Usapang Tatay: How Kobe Bryant Inspires Me To Be A #GirlDad

I first appreciated the hashtag ‘girl dad’ from Kobe Bryant. Kobe was a father of four girls, Natalia, Gianna, Bianka, and Capri. He lived his legacy through his children, especially Gianna who was following her dad’s footsteps. But the world knew what happened that day in January 2020.

I have dad friends who have daughters and I witnessed their wonderful relationships with them and thought to myself, “Ako rin, gusto ko rin ng ganyan”. I dreamed of having a daughter because we were only two siblings in our family, having an older brother. Maybe it was a case of wishing for something that I never had. I say this because most of my friends, my brother included, are sportsmen who idolize Kobe Bryant. He was the Michael Jordan of our generation. We admired him because of his achievements in his craft and it continued after his retirement because he became a role model.

My perception before having kids was that being a dad affords you to experience what you did as a boy through a son, maybe less from a daughter because of general common interests. When I looked at Kobe as a role model, I saw he was able to break that assumption, especially through his daughter Gianna who shared the same interest in basketball.

She continued her father's ‘mamba’ legacy by being the best basketball player she could be with her father’s values and work ethic. And I said to myself, “Hindi naman pala”. It’s not a case of “living your dreams and reminiscing your childhood through your daughter” but more of getting to discover shared experiences with one another, regardless of gender.

It was in the same month and year of Kobe's passing, January 2020, when we found out that my wife was pregnant. It was a bittersweet time for us because many things were happening around the world: Australian fires, the erupting of Taal Volcano, and the novel coronavirus looming. Yet, the news of my wife’s pregnancy toppled all of those.

At that time, what was important was that as long as our baby is healthy, gender doesn’t matter. Weeks later, Mischi had her Congenital Anomaly Scan (CAS) and found out she was a girl. I can't describe the feelings word for word, but we made a video about it.. It didn’t take a while for us to decide on the name Margaux and that’s when I knew for sure, that I was going to own #girldad.

Three years have passed, and I am loving every moment of it. There have been many learnings along the way. Let me share with you some of the things that Margaux has taught me and how I become a better dad every day.

3 girldad lessons

1. Being present is the most important.

The words “Dada, let’s play!” or “Dada, stop cellphone na” hit me hard as a dad. I am guilty of this because my work revolves around my devices whether that’s to research, write, create content, and reach contacts. I do make it a point that it is intentional for me to be able to set aside time at least once a day for a couple of minutes to first be interested in what Margaux wants to do. Interest is the first step to remaining present because curiosity will prolong the presence. I admit that it was not natural for me at first because I had different interests growing up and I too am learning more new things during Margaux’s play time. Finding what’s interesting in what she likes to do may be the first step to having quality time with our children.

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2. Lambing is key.

Physical affection was always big for me growing up and I learned that from my dad. Luckily, Mischi and I share the same values and were always ‘clingy’ when we were still mag-jowa. So there was not much of an adjustment whenever we shower Margaux with our love.

As Margaux developed in communication, she would often hug and kiss us whenever she wanted to. I credit that to Little Gym which taught us, parents, to use affirmation and encouragement when kids would be able to complete small tasks. We say “Thank you Margaux for packing away your things” or “Good job, Margaux in reciting numbers one to 10.” It applies to disciplining her, as well as teaching her values. She may cry when we discipline her but we constantly affirm her and remind her that we love her.

We do put ourselves in her shoes, too. Imagine how it feels when you are told you are wrong, how do you feel? If it comes from a place of love, we appreciate it more and become better people, whether you are a kid or an adult.

3. Loving my wife Mischi even more.

I did not realize this at first when Margaux was born. But having to go through and still going through struggles, joys, ups and downs of life, marriage, and parenting, I can appreciate and love my partner more and more.

It is true what they say, that mothers are superwomen. Mischi is a cabin crew, and I cannot believe how she does things. As I write this, I am waiting for her to arrive from Los Angeles after a four-day layover. Sometimes when she arrives home early in the morning from a red-eye flight, she goes on her day just like the rest of us who had a full night of sleep and then dedicate her time to her family, especially Margaux. That is when I always tell her, “I can’t imagine how you do it because I always want my sleep!”.

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Those are just some of the things she does naturally: her effort, time, intention, and making sure that the house is still in order. Not just that, I see Margaux in her and I see her in Margaux, which makes me understand and appreciate them both even more.

With five NBA titles, NBA MVP, unmatched work ethic, and dedication to his craft, Kobe Bryant exemplified the true meaning of a winner, both on and off the court. A father of four beautiful daughters and a loving wife, Kobe’s family is continuing their family’s legacy through the Mamba and Mambacita Sports Foundation. This non-profit provides opportunities for underserved girls and boys through basketball.

Kobe wasn’t just focused on nurturing his family but on providing a purpose for the ones who needed it most. What Kobe has shown us was achieving greatness means you have to go out there and get it, earn it, and accept the challenges and defeats to become better. Our parenting journey will be tough and full of adversity, but following the course of our purpose as a family man is what it takes to become a true champion.

Migs Bustos is a news anchor, host, and proud #girldad to Margaux. He is happily married to his wife Mischi.