After months of quarantine, you and your partner probably have more time for love-making, if you're not pregnant yet. There's no need to be ashamed. Sex can be a source of happy hormones, which can help you deal with stress. With what's happening in the world, we all need the happy hormones we can get.
There are perks of being faithful to your partner, and one of them is having someone to be intimate with when time permits. Time isn't the only crucial when you want to have sex when you're married with kids. Admittedly, you may not always have the time and energy for it, and it can be repetitive.
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5 common sex mistakes couples with kids make
Sex may not be equal to intimacy with your partner, but it is vital, albeit not a priority to many parents. Just like a relationship involves work, so does your sex life. The first step to doing that is making a choice and wanting to have a healthy sex life after having kids.
The next, the next step is assessing what kind of work needs to be done. Based on the advice of relationship experts and fellow married couples, you might want to check if you're committing these mistakes:
1. You don't make time for sex.
Sure, it's not on the top of your to-do list, but altogether leaving it out is definitely a no-no. It's perfectly okay to say no sometimes, and it can be a welcome surprise to initiate sex with your partner (ahem, ladies!). Find a healthy balance, and be reasonable. Don't always refuse and stop making excuses. Make time for sex. Write it on your calendar if needed.
2. You're too concerned about your physical appearance.
After having kids, women can quickly get conscious about their bodies. It's no longer the honeymoon beach body if you ever had that — and newsflash though, not a lot of women have that hourglass shape. The trick is, if you appreciate your postpartum body for carrying your baby in the womb and giving birth, your husband will do so as well.
If you're not happy about what you see in front of a mirror, do something about it. Don't just let go of yourself. Set a couple's goal of workout regularly, or put on a little makeup once in a while (and especially if you're anticipating some action).
3. You're not open to talking about sex or trying something new.
The key to enjoying sex is knowing what you want and telling our husband about it. Voice out what turns you on and what's pleasurable for you. Speak up, too, if you feel discomfort or pain, especially if it's the first time having sex after giving birth. (Click here for ways to be intimate while waiting and here some after-birth-friendly sex positions to try.)
In the same manner, if your husband tells you that he wants to try something new in the bedroom, try not to dismiss it right away. Trying something doesn't mean you have to do it all the time henceforth. Maybe that's the spark you need to make your sex life as adventurous as it was before. (Click here to read about role-playing or here for when you're ready to try using toys!)
4. You think all your partner wants is to have sex.
There's no point in accusing your partner of always wanting sex. Men are wired differently than women, sure, but each person also has a different love language. Maybe touch is how he feels loved, and you can discuss how to do this outside of intercourse.
The average happy couple has sex at least once a week, but some couples get busy in the bedroom for three to four days a week. Some couples who are trying to get pregnant do the deed every other day.
5. You don't allow time for some cuddling after sex.
When sex is just sex, then it can easily turn into a meaningless chore. Experts say what you do after an intimate act is crucial to your relationship. Hugging, having a conversation, or even watching TV, can be reassuring to both parties. It doesn't always have to be time-consuming -- yes, we all want to sleep!
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