Love Bonito Co-Founder Rachel Lim On Motherhood And Business: ‘Our Well-Being Will Impact Our Children’

Rachel Lim is a household name to women who proudly don Singapore-born fashion brand Love Bonito. In 2022, she was on Tatler Asia’s Most Influential and just recently Rachel launched her podcast and show, Rach Reflects. The brand’s crisp and neat style that nailed the Asian-fit has become well loved in the Philippines and a peek into Rachel’s life through her online content shows that her personal style translates to Love Bonito’s look.

Now that Love Bonito is a 13-year-old brand that has gone international and judging from her life in square tiles, it may be easy to assume that Rachel’s life goes by without challenges. But as she opens up in an exclusive interview with Smart Parenting, she’s just like any other mom who juggles work, family life, and her own well-being. These days however, she’s adding another thing to her list: baby number 2. 

“I'm really enjoying the perks of the second trimester. And whatever they say about the second trimester is true, right? Your energy level is back, there are some days where you just go on with it, and you don't feel pregnant, Rachel said. As of this writing she is 19-weeks into her pregnancy.

“I've always known since I was young that I want children and have a family unit. And I think for the longest time, I delayed that and procrastinated because of my business. I've always thought that… I'm so afraid that if I have a kid, it will take away time and attention from the business, she said. Rachel and her husband Leo have a two-year-old son named Ollie.

Conceiving and the timing of kids

Rachel said now that her ‘first baby’ Love Bonito is officially a teenager, she regrets putting off having kids and assuming that it would be a breeze. “Because I thought it's like in the movies: you go to bed and the next day you’re pregnant. But obviously it’s not true, she said. 

“I struggled so much with getting pregnant even, taking all sorts of supplements, timing the ovulation period. It turned out to be a very stressful and even frustrating, if I may say, period where you just feel disappointed every month. And it took me a while to get pregnant even for my first pregnancy, Rachel said.

'I'm trying to practice being compassionate with ourselves. I think, as women, as moms, sometimes we're so hard on ourselves' -Rachel Lim, Love Bonito co-founder

She remembered that when she and her husband were trying to conceive, all the procedures felt so “unnatural, " and “takes the joy out of love-making. It even caused friction in their relationship. “The best thing for me was being able to speak to people or friends who have gone through it. And I will say, don't be afraid to reach out there is no shame, said Rachel.

Surviving an ectopic pregnancy

Before this pregnancy, Rachel had an ectopic pregnancy which required her to undergo an emergency surgery. “As I was waiting in the hospital bed to be wheeled to the operating theater, I took out my phone and on the Notes app I typed up everything about the business [that] I wanted to type out to Dione Song, my CEO, just in case, right? Because you’re just so paranoid, and I just typed out everything that I wanted to ever share about the business, and left it to her hoping that someone will pass that message out to her if something happens, Rachel said about her mental and emotional state at that time.

After that health scare, Rachel was put on medical leave and she came into 2023 armed with new lessons on life. Now her health has become her priority because she realizes good health means “I can have a family, I can pursue my ambitions, my dreams, and I can hope to serve the communities around me.

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Motherhood: your happiness shapes your kids

Rachel spoke about motherhood with humility, recognizing that she’s newer to it than she is to building a business. Though she’s hesitant to give advice, she was willing to share what she is learning and applying in her parenting. 

“I'm trying to practice being compassionate with ourselves. I think, as women, as moms, sometimes we're so hard on ourselves at work, the expectations that we have at home, the demands that are on us. 

Her understanding of parenting is informed by her interview of Canadian physician and author Dr. Gabor Mate. She asked him what is the most important gift parents can give their kids. “What he said really struck me. I never thought about it this way. He said, actually, the most important gift that you can give your kids is your own happiness, which means your well-being, that [you] ensure that you are well, you are healthy mentally, emotionally, physically, because if not, it will definitely, inevitably rub off. [It ] will definitely affect the way we treat them, the way we parent them, or even the energy that we give off to them, she said.

Glass balls versus rubber balls

In the early years of motherhood, Rachel learned the hard way that every season of life has glass balls and rubber balls. Rubber balls will bounce back up if dropped but when glass balls drop, it would shatter and it would be irreversible. For Rachel, her marriage was a glass ball that she caught right before it dropped.

'[Our happiness as parents] will directly impact and influence our children and their upbringing.' -Rachel Lim

The Love Bonito co-founder recounted how she would give her all to her business then go home and pour out all she can to her son while neglecting her marriage. “When it's time for my husband, I just have no energy left, I didn't even want to talk. I will just go to bed and say ‘Oh my God, I'm just so spent.’ It was only when her husband told her that he was sad to have learned she was opening a new store through the company’s LinkedIn page when she realized what was happening.

Rachel had received a long email from her husband entitled ‘A cry for help’, “and that was when it really hit me that ‘Oh, my God, this is a glass ball I don't want to break, I don't want to lose. So I better reprioritize and make time and effort, and spend my energy where it matters, what really, really matters at the end of the day.”

Apart from her health, sorting out which are her glass balls and which are her rubber balls today is an important lesson she’s learning in her journey as an entrepreneur and family woman. 

She adds, “And don’t be too hard on ourselves. Take care of ourselves because our happiness or our well being, is most important at the end of the day. It will directly impact and influence our children and their upbringing."