Rica Peralejo On Raising Kids: They Have To Fly On Their Own

Some parents are content to see their children become their mini versions, adopting their values and beliefs. However, it's crucial not to overlook their individuality. Celebrity mom Rica Peralejo-Bonifacio knows the challenge of finding the right balance between guiding her child and allowing him to shine on his own.

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Rica, Smart Parenting's editor-at-large, shared her reflections in an Instagram post featuring a travel video with her eldest son, Philip. She began, "Every single day, I would get a remark about how much we look like each other, and yet this is also the season when I feel it most—he is his own person."

As she navigates her changing relationship with her 10-year-old son, she recognizes a profound truth. "He is only my child, and he is not me. He has wants other than my wants. I have wants he no longer wants," she stated. This recognition underscores the struggle parents face as their children grow and assert their individuality.

"And while all that is ok, it is also not an easy affair. I know this time inevitably comes to all mothers but when it does it always feels too soon," she added.

In closing, the mom of two encapsulates the essence of parenting: "The job is really just to pave the way, but they’d have to fly on their own."

Guiding Children to their Individuality 

In a world inundated with opinions from social media and beyond, it can feel like there's little room for independent thought. We are constantly told what to believe, what to buy, and how to act. Yet, fostering individuality in your child empowers them to think for themselves and navigate this overwhelming landscape with confidence.

Below are simple ways to guide your child in forming their individuality:

1. Challenge them to explore.

One of the hardest tasks children, especially teens and tweens, face is figuring out who they are and what they want to become. Start this journey early by encouraging your child to explore their interests and strengths. For example, if your child shows interest in sports, suggest trying out for a team, even if you are not a sports enthusiast yourself. This exploration helps them discover their passions and shapes their identities.

2. Prioritize effort over talent.

Teach your child that hard work and perseverance are more valuable than innate talent. While praise is important, emphasize that success often stems from effort rather than just being "smart." For instance, celebrate their hardwork when they practice a musical instrument or complete a challenging project, reinforcing that persistence leads to growth and achievement.

3. Nurture their passions.

If your child loves singing, dancing, or painting, nurture those passions now. Enroll them in classes, whether it's a local art workshop or a dance school. Additionally, introduce educational games or apps that align with their interests, helping them cultivate a lifelong love for learning. 

4. Foster assertiveness.

Helping your child learn to stand up for themselves is crucial for building self-esteem. Encourage them to express their interests confidently and remind them that it’s okay to be different. Role-playing scenarios where they practice saying "no" or sharing their opinions can empower them to pursue their dreams without fear of judgment.

5. View failures as growth opportunities

While it's natural to want to protect our children, overprotection can hinder valuable lessons. Allow them to experience setbacks, whether it's a failed test or a lost game, and teach them that resilience often leads to success. Share stories of well-known figures who faced failures to illustrate that learning from mistakes fosters determination and a healthy self-respect for pursuing their passions.

Building a sense of individuality in children means teaching them to respect themselves and their interests while fostering healthy character traits. By trying these strategies, you can confidently guide your little ones toward discovering their true selves.

Discover more about raising independent kids here.