extramarital relationships, having multiple partners while still being married. She said, “Since we don’t have divorce in the Philippines, what do the men do? They keep the marriage and have multiple partners and don’t support the first wife or the second wife that’s why they have multiple partners because the law does not stop them for doing it."

Tessa Prieto: Communication with your spouse is key

Tessa shared why two people in long-term love suddenly decided to separate. The ultimate reason is the need for better communication.

She was utterly blindsided when her husband suddenly announced that he was done and wanted to end their marriage. “It came out of nowhere, nowhere,” she said. She couldn't pinpoint when his feelings had changed, and she was eager to repair their relationship, but it seemed she had missed her chance. Her husband's decision appeared final, and that's when she realized their lack of communication had been a significant issue.

"My advice is keep the lines open and make sure that you guys prioritize yourselves in the sense that you have, like, maybe a quarterly check on each other." —Tessa Prieto

“There is no miscommunication, there is lack of communication. Okay, I never misunderstood him; there was zero communication, so that’s what it is," she explained. It became clear that their failure to communicate had led to a series of unresolved problems, ultimately resulting in their separation. This experience has led Tessa to emphasize the importance of open and honest communication in marriage to her listeners. "My advice is keep the lines open and make sure that you guys prioritize yourselves in the sense that you have, like, maybe a quarterly check on each other," she shared.

Tessa Prieto: Marriage should be a renewable contract

She suggested that marriage should be a renewable contract, “If you are in a marriage of that long, guys are less and less intimate, sexual and their verbal language is less, in fact, almost none, so I was dealing with that.” Men and women who decide to get married should have the chance to renew the contract because being in a marriage for a long time takes a toll on each side. There must be a chance for them to get out if the marriage is already too painful, too toxic, and not helping them to be better people. That's why Tessa believes, divorce must be legalized in the Philippines or marriage must be a renewable contract, at least.

“My number one goal is my family, my kids, my grandkids, myself, and my Red Charity Gala.” —Tessa Prieto

Tessa has endured hardship and sorrow, and now she's embracing a sense of renewal and rejuvenation at 60 years old. She has shared that her process of moving on from a problematic relationship was incredibly challenging; she experienced depression, and it required the guidance of numerous shamans, participation in various rituals, trauma, regression, psychosomatic therapy, yoga, and dedicated efforts to rediscover her true self once again.

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Tessa offers a fresh perspective on rebuilding one's life with courage and authenticity. After being annulled and going through tough times, she still believes in marriage and finding happiness with a partner. A bad marriage does not stop us from finding love all over again. She believes that marriage is an expression of love and life.

Tessa revealed, she is currently at a phase where she is still repairing relationships in her life. “My number one goal is my family, my kids, my grandkids, myself, and my Red Charity Gala.” She wanted to work on herself and her family before getting into a serious relationship again. Tessa, who we always know as grand, lively, and bright, will soon be on the runway of love. In her words, “Love will find me, it will.”