Sore Loser At A Young Age? What You Tell Your Kids Matters

As much as we love to cheer on our favorite athletes and teams when they win, no one is invincible to defeat. Losing is an unavoidable part of sports, regardless of age, gender, or level of competition.

Avid fans of Filipino Olympians like EJ Obiena, Carlos Yulo, and Hidilyn Diaz might voice their opinions, win or lose. However, for young and promising athletes, the voice of their parents is the most crucial of all, as it can significantly impact not only their performance but, more importantly, their personal development. Mindful parents have the responsibility to help their child navigate the difficult emotions that come with defeat, which can be intense at times.

With the uptick of interest in athletics and other sports, especially among young ones entering the realm of competition for the first time, how can parents guide them in choosing a sport, developing the right attitude towards winning, and avoiding becoming sore losers?

We’ve gathered valuable insights from a few parents and their children who are currently excelling in their chosen sports, offering potential to mold future Filipino Olympians.

Developing A Champ's Mindset: How Parents Help Kids Handle Defeat

Start from a place your kids truly love.

The popularity of basketball among boys in the Philippines is undeniable. Despite that, not all boys enjoy dribbling a ball up and down a court. Calvin Isaguirre's love for playing in the pool started in his toddler years, and by the age of 7, he began racking up medals in competition after just over a year of training.

"We decided to enroll him in only 10 sessions at Bert Lozada Swim School, initially just for survival skills because he enjoys being in the water so much," shared Paula Pizarro-Isaguirre, Calvin's mother.

"On the days they get tired, want to skip training, or feel a little low after losing, let them rest." —Paula Pizarro-Isaguirre

"Then during his graduation day, the head coach approached us and asked if we were interested in extending Calvin's swimming lessons because he and the other coaches saw a lot of potential. We were surprised and eventually asked Calvin if he wanted to continue. He quickly said 'yes,' and he didn't want to do other sports any longer, like Taekwondo," she added.

^{Calvin Isaguirre found out what sports he loves early on, thanks to his parents' guidance.}

Christian Isaguirre, Calvin's father, is a car and motorsport enthusiast who first shared his passion with his son by signing him up for kart racing. However, Calvin's interest in cars didn't match his thrill of swimming in the water.

"As a dad, I wanted Calvin to share my interest in cars, but then I learned that it's important for the child to discover where his passion lies," Christian revealed. By supporting his son's happiness in swimming, he's shown how parents can remain supportive, not forceful, whether interests are similar or different.

Show encouragement by listening.

Allowing children to explore different sports is something Calvin's parents urge other parents to do. For them, it's an effective way to find out which sport their child enjoys most and can excel in, and parents must show support from the beginning.

"As a dad, I wanted Calvin to share my interest in cars, but then I learned that it's important for the child to discover where his passion lies." —Christian Isaguirre

"Once your kid finds a sport, show them you're interested and invested in their choice right from the first day," Paula added. "Then, on the days they get tired, want to skip training, or feel a little low after losing, let them rest. It presents an opportunity for us as parents to listen to them and offer encouragement. Eventually, they will regain energy, and they will be the ones to tell you when they are ready to train and compete again."

^{Raising a future champ means trusting where their passions lie.}

According to child psychology experts, patience with children means having meaningful conversations beyond motivational talks. For young athletes, listening to the difficulties they encounter can ease their frustrations, which are often a cause of low performance, poor results, and eventually losing. Moreover, this opens doors for parents to understand more about their children's behaviors.

^{Calvin and his parents Paula and Christian Isaguirre.}

Calvin recently took home 1 gold medal, 1 silver, and 1 bronze under coach Al-Jimar Aming at the First Plunge Novice Swim Meet 2024, hosted by Bert Lozada Swim School. The school also invited Olympians Arabella Sims, Silver Medalist from the 2020 Tokyo Olympics, and Jarod Hatch from the 2024 Paris Olympics for a separate athletes’ training session.

Guide them one step at a time.

Trying to discover her different talents, Brianna Mendoza joined a few GIFT Programs at her school, St. Paul College, Pasig. GIFT is a focused enrichment program for students to excel in sports, visual arts, and a range of other disciplines.

Although Brianna showed talent in swimming, chess, and the arts, it was during a school vacation that her mother encouraged her to join a summer program at Club Gymnastica. She joined, timid and unsure at first, but eventually never looked back.

"When she came home, we asked her how her tryouts went and talked about what other help she needed." —Jaz Lanuza

"In 2016, when she was only 7 years old, we asked her to try Club Gymnastica since their location then was near our house, and it was summertime with nothing really for kids to do," said Jaz Lanuza, Brianna's mother. "After a couple of sessions, she saw some schoolmates attending classes and got excited about it. Siya na ang nag-insist after that," added Earl Mendoza, Brianna's father.

^{Brianna Mendoza's parents found out she loves cheerleading at an early age.}

When her school's cheerleading squad opened for a new batch of cheerleaders, Brianna seized the opportunity. Her gymnastics training from the summer paid off when she became part of the team.

As long as she gives it her all in the safest manner and truly enjoys her time, that's the victory they can always be proud of as her parents.

"Cheerleading requires the foundation of stunts, and that's the value we discovered in Brianna practicing gymnastics," said Jaz. "While it was Brianna's choice to try out for the team, when she came home, we asked her how her tryouts went and talked about what other help she needed," she said.

^{Parents play a key role in helping their children win.}

Seeing an opportunity for Brianna to excel, her parents paid close attention every step of the way, bringing her safely to and from training venues, even reaching out to those in their circle who could help her further. This led them to Coach Lucky San Juan of Arellano University, a four-time National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) Cheerdance champion, and Coach Jam Lorenzo of Adamson University, who both saw tremendous potential in her skills and are now coaching her towards a future in college.

Free them from worries and injuries.

The country's premier cheerleading competitions like the National Cheerleading Championship, NCAA Cheerleading Competition, and University Athletic Association of the Philippines (UAAP) Cheerdance Competition require hours of intense training that can take months to complete. The toll on the bodies of young athletes can lead to serious injuries if not properly addressed.

Although she's only 14 years old, Brianna's mom never fails to check up on her before practice, asking questions like "Do you really want to continue?" or "Do you want to change sports?" to offer her daughter a reality check.

"Unlike in our days when moves were fairly basic, these young girls are doing advanced techniques at their age. And so, when Brianna suffered an injury, I told her why not take piano lessons instead," she said.

^{Brianna with her parents, Jaz Lanuza and Earl Mendoza.}

All jokes aside, Jaz told her daughter not to force anything and to speak out when she has worries or another injury. As long as she gives it her all in the safest manner and truly enjoys her time, that's the victory they can always be proud of as her parents.

In June, Brianna and her teammates were hailed as champions of Megatrez, a cheerdance competition organized by the Sangguniang Kabataan ng Barangay Rosario, Pasig City. Meanwhile, in Season 17 of the National Cheerleading Championship held last March, Brianna and the High School Pep Varsity St. Paul Pasig bagged the championship.

How young did Filipino Olympians Carlos Yulo and EJ Obiena start their athletic careers? Read here.