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5 Unique Traits That Parents With Successful Kids Have, According To ScienceHow you treat them affects their attitude in the future.by Kitty Elicay .
If parents are able to raise happy, healthy, independent, and successful kids, then their role as nurturers would be fulfilled. And while they may not realize it, their behavior as parents is crucial to achieving this.
5 traits parents of successful kids have
Want to know the secret to raise successful kids? Here’s what parents of high-achievers do differently, according to science.
1. They don’t lie.
According to researchers at Nanyang Technological University (NTU) in Singapore, children who are told lies by their parents may have more trouble adjusting to adulthood. They are also more likely to lie to their parents once they are older and engage in negative behavior.
When a child asks a tough question, lying is the easiest way out. But it can send a conflicting message to your child, especially when you tell them that “honesty is the best policy,” according to Assistant Professor Setoh Peipei, who is the study’s lead author.
Take your cue from celebrity dad Dr. Hayden Kho who takes every question that daughter Scarlet Snow asks seriously. “Kapag mga questions na seryoso, inuupo ko talaga, one-on-one, ina-isolate ko,” he shares in a previous SmartParenting.com.ph article.
2. Their tone of voice is different.
A study from Cardiff University in the U.K. found that an adult’s tone of voice has a lot to do with compliance. They observed more than 1,000 teenagers who were divided into groups and made them listen to 30 messages voiced by mothers regarding schoolwork. These were delivered with different intonations: controlling, autonomy-supportive, and neutral.
The study found that teens had negative reactions to the mother speaking in a controlling manner while they responded positively to the mom speaking in a supportive voice. So, the next time you ask your kids to do something, you may want to say it in a gentler tone.
3. They engage in back-and-forth talk with their kids.
According to a study done by scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), engaging in back-and-forth conversations with your child can boost her language and brain development.
Scientists studied voice recordings of kids ages 4 and 6 years old, where they had everyday conversations with their mom and dad. They also took MRI scans of the kids’ brains to identify differences in the brain’s response to language
MIT researchers found that the part of the brain involved in speech and language was much more active in kids who experienced back-and-forth conversations with their parents, compared to those who engaged less in this interaction. They believe that this exchange gives children the opportunity to practice their communication skills and also improves their social skills as well.
4. They let their kids be creative.
According to data from the United Kingdom Millenium Cohort Study, getting a child involved with arts — listening to or playing music; drawing, painting, or making things; and reading for enjoyment — are associated with increased levels of self-esteem. This is important as children who have good self-esteem are more likely to develop into happy, productive people.
5. They are not “sharents.”
Do you enjoy sharing photos and videos of your child online? Have you ever wondered how they feel about it?
A poll conducted by Microsoft found that 42 percent of teens ages 13 to 17 in 25 countries have a problem with their parents posting about them on social media. Of that number, 11 percent feel that it’s a big problem.
Oversharing about kids on social media does not only make them uncomfortable, but it can also pose risks, especially if you share information that include their real full names, ages, birthdays, mothers’ maiden names, etc.
Celebrity mom Isabelle Daza says oversharing can also affect a child’s self-esteem and make them lose their sense of identity. She realized this after talking to a psychologist regarding the subject.
“The psychologist was saying that when mothers overshare what their children are doing, they don’t realize the effects now. But later on, it will happen, and that for me, was an enlightening moment,” she shares in an interview with Pep.ph.
Before you post a photo or video of your child, you can try and ask them for their consent first, like how mom Patricia Rodriguez-Carranza does it. “Maaaring cute ang inyong anak sa inyong paningin, pero para sa kanya, nakakahiya pala ito,” she shares. “Ang kanilang desisyon ay may bigat dahil mukha nila ang ating ibinibida.”
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