Five Co-Parenting Lessons We Can Learn From Ex-Celeb Couples And Their New Partnersby Dahl D. Bennett .
Co-parenting is a great balancing act. There will be many awkward moments for all parties involved—including for the parents’ new partners. However, the most successful co-parenting arrangements are those that involve parents who are able to move past their personal differences and focus on the best interest of the child.
There are a number of local celebrities who have successfully demonstrated this and co-parented their child/ren even if one or both parents have moved on and established new relationships. Many of them have not only been able to keep a civil and friendly relationship with their exes but also share a good rapport with their former flame’s new partner.
Here are some lessons we gathered from celebrity couples whom we think are taking the term modern family to a level that’s worth emulating.
5 Co-Parenting Lessons To Apply For A Peaceful Arrangement
1. Learn to forgive and be friends with your partner's ex.ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW
Perhaps the relationship between Songbird Regine Velasquez and former Australian beauty queen Michelle Van Eimeren, is the best example of how forgiveness elevates a blended family’s relationship to a whole new level. Regine is singer/songwriter Ogie Alcasid’s wife and Michelle used to be wed to Ogie.
While Regine has admitted to carrying guilt early in her relationship with Ogie for being the ‘third party’, Michelle was the first to make her feel that she is not an outsider at all even calling her ‘family’. In public both women have shared that they have sorted things out and all is well between them.
“Right away, forgiveness was given, acceptance was given, and so there was friendship,” Regine revealed in a recent interview with hairstylist Celeste Tuviera. Michelle and Ogie were married in 1996 and have two kids—Sarah and Leila.
RELATED: Regine Velasquez On Their Blended Family: Michelle Van Eimeren Said The Kids Must Be The Priority
When they separated, Michelle tied the knot with Australian Mark Morrow. Regine, on the other hand, married Ogie in 2010 and they have a son Nate, now 11. Because all is well between the two women, this good relationship is translated to how Regine mothers her stepdaughters.
Perhaps, one incident that has proven Regine is a doting stepmom was when she supported Leila during the Star Magic recording artist’s pictorial. When Leila posted their photo during the shoot on IG and referred to Regine as her “PA or Personal Assistant” –meant as an inside joke between the two--the Songbird’s fans began to troll her.CONTINUE READING BELOWwatch now
Regine was quick to defend Leila, saying “Na-hurt ako for her.” Leila is currently living with the Alcasids here in the Philippines to be closer to her Dad and to her little brother, Nate.
RELATED: Regine Velasquez And Leila Alcasid Discuss Their Relationship As Stepmom And Stepdaughter
2. Make the new partner your ally and keep the respect.
We give it to actor John Lloyd Cruz for being the first to extend a figurative handshake to Derek Ramsay when he praised the latter for being a good parent to his and Ellen Adarna’s four year old son, Elias during an interview with talent manager and comedian Ogie Diaz.
Ellen and John Lloyd broke up after two years of dating. In 2021, Derek and Ellen had a whirlwind romance that ended up in the altar in November 2021 of that same year. When asked to comment about the wedding, John Lloyd only showed respect, saying that he is happy that his former flame found the ‘one.’ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW
Derek, for his part, expressed appreciation for John Lloyd’s kind words, and via PEP.Ph assured that he, “will always be there to love and protect Elias.” Derek has only kind words for Elias, describing him as a good, smart, and affectionate boy. “Pareho kami ng maturity level” he even adds. While Derek and John Lloyd do not share the closeness that Regine may share with Michelle, there is comfort in knowing that both these men in Ellen’s life treat each other with respect.
RELATED: John Lloyd, Ellen Adarna, and Derek Ramsay: Co-Parenting Positively, No Bashing
3. Reach out to an ex no matter how hard and frightening it may seem
Nikka Garcia, Patrick Garcia’s non-showbiz wife, has proven that a little bit of courage can go a long way for a blended family’s relationship. At the time when she was about to marry Patrick, Nikka shares in her blog that she did the rare gesture of inviting Jennylyn to talk in private without Patrick’s knowledge.
