Solenn Heussaff is Discovering the Right Mix of Parenthood

Her latest TV appearance was that of powerful warrior goddess Bathalumang Casseopeia in the GMA fantaserye Encantadia, but in real life, she is a mom of two who got her first black eye from one of her daughters.

Even with that scary experience, Solenn says the unplanned chaos is one of the best parts of being a mom. "You are really full of unconditional love. Every time I had a friend who gave birth, they'd say, 'It's love at first sight, and you'll never love like this.' You're always like, 'I heard that before,' but you don't really understand it until you become a mom."

Solenn adds, "It's everything. It's an explosion of feelings. If you're happy, sad, or scared, it's just more. Everything is more. Maybe that's the beauty of it, because it's the unknown, and sometimes there's something magical in the unknown. As a parent, every day, it's like getting to know the unknown."

Even with that scary experience, she says the unplanned chaos is one of the best parts of being a mom. "You are really full of unconditional love. Every time I had a friend who gave birth, they'd say, 'It's love at first sight, and you'll never love like this.' You're always like, I heard that before, but you don't really understand it until you become a mom.

It was a delicate pregnancy that required her to take daily injections, leading to a very bruised belly. "The hard part was the thought that I could lose my child at any time. Then I was stuffing my face with a 3000-calorie-a-day diet. I was crying while eating. I wasn't enjoying anything. They wouldn't allow me to walk. I had to go to the hospital and was bedridden many times because they wouldn't allow me to stand even to pee or poo."

When asked why she decided to do it all over again, she said that she and Nico always wanted two children. "We both grew up in a household with siblings, and we feel like it's really important. When I asked some friends who are only children, a big majority wish they had siblings. I guess when your parents get older, you have to make certain decisions for them. I think it's always nice to have that conversation with someone instead of second-guessing yourself. So, for the second child, it was a no-brainer." 

With their busy schedules, Solenn and Nico have to balance being busy with being present. "I think logistics is the most challenging because when you're a mom of two, it's obviously like they're not at the same stage, they're doing different activities, they're going to different schools."

She talks about a common parenting dilemma: "We're working towards a good future for them, but we don't want to be away from them. We want to be present, but we also want them to be independent. So, it's that whole back and forth, coming in, coming out, knowing when to step in, knowing when to step out, and knowing how to parent."

As if on cue, Nico arrives to drop off their daughters to join the photo shoot. Solenn shares that their girls are hardly ever without either of their parents—even when it's school drop-offs or pick-ups, the couple ensures that they are present, especially in these formative years.

Tili and Maë immediately head for the ball pit and play area. Solenn lets them play, unbridled, with the energy that only kids can muster. Occasionally, she warned them to be careful (in French), keeping an eye, ready to step in, but still keeping her distance. During art time, the girls were so absorbed in painting that they didn't need directions.

Everything is about gentle parenting these days, she notes, "but I didn't grow up with that. So, I honestly don't believe in 100% gentle parenting. I do a part of it. It's very tricky because obviously if you talk about this, people will say, she's doing it the 'hard' way. There's a lot of judging nowadays, and everything is also on social media. Not only are you doubting yourself, but other people are doubting you too. But I think being a parent is learning to trust your gut."

She and Nico share discipline duties, but she thinks she is the 'softer' parent. "I'm more relaxed when it comes to certain things like food and nutrition. I'm very health-conscious—we both are, but I'm the one who says they can have ice cream if they have done something good. Nico is like ice cream is only on weekends, and after they eat."

The couple tries to steer their daughters away from sugary treats. "When you go to canteens or things like that, they have all these artificial juices and all these cookies, or just everything's just bad. The kids are in school to learn, but you're giving them things that will affect their learning capacity."

There's a balance, though. She adds that she grew up with all those sweets. "But I'm not craving for cookies and candies and all that. So that's what we're trying  to instill."

Solenn says they are "very, very present" in their daughters' lives. "When we're at home, we're with the kids." They take turns, like a tag team, she describes. Often, she is the one in charge of mealtimes. Nico is the one who puts the girls to sleep. She is open to working again but says she would like to be more in tune with the girls' schedules, which is why she would prefer working on telenovelas like Encantadia.

Pets are a constant presence in their home, and she likes that their cat El Gato, dog Pochola, and turtles Patato and Pechuga are teaching the girls how to be compassionate. "The girls are so gentle with them. They love Pachola and have been asking us for another dog. Tili approaches every single cat and dog, even the ones on the street, and tries to hug them. I have to stop her. I tell her it is cute, but you don't know where it comes from, and you never know if it has rabies."

Aside from empathy and compassion, they are also nurturing their daughters' imagination and creativity. When traveling, they bring coloring books and dolls on the plane to occupy themselves. Just a few days before the shoot, the Bolzicos had just returned from a month-long vacation where they had been driving through France. They also get the girls outdoors, and she makes sure to incorporate creativity in their play. "I let them collect branches and flowers that they can arrange. I let them pretend that they're building a wood fire." Another way they encourage creativity? Solenn and Nico are intentional about giving their girls zero screen time, even if it means they both have to engage with their daughters constantly. 

She is very conscious about mess, she says, something she probably picked up from her mother, Cynthia. The girls are taught to pick up after themselves after playing with toys. The only area where they can really make a mess is when they are in her studio, painting with her.

Art teaches them so many things, like focus and problem-solving skills, Solenn adds. "I wish there were more art classes for kids, because there are so many studies that talk about art's positive effects. They also have this DIY kit that I found on Amazon, with materials like glue, scissors, glitter, pipe cleaners. I just put it on the floor and they start making things like bracelets."

"I think art is very important because it is a form of self-expression. I used to have a difficult time expressing myself. It was Nico who helped to draw it out of me. Now art is another way for me to do it. I lose track of time when I am painting. It was harder when I had to go to my studio in my mom's house to paint. Now I have a studio at home, so I don't have to put off painting, especially in those moments when you suddenly get inspiration."

She started out with social commentary as the theme of her paintings and has now shifted to art that captures the essence of growth and the season of life. "One of my inspirations was this Monstera plant we have. I always see it when it grows new leaves, maybe every month. I see when it starts sprouting, I see when one leaf dies. So, it's about the whole layering in life, and the different seasons you go through. No matter what you've been through, no matter what you go through, no matter your thoughts, things happen, and they happen for a reason, and it just works."