Dear Parent, You Need More Than Strength To Raise Your Baby Alone

Dear Parent,

You came home from your 25th week OB-GYN appointment and you learned about the gender of your unborn baby. It would have been an exciting time to deliver the news to your partner—but he left the moment he learned you are pregnant. He said he wasn’t ready and just like that, you realized, you are embarking on a whole new journey on your own and there’s no looking back.

With unmatched bravery you told yourself, “There’s only one way to get through this, and that is to keep marching forward.”

You’ve been going through morning sickness alone, as well as prenatal check-ups, and insane cravings for the past weeks. You look at couples on each of your doctor's appointments and you wonder, how does it feel to share this journey with someone? How does it feel to share this love growing inside you?

I feel you. I know your heart feels heavy right now.

You're facing one of the most transformative moments of your life, and the person you thought would be by your side isn't there. But please know that while you feel alone, you are not exactly alone. You just need to recognize your tribe: your family, friends, and support groups. With Smart Parenting Village, you can find other moms like you who are also anxious and clueless about parenting, traversing the parenthood path alone—but if you take each step at a time, know that in the end you’ll be able to figure things out. When the baby comes out, you will need an entire village who will remind you that you are strong, brave, resilient, and capable of so much more than you may realize, so choose your tribe wisely.

Grieve. Feel the hurt and disappointment. 

But don’t let your past define your journey into motherhood. You are already proving your strength by carrying this life in your womb, even without a partner’s support—even when your heart feels broken. But you need to remember that your child will need not only a strong mother, but also a happy one. It will be tough, but you need to heal.

You may wonder how you’ll do it all, how you’ll find the energy, the willpower to endure. And the truth is, even mothers who have their partners feel the same way you do. Nobody has figured out parenting to a T. What works for you might not work for me. And you’ll find that some days will probably be harder than others. But trust that you will find a way because love does that—it pulls you through the darkest times and fills you with light when you think you don’t have enough power to carry on.

Enjoy this moment—even the somersaults and ribcage kicks. Talk to your little one with love. Talk to yourself with kindness. Nourish yourself so the baby grows well inside you. You are doing an incredible job already, you just have to keep pushing forward.

Whether it’s family, friends, or new connections you make along the way, you don’t have to carry this burden alone. Learn to accept that help is not all about pity so you can embrace the community around you.

This chapter is not the entire story. It’s just one page and all you need to do is to turn that page and leave that part behind. Sure, you'll probably handle all the difficulties, all the stresses, and all the expenses on your own—but you’ll also have all the hugs, all the kisses, and all the love.

And that love, Momma, is enough.

Want to know how to raise a kid without feeling "may kulang"? Let this single mom tell you how.