That time, she wanted to confront the unsettling insecurity she felt towards Patrick’s former partner. “Knowing that he has a son whom he adores with someone he used to love, not to mention, a very good-looking person… brought about the feeling of insecurity in me," Nikka wrote on her blog titled, "A Boy After my Heart" in 2016.
RELATED: Jennylyn Mercado on Patrick Garcia's Wife Nikka: 'Very Understanding, Napakabait'
Jennylyn is Patrick’s former flame and they co-parent their son Alex Jazz, now 7. Nikka says she didn’t know her place in the relationship and didn’t want to show Jennylyn any kind of disrespect with her presence. So before Nikka tied the knot with Patrick, she wanted to diffuse any awkward situation by talking to Jennylyn heart to heart.
To her surprise, Jennylyn was receptive and accepted her invite. She assured Jennylyn that she will be a good Tita to their son. The rest is history, as they say, and these days, Nikka and Jennylyn share a very good relationship –one that is founded on respect.ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW
Both Patrick and Jennylyn still continue to thrive in their showbiz careers and are happy building their respective families. Patrick welcomed his fourth child with Nikka in 2021 while Jennylyn and Dennis Trillo welcomed their first baby just this year.
4. Never stop nurturing the friendship you built with your ex’s new partner.
It’s rare to have an ex and a current partner see eye to eye. Rarer still is when the ex can comfortably joke around with her ex’s current partner. Such is the rapport that Jodi Santa Maria and Iwa Moto share. Jodi is Pampi Lacson’s former husband and they are co-parenting son, Thirdy, who is now 15 years old.
Currently, the two have their respective relationships—Jodi is dating Raymart Santiago while Pampi is happy with his growing family with actress Iwa Moto.
RELATED: Iwa Moto and Jodi Sta. Maria: 'Unexpected Friendships Are the Best Ones'
Netizen’s were quick to notice when Jodi teased that Iwa and Pampi were too sweet for comfort in one of Iwa’s IG post that showed a photo of her kissing Pampi on the cheek. “Ehem-ehem kalat na po ang langgam dito” the Teleserye actress wrote in the comment section punctuating it with ant emojis.
Iwa was gracious enough to acknowledge Jodi’s comment by answering, “Nakita mo ba next photo? Alam mo naman pag nilambing ko yan napapagastos siya eh.”
Just recently, Jodi was also seen attending the baptism of Iwa and Pampi’s second child, CJ proving both women are in very good terms whether they exchange banters in public or honor the other’s invite in private.
5. It takes two to make co-parenting work.
It took a lot of growing up for Andi Eigenmann and former beau Jake Ejercito before they could make co-parenting work. The former couple share a daughter, Ellie, now 10. Andi is currently engaged to surfer champ Philmar Alipayo and they have two kids, Lilo and Koa.ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW
Jake admits that co-parenting is not easy. More so in his case because he lives in Manila while Ellie lives in Siargao with Andi and Philmar. “Hindi siya madali and marami na rin kaming pinagdaanan [ni Andi],” he tells actress and vloger Francis Diaz during an interview. “Bago kami dumating sa point na 'to na we found the right balance, marami kaming pinagdaanan na ups and downs, parang roller coaster. Siyempre kasi when we became parents, 21 lang kami pareho.”
RELATED: ‘Andi’s Been A Great Co-Parent,' Sabi Ni Jake Ejercito Sa Pagpapalaki Sa Kanilang Anak
According to Jake that it was only when they have become more mature and outgrown their pride that they are able to place Ellie’s wellbeing at the center of their relationship. It will be recalled that in 2017 the two faced a custody battle but later managed to settle it amicably.
Andi says that she is currently in a good place with Jake and even if they differ in parenting styles the most important thing for her is that Ellie feels loved. “Kahit na ’yung specific parenting styles namin ay magkaiba, basta Ellie feels loved and grows up to be kind, good, and responsible, okay kami,” she says.
Happy endings are made of these—exes who are able to set their differences aside, be friends with each other’s new partners, and, more importantly, have their child/ren’s best interest at heart.
Read more about co-parenting and how to put your child first despite being separated here.
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